I spread rumours about my friend when she left, she's coming back now

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Anonymous #1
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Report Thread starter 3 weeks ago
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Basically my friend left my school when I was in year 8, and I stupidly and unfortunately told people some of her secrets (I told them about her being bi, and smoking etc). I regret doing this so much and I wish I valued her friendship rather than seeking popularity and laughing with the people that bullied so they stop bullying me.
But anyways karma struck me AND SHE IS COMING BACK (i'm going to year 10 this year btw). Idk what to do. I told her I spread some stuff and that I'm sorry but there is certain bullies at school that have been bullying me for years and they're going to tell her what I said and escalate the whole issue. I have social anxiety and we used to be best friends and she was my only friend for a while, even though she was extremely toxic we were super close.
Idk if I want to hang out with her and I know she will probably be alone if I don't but she was extremely toxic and I don't want to seem snakey or anything like that. I really wish I didn't spread anything but there is no going back and I don't know what to do. It will be so awkward and weird and uncomfortable so I need advice ASAP (btw I know im horrible but please don't judge)
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melissa.17
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First of all there’s no excusing what you have done and I think the best thing you can do is take accountability and I mean truly take accountability. No buts or excuses, I have social anxiety too, you need to talk to her properly and tell her exactly what you said, maybe give your reasoning without trying to excuse your behaviour and hope that she accepts your apology. If you spread any lies, I’d clear those up with the people you told them to.

Another thing, how was she toxic? You don’t have to be friends with her but the right thing to do would be to stick up for her if anything did happen. Don’t be a bully to get out of being bullied. Be better.

Good luck, I hope you enjoy year 10
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whatitdobabyeee
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Watch Gossip Girl and see how it turns out
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SoulfulTwist
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Just tell her the truth
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LovelyMrFox
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What you did is unacceptable, and you should be expecting her to not want to be friends with you anymore.
Tell her the truth, and from there you cannot do anything more. It is her decision if she wants to stay friends from there on.

What do you mean by 'she was toxic'? Why are you still hanging out with a person you know is toxic?
Doesnt matter. Saying that she was toxic isnt helping your case, since you have stooped to her level.
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stereotypeasian
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great friend
I would totally love to be your friend irl :rolleyes:
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Anonymous #1
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(Original post by melissa.17)
First of all there’s no excusing what you have done and I think the best thing you can do is take accountability and I mean truly take accountability. No buts or excuses, I have social anxiety too, you need to talk to her properly and tell her exactly what you said, maybe give your reasoning without trying to excuse your behaviour and hope that she accepts your apology. If you spread any lies, I’d clear those up with the people you told them to.

Another thing, how was she toxic? You don’t have to be friends with her but the right thing to do would be to stick up for her if anything did happen. Don’t be a bully to get out of being bullied. Be better.

Good luck, I hope you enjoy year 10
She made fun of me and isolated me from all my other friends. And yeah I agree with what you said
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Anonymous #1
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(Original post by LovelyMrFox)
What you did is unacceptable, and you should be expecting her to not want to be friends with you anymore.
Tell her the truth, and from there you cannot do anything more. It is her decision if she wants to stay friends from there on.

What do you mean by 'she was toxic'? Why are you still hanging out with a person you know is toxic?
Doesnt matter. Saying that she was toxic isnt helping your case, since you have stooped to her level.
She was my only friend and I didn't want to be lonely.
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Anonymous #1
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(Original post by stereotypeasian)
great friend
I would totally love to be your friend irl :rolleyes:
Whatever
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stereotypeasian
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actions and consequences - what did you really think was going to happen ?!
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pepsimaxcherry
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honestly, it wasn’t a nice thing to do but we all do things we regret! you obviously feel bad about it so you’ve learnt from your mistakes!

best thing to do is message her and explain what you’ve done. be totally honest with her and just tell her what you told other people. there’s nothing worse than her believing you’re best mates when you haven’t told her what you did.

talk with her and see what she says. apologise and offer to hang with her at school. that way it’s up to her whether she wants to pursue a friendship with you, or just find a new group of friends.

make sure you apologise and try to make your mistakes right again. maybe explain to the people you told the rumours to that they aren’t true?

hope this helps
Last edited by pepsimaxcherry; 3 weeks ago
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Anonymous #1
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(Original post by pepsimaxcherry)
honestly, it wasn’t a nice thing to do but we all do things we regret! you obviously feel bad about it so you’ve learnt from your mistakes!

best thing to do is message her and explain what you’ve done. be totally honest with her and just tell her what you told other people. there’s nothing worse than her believing you’re best mates when you haven’t told her what you did.

talk with her and see what she says. apologise and offer to hang with her at school. that way it’s up to her whether she wants to pursue a friendship with you, or just find a new group of friends.

make sure you apologise and try to make your mistakes right again. maybe explain to the people you told the rumours to that they aren’t true?

hope this helps
Thanks alot for not judging> I was going to tell everyone the rumours were not true but then lockdown hit and i wasnt able to do so.. hopefully i can di it soon enough and apologise properly
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Anonymous #1
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(Original post by Anonymous)
You’re actually such a sh*t person
I know you don't have to tell me
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pepsimaxcherry
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(Original post by Anonymous)
Thanks alot for not judging> I was going to tell everyone the rumours were not true but then lockdown hit and i wasnt able to do so.. hopefully i can di it soon enough and apologise properly
hey it’s fine! we all make mistakes and as long as you don’t do it again and learn from these mistakes, then it’s okay!

try your best to make things right and apologise! even if you guys don’t become friends again, at least you tried to make things right
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Anonymous #1
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Update I just sent my friend a long message apologizing. she probably wont see it now since its 11:15pm but I feel so much better to apologise and hold my self accountable. I hope she understands
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pepsimaxcherry
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(Original post by Anonymous)
Update I just sent my friend a long message apologizing. she probably wont see it now since its 11:15pm but I feel so much better to apologise and hold my self accountable. I hope she understands
you did the right thing! don’t spend all your time blaming yourself, you’ve grown and matured as a person and learnt from your mistakes
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Anonymous #1
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(Original post by pepsimaxcherry)
you did the right thing! don’t spend all your time blaming yourself, you’ve grown and matured as a person and learnt from your mistakes
Thank you so much you don't understand how much this means to me!!!! :heart:
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pepsimaxcherry
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(Original post by Anonymous)
Thank you so much you don't understand how much this means to me!!!! :heart:
no worries! as long as you hold yourself accountable for your mistakes and learn from them, there’s absolutely nothing wrong! you did the right thing and even though you made a mistake, you admitted it and took the necessary steps to try to make it right! <3
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mgi
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(Original post by Anonymous)
She made fun of me and isolated me from all my other friends. And yeah I agree with what you said
You both were very toxic and that's why you both have social anxiety! You both should ask each other why you both were so spiteful to each other! Honesty is needed here. She may have changed as well.
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Anonymous #1
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(Original post by mgi)
You both were very toxic and that's why you both have social anxiety! You both should ask each other why you both were so spiteful to each other! Honesty is needed here. She may have changed as well.
She replied and we forgave eachother
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