Really annoyed with myself - laziness

I'm so disappointed with my laziness. I just couldn't be bothered to work at all during my A levels, and as a result ended up with MUCH lower grades than I ever thought I was capable of. I was supposed to get AAAA in this year's exams all along. But I just didn't work at all and ended up with ABCE. I'm interested in a career in the law as well, which I now think is a hopeless case. Resits will probably be a waste of time since I definitely won't get offers... now UCAS expect students to put all the grades on their form, and what uni will accept me with those? I feel like just giving up since I have no motivation and this isn't for me. I'm wanting to just put this behind me, but it'll affect me for the rest of my life and I just feel like jumping off a cliff.

I've been very unhappy these last two years, but the last thing I want is to blame it on depression and sit around feeling sorry for myself. What do you advise I do? I've got the chance to go to university through clearing, which I am actually really excited about because it gives me a chance to do something... i.e. do some work and also get away. But I'm just worried the fact that I feel like a failure will create a negative atmosphere around me for the next three-four years and I won't be able to enjoy myself.

My mum's been surprisingly supportive (she usually isn't and just insults me) and said I might as well go to uni and work hard there instead of dwell on the past. But I feel like I've blown it for myself and don't think work experience or anything can help me now. My friends too think I'm ridiculous since most of them see A levels as a stepping stone to uni, but that's easy for them to say since they got good grades and are at the uni they want for the course they want. I'm such an idiot - I can't believe I didn't work and get the grades I needed when I had to.

Reply 1

bipolar_clown

Talk to your sixth form advisor; they'll know what your next move should be.
I don't know much about clearing but if there is a chance for you to do something you want to do then you should take it.

Depression is not helpful when you're studying but I can understand that you don't want to blame this on it. Maybe you didn't work as much as you should have, but depression takes away your motivation so don't beat yourself up too much. It's a learning curve; if you do go to Uni you'll know not to procrastinate and to work hard. It's better you learn this now than failing at Uni and paying thousands of pounds to do so.

Good luck!

Reply 2

made_of_fail

1

Did you just walk into the exams without doing any preparation whatsoever?

Reply 3

Manky

I swear apples work for me when I'm lazy! Eating an apple did me wonders for laziness. I was up and about in no time.
Anyhow..see the doc :biggrin:

Hope things get better for ya bruv/sis..

Reply 4

im so academic

15

Can't you do retakes to push your grades up a bit? Because you never know, by just doing resits you can come out with ABB/AAB. So I say take a gap year to clear your minds off things. use your gap year to do some retakes (honestly, you should), get some work experience, and maybe in the year after that you can go into uni. I'd advise not to go to uni this year, seeing as your in depression and you need all the support you can get - including your family. Be brave and turn your life around! :smile:

Reply 5

Electric_Dreams

9

im so academic

Can't you do retakes to push your grades up a bit? Because you never know, by just doing resits you can come out with ABB/AAB. So I say take a gap year to clear your minds off things. use your gap year to do some retakes (honestly, you should), get some work experience, and maybe in the year after that you can go into uni. I'd advise not to go to uni this year, seeing as your in depression and you need all the support you can get - including your family. Be brave and turn your life around! :smile:

I agree with this, but I'd also talk to your 6th form/college advisor too.
Hope you feel better soon. :console:

Really annoyed with myself - laziness

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