Bad lad attitude and women's perspective. Why?

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Anonymous #1
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This isn't about judgement so don't be shy or at least hide behind the anon badge like me.

Even after school I still see the 'bad lad' personalities and the women that fall for them. Perhaps it is less of a thing now that either a) people have grown up now, or b) I am just less exposed to it since I am no longer surrounded by it at school.

I suppose this is just 2 questions; 1 each for guys and girls.

Guys: Why did you go for the 'bad boy' or 'bad lad' attitude? What was the point in it? To be alpha? Was it to fit in? Especially those who take it on to an aggressive side; where if you get into an argument, even without provocation, a fight is on.

Girls: Simply - what attracts you (or attracted you at first) to the 'bad lad'? Does it or did it wear off eventually for you? Is it really about turning a 'bad boy' good? Is it the 'danger'? Do they just have a certain 'type' of persona that hooked you in - like does it exude confidence?

I suppose that's what I went through school wondering and apparently I still do so today from time to time.

Hope I get some good mixed answers, but remember this isn't a judgement post as I am just interested in the reasons for rather than having an opinion on the behaviour.

Thanks!
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Anonymous #2
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Girl here. I’ve gone for way too many “bad lads”. I think it’s not because they are bad as such it’s more because they have a certain manner and attitude. Like they are usually very confident, go up to girls and know what they want. Which to me is appealing but obvs the treatment that follows is not. It’s not that I want to turn him good or whatever. They just usually are very smooth, compliment girls in the right way to get what they want but it leaves you feeling violated and vulnerable afterwards.

I would avoid them like the plague if I could but sometimes if you have no prior knowledge of them it’s not always easy to know whether they are a bad lad etc. and that’s what they prey on.
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Anonymous #3
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I might be one of those 'bad boys' you describe or have elements of what you say. I don't think people just become bad boys, its something normally that is.

But maybe this will help, I was having an argument with a girl once and I told her well if you want me to be nice then there are a million nice guys out there, go for them. She replied by saying something about nice guys being boring.

I remember in year 7, I was a bit of lad in class, I would get into trouble, I was quite cheeky, (funny as well dare I say), my friends were quite quiet, 'treat a girl right' type guys, but it was interesting that I got asked out a few times but they didn't (I would probably say then, I probably was more average looking out of my friends as well). I would literally swear at girls (in a jokey manner), they would laugh and say omg I can't believe you said that.

I think it's about fun and confidence. Regardless of what feminists argue, most women 90% don't agree with feminism, most women, I would say, are attracted by confidence and masculinity. I would guess that it's natural or say biological even.

The mistake I made was I realised girls liked this stuff, the worse you treat them, the more advantages you gain. And I feel remorse and I hope I didn't cause too much damage to girls that I have been with in the past. I feel terrible actually. I've been told I take advantage of girls' emotional needs for other type of gains (physical).

Don't worry about it. It's just natural, some women will prefer certain guys, there are girls out there for you. Some girls will always prefer these types of boys, like many of us prefer feminine women or a certain race perhaps.

Any questions, just ask.
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Kitten in boots
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I certainly went for the bad lads when I was 16-18.

The reason was simple. unlike a lot of the nice boys, they could hold a conversation with girls. Which is kind of a requirement if you are after your first date or first quick fumble.
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gjd800
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The attraction is probably down to strong self-confidence and the air of rebelliousness

I just know that every gf I have ever had has whinged like **** when I've been in a scrap, so they don't like the realities even if they like the idea
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TheStarboy
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I’ve known many bad boys in my life. They have been massively successful in attracting women even with their infamous reputation. Girls are attracted to their bad boy attitudes and their possessiveness and how much they value them. Something you don’t see in nice guys
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Fermion.
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(Original post by Anonymous)
This isn't about judgement so don't be shy or at least hide behind the anon badge like me.

Even after school I still see the 'bad lad' personalities and the women that fall for them. Perhaps it is less of a thing now that either a) people have grown up now, or b) I am just less exposed to it since I am no longer surrounded by it at school.

I suppose this is just 2 questions; 1 each for guys and girls.

Guys: Why did you go for the 'bad boy' or 'bad lad' attitude? What was the point in it? To be alpha? Was it to fit in? Especially those who take it on to an aggressive side; where if you get into an argument, even without provocation, a fight is on.

Girls: Simply - what attracts you (or attracted you at first) to the 'bad lad'? Does it or did it wear off eventually for you? Is it really about turning a 'bad boy' good? Is it the 'danger'? Do they just have a certain 'type' of persona that hooked you in - like does it exude confidence?

I suppose that's what I went through school wondering and apparently I still do so today from time to time.

Hope I get some good mixed answers, but remember this isn't a judgement post as I am just interested in the reasons for rather than having an opinion on the behaviour.

Thanks!
My ex was a bad boy. I found it attractive at the time because he was just more dominant. He was also rebellious and carefree and I liked his spontaneous nature. I suppose you could say that yes I was attracted to the “danger”. He would always put me in my place and I guess I enjoyed that :lol:

We broke up though and now I find bad boys repulsive. I just want to find a genuine man who has no intention of playing games. Just want to live a happy and quiet life with the right one.
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