Get no male attention because I'm shy Watch

Anonymous #1
#1
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I really want a boyfriend but I find it really hard to meet guys because I'm shy (well, I assume that's the reason). People say I'm really pretty all the time and that I have an great figure, and that I'm a really nice person and have a good sense of humour (I don't want to sound like I love myself, I'm just being honest). I'm sure the only reason why guys aren't interested is that I can be shy around guys. My four closest friends who I see regularly are all overweight but really outgoing and I've overheard many guys say how unattractive looking they are and how they all have annoying personalities, and how I'm the only pretty one in the group. But these girls always have boyfriends and get loads of attention from guys, and i get none. They always make snide comments about how I get no male attention and it really upsets me. It seem unfair that I'm always single simply because I can be quiet and have less confidence with them. I'm in my early 20s so it can't be a coinsidence. What can I do to change things?
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Ronaldo VII
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#2
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Perhaps you be the one to make a move instead of waiting for a guy to move in on you? Being shy isn't an excuse, you'll have to get over it sooner or later. What have you got to lose?
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Makka_mooon
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To be fair, I'm more inclined to say you shouldn't change. Get a bit more cofident when talking to them but most times it should be the lad who instigates the talking. Better yet, if you catch a lad checking you out and you like the look of him, flash him a smile. Simple as that! That would get me coming over for a chat.
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xSplashx
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Gain some confidence. All those people who have complimented you can't be lying so build up some self belief. Then go out with mates who won't make snide comments and bring down that confidence. If you notice a male looking at you, make eye contact and smile. They most likely will come over and start a conversation. After that you just have to make conversation with them. It may take a while but being able to do that will boost your confidence a bit more, making you less shy.
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Bebbs
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#5
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if you want male attention, wear a lower top.


(Fake confidence if you dont have it)
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insanetothebrain
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Show some skin, also dont hang around with these mingers.
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Bedshaped
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Smile!
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Anonymous #1
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(Original post by insanetothebrain)
Show some skin, also dont hang around with these mingers.
How does the way they look have anything to do with it?
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insanetothebrain
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(Original post by Anonymous)
How does the way they look have anything to do with it?
Much more approachable.
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em[ily]
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Pretend you are confident - they'll never know!
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worthers
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Some guys like the more quiet ones. You'll find someone, don't worry.
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Rouge
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(Original post by Anonymous)
I really want a boyfriend but I find it really hard to meet guys because I'm shy (well, I assume that's the reason). People say I'm really pretty all the time and that I have an great figure, and that I'm a really nice person and have a good sense of humour (I don't want to sound like I love myself, I'm just being honest). I'm sure the only reason why guys aren't interested is that I can be shy around guys. My four closest friends who I see regularly are all overweight but really outgoing and I've overheard many guys say how unattractive looking they are and how they all have annoying personalities, and how I'm the only pretty one in the group. But these girls always have boyfriends and get loads of attention from guys, and i get none. They always make snide comments about how I get no male attention and it really upsets me. It seem unfair that I'm always single simply because I can be quiet and have less confidence with them. I'm in my early 20s so it can't be a coinsidence. What can I do to change things?
you probably aren't very attractive looking, judging by what you say. If you're early twenties and not many guys have even asked you out?
Girls often are bad judges of female attractiveness, you maybe thin etc but there are certain features and little things which make you attractive or totally not that's hard to explain to a straight female. Every non hideous girl gets told they're pretty a lot.
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Adarah
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(Original post by Anonymous)
I really want a boyfriend but I find it really hard to meet guys because I'm shy (well, I assume that's the reason). People say I'm really pretty all the time and that I have an great figure, and that I'm a really nice person and have a good sense of humour (I don't want to sound like I love myself, I'm just being honest). I'm sure the only reason why guys aren't interested is that I can be shy around guys. My four closest friends who I see regularly are all overweight but really outgoing and I've overheard many guys say how unattractive looking they are and how they all have annoying personalities, and how I'm the only pretty one in the group. But these girls always have boyfriends and get loads of attention from guys, and i get none. They always make snide comments about how I get no male attention and it really upsets me. It seem unfair that I'm always single simply because I can be quiet and have less confidence with them. I'm in my early 20s so it can't be a coinsidence. What can I do to change things?
you remind me a bit of myself. I was never too shy normally, except around guys. Or i'd tell myself I wouldn't be shy and just get it over with and ask them out to the cinema or what not... and always end up just coming across as weird or something, i don't know.
i never had a kiss or a boyfriend until I was 19 or a boyfriend until I was 20. Basically all happened at uni.

If your so called 'friends' are making nasty comments about you not having male attention, i think it is because they are jealous of your looks and are trying to make themselves feel good about themselves. In all ways they are worse than you, except that they get guys. So they try to rub that in as much as possible? They don't sound like nice friends to me. And it seems those guys who talk to you agree, your friends don't have nice personalites. Find better friends! Ones who will be supportive and give you good advice on guys, not ones who will hold you back. Maybe they go behind your back and tell guys who fancy you that you are strange and that they should stay away from you. May sound paranoid, but that's exactly what happened to me when I first came to uni and got in with the wrong people.

Being shy is not such a bad thing when you're a girl. But I'll try to give you some advice here, though I don't know if it is applicable to you or not. It's hard, because I don't know anything about you at all, i can only tell you what helped me in a way...

it helped me to make more of an effort with my appearance. i always did my hair, wore make up and spent money on clothes... but, eh, it was the wrong make up the wrong hair style and the aweful clothes. Looking back now, I can see I did it all wrong. But that's what being a teenager is about some times :o: .
so, you might ask a friend (who is nice and always looks stunning and natural, not caked up) to give you some style and make up tips.

One of the reasons this helps is that if you dress to impress the guys, they notice. it says to them: this girl wants your attention, look at her, isn't she nice? rather than: i'm shy, so I dress in a grey sack, not interested in you, I'm obviously a nun.
if you look like you are trying to attract a guy, then you don't need to go up to them and do anything, you can remain exactly who you are, which is very important. Don't change your personality! But let guys know you are interested simply by what you wear. That doesn't mean dress like a slut or sexily, just means dress nicely and confidently and nice make up.

And don't worry that people will wonder why you are changing your clothes, why you are doing this differently etc.
i used to worry about that kind of thing. I tried to be who people expected me to be. Then i realised... to be honest, people really don't care at all. They care about themselves and are selfcentred most of the time. They won't spend ages thinking about why you changed your style. most that'll happen is that they'll notice, compliment you on it and then wonder what they should eat for lunch.
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c_mour
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#14
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I am put off by shyness because i don't have a clue how they are going to react to me, tried it on once with a shy girl and i got the immpression she didn't like me because she wasn't very talkative or 'active'-as in wouldn't dance unless all her friends were there with her. it was an epic fail because she was so attractive and kept on throwing me glances and the occasional smile for the rest of the colledge year, i wish i had tried harder. bottom line is there are probably some guys crazy about you but don't know how to approach you, perhaps you could try being more inviting with them and make conversation with one. if not by the sounds of it they are the ones missing out , i'm oviously a bit younger than you so don't get mad at me if it doesn't work hehe!
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kat2pult
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#15
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Try making males friends first - you can't run before you can walk!



Btw - even if you're being honest about your friends and quoting what others have said, I don't think you should be comparing yourself to them. They seem to be happy in their skin, regardless of their looks and personality. You don't.
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Anonymous #1
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(Original post by insanetothebrain)
Much more approachable.
Do you mean that I would be more approachable if the friends I went out with weren't ugly? How do you think this would help? To be honest I've noticed that when I'm with my better looking friends, I do get more attention from guys, but I thought this was a coinsidence.
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Irtiza
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You seem fine.

Just become more condifent with boys, they want a girlfriend as much as you want a boyfriend.
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Makka_mooon
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I think uglier friends make the cutest one stand out more. Like if you saw Angelina Jolie next to 4 20 stone biker women, she'd look alot better than if you put her up against women of equal beauty.
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fizzycolabottle
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I didn't get my first proper boyfriend until I was 19 and prior to that not that many people had asked me out becuase I, like you, was also very shy. But then when I got to uni I decided to fake it (as in confidence) and after having had little to no male attention, suddenly I got a flurry of offers. I also started dressing better.

seriously, fake it. and dress "classicly chic/classic with a twist" (i don't know how other ppl refer to it). basically, dress 'normal' but have one or two special touches of your own e.g. a clashing pair of shoes, a trendy handbag, put a tank on top of a white shirt etc. Apparently guys like it when a girl can add spice to an outfit without going overboard.
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Anonymous #1
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(Original post by Adarah)

If your so called 'friends' are making nasty comments about you not having male attention, i think it is because they are jealous of your looks and are trying to make themselves feel good about themselves. In all ways they are worse than you, except that they get guys. So they try to rub that in as much as possible?
Thank you for your reply, it's been really helpful. I think you might be right about this. A few of my other friends who kind of know the girls I mentioned have said that it's really obvious they are jealous of me because a lot of people say I'm pretty with a nice personality, and they often get called insulting names. They have actually started rumours about me, saying that the only reason I'm slim is because I make myself sick after meals, and that I sneak off to the gym everyday and pretend I'm doing something else (these aren't true at all). It just upsets me that they have to put me down to make themselves feel better. But because I'm sensitive their comments upset me.


(Original post by Adarah)
it helped me to make more of an effort with my appearance. i always did my hair, wore make up and spent money on clothes... but, eh, it was the wrong make up the wrong hair style and the aweful clothes. Looking back now, I can see I did it all wrong. But that's what being a teenager is about some times :o: .
so, you might ask a friend (who is nice and always looks stunning and natural, not caked up) to give you some style and make up tips.
The thing is, I already make effort with my appearance. I have done quite a lot of part-time modelling in the last few years so I have picked up good tips on make-up and hair, and girls at uni always asked me to do their make up for them before nights out. I am sure that my problem is because of my lack of confidence with guys. A couple of years ago a guy I knew at uni told me, when he was drunk, that his friends all think that I'm hot but unapproachable because I'm too reserved and shy. This really upset me because at the end of the day, personality is the most important thing. I don't even care about having a good-looking boyfriend at all, I only really care about personality.
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