The Student Room Group

What to do?

My crush is using me for nudes for his self-pleasure. I can tell he's using me because everytime I try to talk to him he never replies. Yesterday, I asked him,"Can you tell me more about yourself?" and he said,"Maybe if you send me nudes." Now today, he said,"I'm sorry but I don't want any nudes." and I feel like that he has found somebody else for he can send nudes to. I'm so sad. :frown:

Scroll to see replies

Reply 1
I literally told him how I felt and he opened it.
yeah he sounds like a player, I would not talk to him again, even if he messages you
Nudes are something special- you're showing your body- so a guy should have put effort in before you send them
Don't trust guys that easily, definitely give it time next time before sending anything or things like this will happen

Also think about why he is your crush, do you like his actions? or is he your crush just because of looks?
What has he done for you to actually have a crush on him?
Being hot isn't something guys do for anyone specifically, it has to be some actions
Reply 3
Original post by Anonymous
yeah he sounds like a player, I would not talk to him again, even if he messages you
Nudes are something special- you're showing your body- so a guy should have put effort in before you send them
Don't trust guys that easily, definitely give it time next time before sending anything or things like this will happen

Also think about why he is your crush, do you like his actions? or is he your crush just because of looks?
What has he done for you to actually have a crush on him?
Being hot isn't something guys do for anyone specifically, it has to be some actions

I like him because he's really funny. It just hurts that he NEVER wants to get to know me. I've asked him out and he said,"Hell no!" The next day he asked me for nudes. Honestly idk why it also hurts because it's like he doesn't want nudes on me because he found somebody else. He is very trustworthy but the thing is he's just using me. I've knewn him since about the end of last August. He would always ask me for pictures and ****. It always felt like I can trust him with my pictures and I had a sense of validation. I felt like I could trust him and I felt a bond between us even though he doesn't like me. He really does do this sometimes and goes weeks without talking to me. I have no idea but he won't awnser me. I told him,"So you used me?" and he left me on read. :frown:
been on a similar situation to you but please trust me - he’s not good for you.

he’s made no effort to get to know you and the only time he wants to talk, is if you send nudes. this is not healthy, please don’t do it.

i know it’s hard and you feel like you really like him, but there are far better people than a teenage boy who only wants nudes.

he’s made it clear that he doesn’t want a relationship and is using you for pictures. please see this. it’s great that you can trust each other, but don’t see that as him wanting a relationship. teenage boys are hormonal and nudes are the best things to them haha!

he has used you, yes. and that really sucks. but please don’t go back to him. you are worthy of someone far better than him.

i hope you’re okay :smile:
Original post by Anonymous
I like him because he's really funny. It just hurts that he NEVER wants to get to know me. I've asked him out and he said,"Hell no!" The next day he asked me for nudes. Honestly idk why it also hurts because it's like he doesn't want nudes on me because he found somebody else. He is very trustworthy but the thing is he's just using me. I've knewn him since about the end of last August. He would always ask me for pictures and ****. It always felt like I can trust him with my pictures and I had a sense of validation. I felt like I could trust him and I felt a bond between us even though he doesn't like me. He really does do this sometimes and goes weeks without talking to me. I have no idea but he won't awnser me. I told him,"So you used me?" and he left me on read. :frown:


What gave you the impression he is trustworthy?
Thing is a lot of guys are funny, but it only matters what he does especially for you.

He obviously finds you attractive as he wanted your nudes. He doesn't want to get to know you because he got what he wanted- nudes, so why put that extra effort in? If you said something like, before I send you anything I think we should get to know each other more then that would've worked! He would've either put that extra effort in, or he would've not bothered and you would've then known how he would treat you.

With the leaving on read, it's honestly because he can't be bothered. Loads of guys do this. Imagine you were a guy and you got what you wanted and you thought it was ok because the girl agreed to send you the nudes. Then the girl starts saying it's not ok and that it's using her. Can you see the problem there? This should have been not ok at the start.

With the someone else, I mean yes guys can talk to multiple girls at once. You guys aren't exclusive so he has the right to talk to someone else.

It's unlikely to work with this guy unless you leave it there and give it time. He might come back and next time make sure you let him know that he needs to put more effort in and get to know you before you send anything! He needs to deserve you!
Don't worry about it too much- guys come and go, you never know, you can meet someone tomorrow! Focus on yourself for now and leave the work to the guys
girl PLEASE leave his ass rn. block him, delete this number whatever. it's obvious he's just using you for nudes and he's a douche :/
Reply 7
Get a new crush. This one sounds like a piece of trash.
Reply 8
Original post by Anonymous
What gave you the impression he is trustworthy?
Thing is a lot of guys are funny, but it only matters what he does especially for you.

He obviously finds you attractive as he wanted your nudes. He doesn't want to get to know you because he got what he wanted- nudes, so why put that extra effort in? If you said something like, before I send you anything I think we should get to know each other more then that would've worked! He would've either put that extra effort in, or he would've not bothered and you would've then known how he would treat you.

With the leaving on read, it's honestly because he can't be bothered. Loads of guys do this. Imagine you were a guy and you got what you wanted and you thought it was ok because the girl agreed to send you the nudes. Then the girl starts saying it's not ok and that it's using her. Can you see the problem there? This should have been not ok at the start.

With the someone else, I mean yes guys can talk to multiple girls at once. You guys aren't exclusive so he has the right to talk to someone else.

It's unlikely to work with this guy unless you leave it there and give it time. He might come back and next time make sure you let him know that he needs to put more effort in and get to know you before you send anything! He needs to deserve you!
Don't worry about it too much- guys come and go, you never know, you can meet someone tomorrow! Focus on yourself for now and leave the work to the guys

Well the thing that made me like him is the way he compliments my body.
He is only looking for your body gal. Maybe is not interested in you in the slightest. Maybe he just to have sex.
But I am sure you deserve better than this. Please try to move on.
Or do you like him?
Original post by Anonymous
Well the thing that made me like him is the way he compliments my body.

Ok so you know there is definitely physical attraction. He will probably be back to ask you again at some point, but next time just let him know you need more effort- like getting to know each other/ going on dates/ seeing actions to show you he cares about you and maybe being exclusive before you send anything revealing again. The more effort he invests in you the less likely it is he will ignore you in the future and he is also less likely to invest that effort in other girls! Guys may talk to a lot of girls but they won't be working hard and putting all that effort in for everyone!
I would probably act like it didn't bother you much at the moment and it was just a bit of fun for you and if he comes back just start off with letting him know your standards :smile: Don't be scared to reject him in some things too- guys like challenges. By arguing now, all he can do is probably reassure you he didn't use you if he bothers to do that, but that's it at this stage. Just have to give it some time.
Stand your ground and not send nudes?
Original post by Anonymous
Ok so you know there is definitely physical attraction. He will probably be back to ask you again at some point, but next time just let him know you need more effort- like getting to know each other/ going on dates/ seeing actions to show you he cares about you and maybe being exclusive before you send anything revealing again. The more effort he invests in you the less likely it is he will ignore you in the future and he is also less likely to invest that effort in other girls! Guys may talk to a lot of girls but they won't be working hard and putting all that effort in for everyone!
I would probably act like it didn't bother you much at the moment and it was just a bit of fun for you and if he comes back just start off with letting him know your standards :smile: Don't be scared to reject him in some things too- guys like challenges. By arguing now, all he can do is probably reassure you he didn't use you if he bothers to do that, but that's it at this stage. Just have to give it some time.

Okay thank u! :smile: I appreciate you for giving me advice! I wish you could PM me for further more advice but we're both on anonymous :/
Reply 13
Original post by Anonymous
Well the thing that made me like him is the way he compliments my body.

So he has said nothing about your personality? That is not, as someone else suggested, a physical attraction; he is just pushing your buttons to get nudes.
Original post by Surnia
So he has said nothing about your personality? That is not, as someone else suggested, a physical attraction; he is just pushing your buttons to get nudes.

No, he hasn't said anything about that. But I wish he could. :frown:
Reply 15
Original post by Anonymous
Okay thank u! :smile: I appreciate you for giving me advice! I wish you could PM me for further more advice but we're both on anonymous :/

That is shocking advice. You are happy to hear it because it validates you thinking this guy likes you and you were right about him. There is no attraction. He just wants nudes, not a relationship.
Original post by Surnia
That is shocking advice. You are happy to hear it because it validates you thinking this guy likes you and you were right about him. There is no attraction. He just wants nudes, not a relationship.

Yeah, I just realized that today that he doesn't like me. The only reason why I sent him nudes is for him to like me but it never worked. Never knew why. Yesterday, he said,"Send me nudes." and I said,"I can't right now." and I didn't open the message until today and I said,"If you want I can send you them now." and he said,"Nah. It's okay." Soo yeah.
You're probably gonna be like"Wtf" But I'm 14 and he's 16.
Original post by Britannia006
He is only looking for your body gal. Maybe is not interested in you in the slightest. Maybe he just to have sex.
But I am sure you deserve better than this. Please try to move on.
Or do you like him?

I'm trying to move on it's hard because I like the way he compliments my body and says,"You have a hot body." It's just the sense of validation with him.
A decent guy who is looking for more than sex won’t ask for nudes. Move on.

Quick Reply

Latest

Trending

Trending