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    Hi,

    I'm hoping to go to university in a year's time, but the big problem is that I've never successfully achieved night-time bladder control. I've been down the medical route and seen various specialists but despite all sorts of pills, potions, nasal sprays and bedwetting alarms the problem remains.

    Some might say the obvious solution is to live at home, but as well as there being no decent universities near home for my subject I'm actually very keen to get away - it's not that I dislike my family, I just feel I need some space.

    There's one other complication, which is that however hard I try I don't get on very well with the incontinence pads the NHS provide. I find them really uncomfortable - also I usually sleep on my side and they tend to leak. Because of this I'm still using the old-fashioned approach of wearing washable items instead, which works fine at home but I can't see how I'd manage at university.

    I wondered whether anyone else has met this problem, or can suggest anything?

    Thanks for any help,

    N
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    maybe moving out might stop it? i dont really know, maybe the freedom of not been at home may help.
    Youve tried the medical things so i dont know what else to recomend!
    But i wish you all the luck at Uni!
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    If you've got your own private room, would it really be that much of a problem? Just keep a stash of whatever that you can wash as needed.
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    OP try doing the practical like making sure you don't eat/drink past a certain time maybe 7/ and making sure you go to the toilet at least twice before bed and if you don't feel like it just sit there a while.

    Also try getting a mackintosh (sp) which goes directly on your mattress and will prevent it getting wet.

    Also try getting your family to support you as it could be making it difficult for you to stop as I was in boarding school and was still bedwetting at the age of 14 and i was made fun of at school and at home
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    I'll get the simple question out the way, have you tried not drinking 2 hours before going to bed? It's a good place to start.

    Also the whole idea of waiting 30 minutes every time you need to go to the toilet will strengthen you up. Gradually you'll just be able to hold on.

    I don't have the problem but from previously doing long days with no toilets available I got pretty good at 'control' and noticed I never woke up in the night needing to go to the toilet, I'd just wake up in the morning desperate.

    Hope I helped in some way.
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    (Original post by FunkyNicole)
    There's one other complication, which is that however hard I try I don't get on very well with the incontinence pads the NHS provide. I find them really uncomfortable - also I usually sleep on my side and they tend to leak. Because of this I'm still using the old-fashioned approach of wearing washable items instead, which works fine at home but I can't see how I'd manage at university.
    Nicole, moving out to University is one of those things that you really have to do as a life experience.

    Expense aside, have you considered purchasing your own supplies instead of using the NHS ones (I presume Tena)?
    Also you might want to train yourself to sleep on your back - difficult at first but after a while it'll be more natural. This will make things much easier.

    I hope you get some understanding housemates.

    All the best.
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    Thanks for all the replies!

    I have tried the various not drinking and waiting tricks, but without success. I've also tried sleeping on my back, but always find myself on my side again when I wake up.

    Unfortunately Tena Lady as well as being expensive are not designed for heavy volumes!!

    Really my main problem I suppose is that I think I need to keep using my washable items, because they work well, but I'm not sure how I will wash and dry them discreetly at university...

    Nicole
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    (Original post by FunkyNicole)
    Thanks for all the replies!

    I have tried the various not drinking and waiting tricks, but without success. I've also tried sleeping on my back, but always find myself on my side again when I wake up.

    Unfortunately Tena Lady as well as being expensive are not designed for heavy volumes!!

    Really my main problem I suppose is that I think I need to keep using my washable items, because they work well, but I'm not sure how I will wash and dry them discreetly at university...

    Nicole
    To be fair, there'll be a number of people cleaning sick and urine soaked items mainly down to alcohol incidents and it won't be that noticeable. Just pick less busy times or use your sink if you have one.

    People are mature at uni anyway, I'm sure if any notice they won't really care.
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    My brother use to have this same problem. He went to the Dr's, various remedies and etc and nothing worked until he just stopped. Til this day he has no idea what made him stop, he just realised that after one week he hadn't wet the bed and he has been dry since.

    I honestly don't know what to suggest apart from maybe not thinking about it too much and seeing what happens, perhaps? . .
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    So long as you have your own room I would imagine you could hide it quite easily, just make sure you bring a basket or something to carry your sheets in.

    Maybe you could set your alarm every few hours so that you get up and go to the toilet throughout the night? Have you tried that?
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    When I was 6 until 9 I wet the bed. I remember it very clearly. The doctor said it was all tied into the fact that my dad walked out on us. (Prior to this I had been fully potty trained since 18 months old).

    So I'm going to ask....have you had any trauma in your life? Any issues as a child maybe that you haven't resolved with yourself?

    I remember very clearly what used to happen when I wet the bed - I would very very clearly dream that I was going to the toilet, sitting on the toilet, and having a wee.....but then I would wake up mid-wee and I would be wetting the bed. I could never understand how dreams could be SO vivid! I genuinely used to believe I was on the toilet.

    I don't know what made me stop wetting the bed - I just one day stopped. Internally made peace with my inner demons perhaps? It wasn't a conscious decision or anything. I just stopped having those vivid toilet dreams!
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    I'm aware I might sound completely stupid for suggesting this but would tampons or sanitary towels work? *Prepares to be humiliated*
    I never understood the female anatomy...
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    No, no traumas or anything like that. It's not that I was toilet trained and then went back, I've never been toilet-trained at all! I don't wet every night, but I don't think I've ever gone more than three nights without it happening.

    Nicole
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    I've been thinking about this some more, and I think the real reason I'm worried is more to do with what I wear than the actual bedwetting. Although it's true that pads don't work well for me, I also feel very nervious and insecure with them so I feel I have to wear my washable things. Problem is they look SO childish - so no matter how careful I am I think they'd stand out if anyone saw me washing or drying them.

    Although it might sound silly I'm really unhappy about the thought of changing what I wear... but I don't want that to ruin my chances of university. Help!!!

    N
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    this might sound really random, but when medical symptoms just have no possible explanation and resist all forms of treatment, it point to the possibility theres some psychological element to them. this can be true with genuine medical symptoms
    it could simply be that your anxiety about wetting the bed is exacerbating the problem
    I would always keep an open mind about that.
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    Try different absorbency pads, there are much bigger ones that fasten like nappies OR large ones that just absorb a hell of a lot, whether you're on your side or not. Also, try wearing a night dress but don't let it come past your waist in bed.

    Also, there are kylies you can buy that will stop you wetting your bed linen at night.


    I'd look into some form of counseling, since you're not incontinent at any other time... it's clearly not a physical problem.
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    well its a psychological problem if they have found nothign wrong, so i wd advise you go to your doctor and ask to be referred to a counsellor.
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    (Original post by FunkyNicole)
    Hi,

    I'm hoping to go to university in a year's time, but the big problem is that I've never successfully achieved night-time bladder control. I've been down the medical route and seen various specialists but despite all sorts of pills, potions, nasal sprays and bedwetting alarms the problem remains.

    Some might say the obvious solution is to live at home, but as well as there being no decent universities near home for my subject I'm actually very keen to get away - it's not that I dislike my family, I just feel I need some space.

    There's one other complication, which is that however hard I try I don't get on very well with the incontinence pads the NHS provide. I find them really uncomfortable - also I usually sleep on my side and they tend to leak. Because of this I'm still using the old-fashioned approach of wearing washable items instead, which works fine at home but I can't see how I'd manage at university.

    I wondered whether anyone else has met this problem, or can suggest anything?

    Thanks for any help,

    N
    Hard to know what to suggest... by the looks of things, you've been given pretty much every treatment for enuresis - I'm assuming you've already tried Desmopressin? (I suffered from nocturnal enuresis myself until I was 15, which was attributed to problems at school)

    My tips would be -

    Get 3 or 4 sets of the same bedclothes - you can then bag them up and wash them at the communal launderette. It'll just look like you want clean bedsheets

    Waterproof matress cover - They rustle, I know... but just pass it off as you being sensitive to Dust Mites (which those covers do actually help with ) if you ever have a friend over who sits on your bed. Same applies for a duvet cover. Have a waterproof duvet cover to protect the duvet and stick a funky bedsheet over the top

    Try not to worry - it's quite unlikely that you'll get found out. Everyone will be too busy with their own lives to figure it out.

    Have you asked your GP about alternative therapies, such as hypnotherapy? There's some evidence out there that indicates that it might be a viable solution.

    If you want to talk more, PM me
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    (Original post by Mad Vlad)

    Hard to know what to suggest... by the looks of things, you've been given pretty much every treatment for enuresis - I'm assuming you've already tried Desmopressin? (I suffered from nocturnal enuresis myself until I was 15, which was attributed to problems at school)
    Yes - Desmopressin is apparently very effective... but not for me


    (Original post by Mad Vlad)

    My tips would be -

    Get 3 or 4 sets of the same bedclothes - you can then bag them up and wash them at the communal launderette. It'll just look like you want clean bedsheets

    Waterproof matress cover - They rustle, I know... but just pass it off as you being sensitive to Dust Mites (which those covers do actually help with ) if you ever have a friend over who sits on your bed. Same applies for a duvet cover. Have a waterproof duvet cover to protect the duvet and stick a funky bedsheet over the top
    Thanks for the suggestions, but bedding isn't the problem - one positive thing about the things I wear is that they work well and the bedding stays dry.


    (Original post by Mad Vlad)

    Hard Try not to worry - it's quite unlikely that you'll get found out. Everyone will be too busy with their own lives to figure it out.
    I hope so, it's just unfortunate that the protection I use is quite distinctive.


    (Original post by Mad Vlad)

    Have you asked your GP about alternative therapies, such as hypnotherapy? There's some evidence out there that indicates that it might be a viable solution.
    No - I probably should, but I think to be honest I've become dependent on wearing protection to feel secure, and the thought of moving away from that scares me...


    Nicole
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    You never know,you might scare yourself into stopping :-) long shot I know!

    To be honest, you're saying the stuff you use is really distinctive, but I wouldn't know what it looks like? Perhaps I'm being silly here but I can't think how its so distintive people would know what it was if they didnt use it.

    If really is guessable, then I'd try things like wrapping them up inside a towel and putting towel in washing machine- it'll probs stay wrapped up so people wont see..actually better yet put inside a duvet cover and do the poppers up then no one would see that either! I've done that by accident tipped my sheet upside down and a load of socks fell out
 
 
 
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