Dating guy for 5 months. He won’t meet my parents yet! I’m upset

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Anonymous #1
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I feel like I’m worried that this means he’s not serious or doesn’t see me as long term. How can I communicate this to him. I have a lot of pride and don’t want him to think I’m being dramatic. However I feel vulnerable because it takes a lot for me to ask in the first place ( I’ve never had a official bf before even though I’m 25 and never asked any guy to meet my parents as they can be judge mental) ... so now I feel embarrassed and slightly rejected. Is there a way I can communicate this to him without him thinking I’m dramatic/ overeacting?
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NonIndigenous
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Did he give a reason why not?
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squeakysquirrel
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(Original post by Anonymous)
I feel like I’m worried that this means he’s not serious or doesn’t see me as long term. How can I communicate this to him. I have a lot of pride and don’t want him to think I’m being dramatic. However I feel vulnerable because it takes a lot for me to ask in the first place ( I’ve never had a official bf before even though I’m 25 and never asked any guy to meet my parents as they can be judge mental) ... so now I feel embarrassed and slightly rejected. Is there a way I can communicate this to him without him thinking I’m dramatic/ overeacting?
Really you are overthinking this. I did not get to meet my daughters boyfriend for well over a year. You have probably told him they are judgemental and something in your post tells me there is something they will disapprove of regarding him. ( For me - and I fully admit I can be a bit of a snob career wise - my daughters boyfriend does not have a conventional job and she knows I worry about that - but I have met him and he is delightful and he makes her happy which is more important )
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username5027880
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Have you spoken to him about it.
He may be scared, and remember sometimes meeting the other halfs parents, can be deemed as a statement of intent, is he ready for this step, or importantly does he want to take the step. These i feel are perhaps questions you need to ask him. Xx
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Xarao
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Why did you create another thread? You're being dramatic and need to grow up a little.
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JustOneMoreThing
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I think you need to create a strong foundation with your boyfriend before meeting your parents.

It doesn't seem like you've done that since you seem afraid to communicate adequately.
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username2393237
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You’re going to push him away if you keep being so intense. Let it go for now.
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annammielcarek
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I think this is something which is bothering you and so you have every right to sit him down and talk to him- the fact you came onto here shows that it is personal to you and that is completely understandable!
Tell him how much your parents mean to you and that you think it would be a natural progression for your relationship to go that way, if he still refuses than as painful as it is, it may mean that maybe you don't have the same set of values,
communication is key in every relationship so sit him down and talk to him - let him know that its something which would make you happy!
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Mr T 999
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Different people have different time frame when they feel ready meeting their partners parents. 5 months is still early in the relationship stage and you don't know everything about that person or whether or not you see this as a long term relationship. I think once you reach the 12 month stage you know the person well enough and meeting the parents after this stage makes more sense.
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CTLeafez
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(Original post by Anonymous)
I feel like I’m worried that this means he’s not serious or doesn’t see me as long term. How can I communicate this to him. I have a lot of pride and don’t want him to think I’m being dramatic. However I feel vulnerable because it takes a lot for me to ask in the first place ( I’ve never had a official bf before even though I’m 25 and never asked any guy to meet my parents as they can be judge mental) ... so now I feel embarrassed and slightly rejected. Is there a way I can communicate this to him without him thinking I’m dramatic/ overeacting?
How long have you been dating for? I didn't meet my current girlfriend's parents until 4 months into dating, and I'd consider that relatively early :P
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Allie4
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Definite red flag. But what were his exact words and reaction? Was it a straight out No or was it Not Yet? Did he give a reason why??
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999tigger
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(Original post by Anonymous)
I feel like I’m worried that this means he’s not serious or doesn’t see me as long term. How can I communicate this to him. I have a lot of pride and don’t want him to think I’m being dramatic. However I feel vulnerable because it takes a lot for me to ask in the first place ( I’ve never had a official bf before even though I’m 25 and never asked any guy to meet my parents as they can be judge mental) ... so now I feel embarrassed and slightly rejected. Is there a way I can communicate this to him without him thinking I’m dramatic/ overeacting?
Have you asked him why he refused?
He might see it differently than you-

You- marriage in mind- future fiancé
You- just introducing him to people who are important and feel a little more established in having a bf with no other commitments in mind.

Him- being dragged into more serious and fiance- long term commitment. Stays away.
Him shy.
Him Doesnt care- cant be bothered.

Ask him, make your own mind as for reasons and then you have your answer i.e relationship only goes so far- isnt as committed as you want.

To give himn some credit it varies between cultures and families whether its significant or not.
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Anonymous #2
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maybe its anxiety? i certainly wouldn't be quick to meet someones parents even if i liked them. meeting new people can be a scary thing
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Albdaeni
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(Original post by Anonymous)
I feel like I’m worried that this means he’s not serious or doesn’t see me as long term. How can I communicate this to him. I have a lot of pride and don’t want him to think I’m being dramatic. However I feel vulnerable because it takes a lot for me to ask in the first place ( I’ve never had a official bf before even though I’m 25 and never asked any guy to meet my parents as they can be judge mental) ... so now I feel embarrassed and slightly rejected. Is there a way I can communicate this to him without him thinking I’m dramatic/ overeacting?
you know you can just talk to him without arguing. ukno, like normal people
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physicsamor
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Bro my mum wouldn't even my partner until like 1 year in and it would be like a meeting outside the house, then a meeting nearer the house and then a short meeting in the house. It would probably take 3 years of meeting before she would let them stay and not hover around. That's why I don't like to introduce my parents haha.
That's if they were a guy, if it was a girl maybe 5 years down the line I'd introduce her as my wife so they wouldn't say anything lool
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jacketpotato
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It sounds like might have been ****ging off your parents to your boyfriend - telling him they are judgmental and so on. And probably also been making it out to be a big deal.

So, it's not really surprising that your boyfriend is reluctant to meet them.
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kekedoyouloveme?
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(Original post by Anonymous)
I feel like I’m worried that this means he’s not serious or doesn’t see me as long term. How can I communicate this to him. I have a lot of pride and don’t want him to think I’m being dramatic. However I feel vulnerable because it takes a lot for me to ask in the first place ( I’ve never had a official bf before even though I’m 25 and never asked any guy to meet my parents as they can be judge mental) ... so now I feel embarrassed and slightly rejected. Is there a way I can communicate this to him without him thinking I’m dramatic/ overeacting?
Aww, five months may be too short for some people, people sometimes wait like a year or even two before they introduce their s/o to their parents. But, I get how you might be worried about how he might not feel inclined to making the relationship progress than you are. Honestly, it's best to talk about it with him, together you can figure out when it's best for the both of you to meet each others parent's, that way you'd know his take on it. x
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