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Sexual abuse problem

1910ellie

I went on holiday last year to ayia napa with some friends from sixth form. While we were the there the lads in particular kept leaving me and a friend out of the group. By doing this they kept putting us in harms way. It got to a point where I had to say something because it was dangerous but they just ignored me. In anger I went outside to get some air, but when I came back into the club they were gone. After looking for 20 mins I decided to walk home, I know it was a stupid decision but I was alone and I really panicked. On the walk back I was followed by a group of guy and it happened. The days following I really couldn’t contain myself and i just couldn’t believe what had happened. The guys apologised to me and I just decided that what had happened needed to be dealt with professionally, even though I was still very angry.
After the holiday I thought everything was okay and because of help I managed to recover, though I still had some issues but for the most part my confidence had returned. But since then I’ve found out that the lads have been saying that what happened was my fault and that they don’t actually think it happened. I honestly don’t know what to do, the emotions I thought I got over are coming back and I just don’t know how to deal with this because of how much its hurt me. How do you think I should go about this?

Reply 1

Catherine1973

Sorry to hear this. Have you had councelling? I’d suggest doing that again.

Your anger is at the friends who left you it appears rather than the strangers who assulted you (I think it was strangers?) which could be misplaced anger but best to discuss with someone trained.
I suppose if you are blaming them publicly for your assault they will be definsive about it (and it’s the fault of the attacker not them or you)

Reply 2

1910ellie

Original post by Catherine1973

I’d agree but I don’t think I’ve ever blamed them, even after it happened. I was angry because of everything, rather than them alone. Thank you I think I’m going to go back to counselling.

Reply 3

Crimson7777777

Original post by 1910ellie

I’d agree but I don’t think I’ve ever blamed them, even after it happened. I was angry because of everything, rather than them alone. Thank you I think I’m going to go back to counselling.

I'm so sorry to hear this. If counselling doesn't work, or you just want to talk to someone not professional, feel free to Private Message me. I have to say i have unfortunately spoken to a few people I know in person about their own sexual assault experiences so not new to it. Hope you're ok, and here if you need :smile: