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Seriously in such a bad place right now :(
Help! This is probably going to sound like a million other threads on here but
Im such a mess right now and I dont know what to do.
Ive been with my boyfriend for about 2 years, and seriously it has been the best 2 years we get on so well and I thought we were never going to break up. The last couple of months we'd drifted apart slightly, but because we were so good together I didnt think it was a bad thing just a phase. I mean we'd been through alot together its not like it was one of those relationships that was just waiting for something bad to happen. Plus we were always so open with eachother I didnt think anything was wrong.
Well, up until yesterday that is. We met up with eachother yesterday in town and it was so strange, he didnt even smile when he saw me. I asked him what was wrong and he wouldnt say, so we walked to a quieter place and he made me sit down. He then just said 'I dont think its working anymore'. I cant even describe how shocked I was, I was literally speechless.
He then went on to say he's been thinking for weeks that he's not in the right place at the moment for a relationship, and that he needs to sort his life out etc. And at the time I was just so angry and upset, and thought he'd change his mind because he had been perfectly okay with me, not acting off with me and confiding in me problems he was having with his parents etc.
So basically I was really upset, and so was he, I mean we were both crying our eyes out and hugged eachother like 4 times before we left eachother. I stupidly that the thought in my head that Id be able to make him see how silly he's being.
He rang me later and was just like Im not going to change my mind this is the right thing to do. I just didnt understand at all. I spoke to mutual friends who've known us both for a long time and they were completely shocked as well.
I got absolutely no sleep last night, and was up most of the time crying my eyes out, my mum was really good with me and stayed up talking with me til about 2am. But I was just still so upset.
He came round earlier today and just left 15 minutes ago. And Im just so so sad. He's explained his reasons again, which are valid reasons and I understand where he's at. But I just cant comprehend him not being in my life anymore. I was so involved with his family and we had so much stuff planned. Im trying to hard to be grown up about it so I dont lose him completely but I feel so helpless. Its worse because its not like he's done anything wrong and I can hate him and move on from it. We were so good together and I cant make him see what a mistake he's making. I mean Im not just saying we were great together because we've broken up. Ive been out with people before and it was never like it was with him. It just feels like someones cut one of my legs off.
I dont understand how he's so sure about it all as well. Even today he kept hugging me. And I know its silly but I just keep thinking if he'd let me know something was wrong I could have somehow changed his mind. But he's just so sure about it all.
I just seriously dont know what to do, Ive never felt like this during a break up before. I know it sounds stupid as well but I just feel like there's no point to me even being here because he was pretty much my entire life
This is mainly just a rant, but it would be nice to know if anyone else has ever felt this bad during a break up. You know what its like, when its you in the break up it feels like your the only person in the world to feel this bad
Im such a mess right now and I dont know what to do.
Ive been with my boyfriend for about 2 years, and seriously it has been the best 2 years we get on so well and I thought we were never going to break up. The last couple of months we'd drifted apart slightly, but because we were so good together I didnt think it was a bad thing just a phase. I mean we'd been through alot together its not like it was one of those relationships that was just waiting for something bad to happen. Plus we were always so open with eachother I didnt think anything was wrong.
Well, up until yesterday that is. We met up with eachother yesterday in town and it was so strange, he didnt even smile when he saw me. I asked him what was wrong and he wouldnt say, so we walked to a quieter place and he made me sit down. He then just said 'I dont think its working anymore'. I cant even describe how shocked I was, I was literally speechless.
He then went on to say he's been thinking for weeks that he's not in the right place at the moment for a relationship, and that he needs to sort his life out etc. And at the time I was just so angry and upset, and thought he'd change his mind because he had been perfectly okay with me, not acting off with me and confiding in me problems he was having with his parents etc.
So basically I was really upset, and so was he, I mean we were both crying our eyes out and hugged eachother like 4 times before we left eachother. I stupidly that the thought in my head that Id be able to make him see how silly he's being.
He rang me later and was just like Im not going to change my mind this is the right thing to do. I just didnt understand at all. I spoke to mutual friends who've known us both for a long time and they were completely shocked as well.
I got absolutely no sleep last night, and was up most of the time crying my eyes out, my mum was really good with me and stayed up talking with me til about 2am. But I was just still so upset.
He came round earlier today and just left 15 minutes ago. And Im just so so sad. He's explained his reasons again, which are valid reasons and I understand where he's at. But I just cant comprehend him not being in my life anymore. I was so involved with his family and we had so much stuff planned. Im trying to hard to be grown up about it so I dont lose him completely but I feel so helpless. Its worse because its not like he's done anything wrong and I can hate him and move on from it. We were so good together and I cant make him see what a mistake he's making. I mean Im not just saying we were great together because we've broken up. Ive been out with people before and it was never like it was with him. It just feels like someones cut one of my legs off.
I dont understand how he's so sure about it all as well. Even today he kept hugging me. And I know its silly but I just keep thinking if he'd let me know something was wrong I could have somehow changed his mind. But he's just so sure about it all.
I just seriously dont know what to do, Ive never felt like this during a break up before. I know it sounds stupid as well but I just feel like there's no point to me even being here because he was pretty much my entire life
This is mainly just a rant, but it would be nice to know if anyone else has ever felt this bad during a break up. You know what its like, when its you in the break up it feels like your the only person in the world to feel this bad
I just wish so much there was something that would make me feel better now. Talking only does so much when you feel like all you want to do is be with the person your breaking up with!
I was fine when he came round, and tried really hard not to cry and be grown up about it all. But as soon as it came to him actually leaving I completely broke down.
Its so much harder when you've just not got a reason to be angry at the other person.
I was fine when he came round, and tried really hard not to cry and be grown up about it all. But as soon as it came to him actually leaving I completely broke down.
Its so much harder when you've just not got a reason to be angry at the other person.
Anonymous
Its so much harder when you've just not got a reason to be angry at the other person.
Its so much harder when you've just not got a reason to be angry at the other person.
I know exactly how you feel. You can't hate them and make your hurt less painful because you've got nothing to hate them for. (i appologise for my bad grammar).
Just cry, let all your feeling out and find someone thats not him to confide in. I promise you it seems like it will never be ok but it will stop hurting sobad soon.
Times a great healer
Hope your ok, P.M if you ever wanna talk
xxx
I recently went through almost this exact situation with my boyfriend, also of two years.
Except he didn't tell me in the park, he told me in bed at 2am, and left it hanging with no conclusion. Just that he didn't know. He, a week later, told me that he thought we should just end things. I was gutted, but like understood where he was coming from and knew I'd just have to try and get over it.
A few days later he did what I'd been dreaming he'd do - and said he'd made a mistake. We had a long discussion. He said although he'd changed and originally said he believed it was wrong for someone to have change back/change again to be with someone else, he was willing to do it because he didn't want to just throw away our two years without trying.
After making him promise me that if he ever started feeling like he was before he broke up with me again that he would tell me, we decided we'd patch things up.
Things were great; I was happy, he seemed happy. Then a week later he rang me up and said things weren't working after all. He gave a load more excuses for this - so many that it led me to believe, actually, that none of them were true, and that he was just searching for a way out because he was bored or something.
So I was left gutted, and bawling like a baby, again.
All I can say is a re-iteration of what others have said. Don't keep it all to yourself, talk about it as and when you need to. Keep yourself busy, to distract yourself from it. You can only sit it out.
Except he didn't tell me in the park, he told me in bed at 2am, and left it hanging with no conclusion. Just that he didn't know. He, a week later, told me that he thought we should just end things. I was gutted, but like understood where he was coming from and knew I'd just have to try and get over it.
A few days later he did what I'd been dreaming he'd do - and said he'd made a mistake. We had a long discussion. He said although he'd changed and originally said he believed it was wrong for someone to have change back/change again to be with someone else, he was willing to do it because he didn't want to just throw away our two years without trying.
After making him promise me that if he ever started feeling like he was before he broke up with me again that he would tell me, we decided we'd patch things up.
Things were great; I was happy, he seemed happy. Then a week later he rang me up and said things weren't working after all. He gave a load more excuses for this - so many that it led me to believe, actually, that none of them were true, and that he was just searching for a way out because he was bored or something.
So I was left gutted, and bawling like a baby, again.
All I can say is a re-iteration of what others have said. Don't keep it all to yourself, talk about it as and when you need to. Keep yourself busy, to distract yourself from it. You can only sit it out.
Whatever the reason for breaking up, when a relationship of that length ends it's absolutely devestating. Not so long ago, I was in the same kind of situation, although it was actually me that ended it (it's hard to explain why, but I really felt like we were arguing none stop and I just really needed a break and I kind of thought it would only be temporary, then he went and got someone else a week later, after three years...). But anyway, even though I had thought we weren't getting along, as soon as it was actually over I wanted him back, I cried non-stop and was a complete mess for awhile (like self-harm etc, seriously was a mess), I felt like there was no point in life, I kept thinking about him. Like you, it seemed like he had kind of been my whole life, I was incredibly lonely.
I also wished it would just get better right then, like when people said give it time all I could think was that I couldn't deal with more weeks and months feeling how I did. I wish I could say there is a quick fix, but there isn't unfortunately. Yes, you will be lonely, you'll feel empty and just really down, but it does get better eventually. I'm so sorry you're going through this, but I really do think you'll be stronger at the end of it. In a few months you'll probably feel like I am now, yes I miss him, and I still feel sad and lonely, but I don't cry all the time, I don't feel like there's no point in life. Hang in there, it's the only thing do to.
I also wished it would just get better right then, like when people said give it time all I could think was that I couldn't deal with more weeks and months feeling how I did. I wish I could say there is a quick fix, but there isn't unfortunately. Yes, you will be lonely, you'll feel empty and just really down, but it does get better eventually. I'm so sorry you're going through this, but I really do think you'll be stronger at the end of it. In a few months you'll probably feel like I am now, yes I miss him, and I still feel sad and lonely, but I don't cry all the time, I don't feel like there's no point in life. Hang in there, it's the only thing do to.
It sounds terrible and I went through something similar a while ago. It will take a while but just start filling up your life with as many (good) things as possible and keep yourself really busy. You won't have time to think of him constantly and will meet other people that make you laugh and smile. Part of the problem is that you did make him "your whole life", and now that he's gone you need to start rebuilding your life again.
well this all sounds terrible, and you haven't even got to telling us where you are yet. is it in britain?
I can understand how much pain you are going through hun.
When you get attached to someone this is what happens and it hurt's a lot. My suggestion would be he does still care about you since he is hugging you but he need's time and your support. Be his friend and be there for him and if he want's space please do give it and try texting him or calling him once or twice a week to see if he is ok.
Try not to stress yourself about it - I understand it's a fresh break up and it hurt's but I promise you time will heal all -hugs-
And as someone else mentioned keep really busy - you must do this other wise it's not healthy for you as crazy as this sound's I was very depressed last night and I went to watch Avatar all on my own and I came back feeling slightly better so try to distract yourself in many ways possible time will heal you I can gurantee you that.
When you get attached to someone this is what happens and it hurt's a lot. My suggestion would be he does still care about you since he is hugging you but he need's time and your support. Be his friend and be there for him and if he want's space please do give it and try texting him or calling him once or twice a week to see if he is ok.
Try not to stress yourself about it - I understand it's a fresh break up and it hurt's but I promise you time will heal all -hugs-
And as someone else mentioned keep really busy - you must do this other wise it's not healthy for you as crazy as this sound's I was very depressed last night and I went to watch Avatar all on my own and I came back feeling slightly better so try to distract yourself in many ways possible time will heal you I can gurantee you that.
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