Should I choose my bf or my childhood dream?

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borikarakasheva
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Hello! I am a girl from Bulgaria, about to be a 1st year university student and here's my dillemma:
Ever since I was a child I always wanted to study in the UK. That was the plan and nothing could stop me from it. I have always felt as if the UK is an amazing country, i love the culture, the history, the people... And now I have an already unconditional offer in uni of York for Molecualr Cell Biology.
However on 10th March i started a realatonship with this boy. He is also from my city but 4 years older and is a student in Germany. He was home due to the Covid and our relationship is graat. We have been together for 4,5 months now and are happy and I definitely cant complain about anything. So I dont want to lose our relationship and I consider studying in Germany instead of York.
Now all my friends, except ones who study in Germany ofc tell me it is insane to change my dream for a boy than ive been with for a few months because its not 2 years or sth long. My parents are on opposite sides - mum supports uni in UK and dad in Germany.
however i dont know - on one hand i want to continue my happy relationship with my boy, ut on the other I feel as if i really want to give up my dream for him then I should be sure that I want him to be the one , the person I end up with (because the compromise is too big). but im just not sure. I love him but i dont think we are soulmates or anything like that. Notsure if I should endup with him even tho im 100% sure our relationship will be a lengthy one. Im torn between my current feelings that are strong and reality.

So please, can you offer me advice thank you?
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paul514
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(Original post by borikarakasheva)
Hello! I am a girl from Bulgaria, about to be a 1st year university student and here's my dillemma:
Ever since I was a child I always wanted to study in the UK. That was the plan and nothing could stop me from it. I have always felt as if the UK is an amazing country, i love the culture, the history, the people... And now I have an already unconditional offer in uni of York for Molecualr Cell Biology.
However on 10th March i started a realatonship with this boy. He is also from my city but 4 years older and is a student in Germany. He was home due to the Covid and our relationship is graat. We have been together for 4,5 months now and are happy and I definitely cant complain about anything. So I dont want to lose our relationship and I consider studying in Germany instead of York.
Now all my friends, except ones who study in Germany ofc tell me it is insane to change my dream for a boy than ive been with for a few months because its not 2 years or sth long. My parents are on opposite sides - mum supports uni in UK and dad in Germany.
however i dont know - on one hand i want to continue my happy relationship with my boy, ut on the other I feel as if i really want to give up my dream for him then I should be sure that I want him to be the one , the person I end up with (because the compromise is too big). but im just not sure. I love him but i dont think we are soulmates or anything like that. Notsure if I should endup with him even tho im 100% sure our relationship will be a lengthy one. Im torn between my current feelings that are strong and reality.

So please, can you offer me advice thank you?
Always choose the other option to the relationship at your age they almost never end up married for life.
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dj_ad_1
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Listen u should just focus on yourself and what u wanna achieve in life. Don't let someone stop u from doing that. If u stay patient good things will come and obviously the right person will therefore come at the right time too
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theJoyfulGeek
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(Original post by borikarakasheva)
Hello! I am a girl from Bulgaria, about to be a 1st year university student and here's my dillemma:
Ever since I was a child I always wanted to study in the UK. That was the plan and nothing could stop me from it. I have always felt as if the UK is an amazing country, i love the culture, the history, the people... And now I have an already unconditional offer in uni of York for Molecualr Cell Biology.
However on 10th March i started a realatonship with this boy. He is also from my city but 4 years older and is a student in Germany. He was home due to the Covid and our relationship is graat. We have been together for 4,5 months now and are happy and I definitely cant complain about anything. So I dont want to lose our relationship and I consider studying in Germany instead of York.
Now all my friends, except ones who study in Germany ofc tell me it is insane to change my dream for a boy than ive been with for a few months because its not 2 years or sth long. My parents are on opposite sides - mum supports uni in UK and dad in Germany.
however i dont know - on one hand i want to continue my happy relationship with my boy, ut on the other I feel as if i really want to give up my dream for him then I should be sure that I want him to be the one , the person I end up with (because the compromise is too big). but im just not sure. I love him but i dont think we are soulmates or anything like that. Notsure if I should endup with him even tho im 100% sure our relationship will be a lengthy one. Im torn between my current feelings that are strong and reality.

So please, can you offer me advice thank you?
York is amazing and Russell Group, and if you love the UK you should definitely come here to study!

At the age of 18, 4 years is rather a large gap and you probably won't be together for life, especially if you already think you aren't soulmates. Also, 4.5 months is a really short time. You shouldn't throw away your dreams for somebody you've been dating for less than 140 days.

Also, you can just have a long distance relationship!
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NonIndigenous
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(Original post by paul514)
Always choose the other option to the relationship at your age they almost never end up married for life.
I was a bit torn until I read this. That makes perfect sense.

Culture in Bulgaria is quite different to the UK in terms of relationships. The vast majority of relationships at your age in the UK, never last. I don't know about Bulgaria. But I know Poland, which I think would be similar. People take their relationships a little more seriously there.

If he is 4 years older, what are his plans once he soon graduates? Do you even know this? You wouldn't want to move to Germany for him, just for him to ditch you and go elsewhere. Alternatively, he might choose to move over to the UK with you whilst you're studying there.

UK universities are also expensive. More expensive than Germany I think.
Last edited by NonIndigenous; 4 months ago
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Fermion.
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(Original post by borikarakasheva)
Hello! I am a girl from Bulgaria, about to be a 1st year university student and here's my dillemma:
Ever since I was a child I always wanted to study in the UK. That was the plan and nothing could stop me from it. I have always felt as if the UK is an amazing country, i love the culture, the history, the people... And now I have an already unconditional offer in uni of York for Molecualr Cell Biology.
However on 10th March i started a realatonship with this boy. He is also from my city but 4 years older and is a student in Germany. He was home due to the Covid and our relationship is graat. We have been together for 4,5 months now and are happy and I definitely cant complain about anything. So I dont want to lose our relationship and I consider studying in Germany instead of York.
Now all my friends, except ones who study in Germany ofc tell me it is insane to change my dream for a boy than ive been with for a few months because its not 2 years or sth long. My parents are on opposite sides - mum supports uni in UK and dad in Germany.
however i dont know - on one hand i want to continue my happy relationship with my boy, ut on the other I feel as if i really want to give up my dream for him then I should be sure that I want him to be the one , the person I end up with (because the compromise is too big). but im just not sure. I love him but i dont think we are soulmates or anything like that. Notsure if I should endup with him even tho im 100% sure our relationship will be a lengthy one. Im torn between my current feelings that are strong and reality.

So please, can you offer me advice thank you?
Always choose career over boys. Boys come and go, but this is a once in a lifetime opportunity for you to find yourself a good career. You have an unconditional offer which some people will kill to have. Go for the career. You'll find a new partner.
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Sam_R9
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Imo, you have to choose your childhood dream.

Everyone has a dream but not all of them get it.
In your case, you're lucky as you've got a really great uni offer. Pls don't lose it.

You never know what's gonna happen next. Some relationships don't last forever.
It's best that you focus on your uni, your childhood dream.

Good luck!
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Aminah T
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I would say to focus on your childhood dream.
Majority of relationships don't last forever when you are in your teens, and giving up on your dream for a temporary relationship is going to make you regret it in the future :yes:
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Ciel.
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(Original post by borikarakasheva)
Hello! I am a girl from Bulgaria, about to be a 1st year university student and here's my dillemma:
Ever since I was a child I always wanted to study in the UK. That was the plan and nothing could stop me from it. I have always felt as if the UK is an amazing country, i love the culture, the history, the people... And now I have an already unconditional offer in uni of York for Molecualr Cell Biology.
However on 10th March i started a realatonship with this boy. He is also from my city but 4 years older and is a student in Germany. He was home due to the Covid and our relationship is graat. We have been together for 4,5 months now and are happy and I definitely cant complain about anything. So I dont want to lose our relationship and I consider studying in Germany instead of York.
Now all my friends, except ones who study in Germany ofc tell me it is insane to change my dream for a boy than ive been with for a few months because its not 2 years or sth long. My parents are on opposite sides - mum supports uni in UK and dad in Germany.
however i dont know - on one hand i want to continue my happy relationship with my boy, ut on the other I feel as if i really want to give up my dream for him then I should be sure that I want him to be the one , the person I end up with (because the compromise is too big). but im just not sure. I love him but i dont think we are soulmates or anything like that. Notsure if I should endup with him even tho im 100% sure our relationship will be a lengthy one. Im torn between my current feelings that are strong and reality.

So please, can you offer me advice thank you?
your dream. boyfriends are disposable.
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Helianthuss
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I would chase your dream, and try long distance. I live in the UK and my bf lives in Germany and we manage just fine. Choose yourself over anyone and anything else sis
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Hellohsjakodsmka
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Definitely pick your career. You're SO lucky you've got such an amazing opportunity (well done on your unconditional offer btw!)
Relationships don't last forever, guys come and go. You'll find someone new dont worry! Focus on uni and your dreams for now
:goodluck:
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NonIndigenous
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(Original post by Fermion.)
Always choose career over boys. Boys come and go, but this is a once in a lifetime opportunity for you to find yourself a good career. You have an unconditional offer which some people will kill to have. Go for the career. You'll find a new partner.
Well, in my opinion, really good people are hard to come across, so if you find one like it, it may be worth a compromise. One advantage of it would hopefully be partnering up with someone supportive who actually helps you achieve your goals at the same time.

But 4-5 months isn't usually enough to gain that sort of insight into someone's personality anyway.
Last edited by NonIndigenous; 4 months ago
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Britannia006
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If you decide going to UK will not you be able to keep contact with him?
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borikarakasheva
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(Original post by Britannia006)
If you decide going to UK will not you be able to keep contact with him?
I will be able to, just don't know if LDR is okay with him since it is going to be for a long period of time (at least 2 years)
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black tea
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(Original post by borikarakasheva)
I will be able to, just don't know if LDR is okay with him since it is going to be for a long period of time (at least 2 years)
If the two of you are meant to be, you will make it not. If not, you will find someone else I personally wouldn't give up my (very sensible) dream for a relationship.
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Britannia006
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(Original post by borikarakasheva)
I will be able to, just don't know if LDR is okay with him since it is going to be for a long period of time (at least 2 years)
Ouch!
Get it.
But are you sure you really want to sacrifice. Your future for him?
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999tigger
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(Original post by borikarakasheva)
Hello! I am a girl from Bulgaria, about to be a 1st year university student and here's my dillemma:
Ever since I was a child I always wanted to study in the UK. That was the plan and nothing could stop me from it. I have always felt as if the UK is an amazing country, i love the culture, the history, the people... And now I have an already unconditional offer in uni of York for Molecualr Cell Biology.
However on 10th March i started a realatonship with this boy. He is also from my city but 4 years older and is a student in Germany. He was home due to the Covid and our relationship is graat. We have been together for 4,5 months now and are happy and I definitely cant complain about anything. So I dont want to lose our relationship and I consider studying in Germany instead of York.
Now all my friends, except ones who study in Germany ofc tell me it is insane to change my dream for a boy than ive been with for a few months because its not 2 years or sth long. My parents are on opposite sides - mum supports uni in UK and dad in Germany.
however i dont know - on one hand i want to continue my happy relationship with my boy, ut on the other I feel as if i really want to give up my dream for him then I should be sure that I want him to be the one , the person I end up with (because the compromise is too big). but im just not sure. I love him but i dont think we are soulmates or anything like that. Notsure if I should endup with him even tho im 100% sure our relationship will be a lengthy one. Im torn between my current feelings that are strong and reality.

So please, can you offer me advice thank you?
Obviously UK- you will only have one chance at UG degree, but plenty of relationships.
If he loves you and wants the best for you, he would want you to follow your dreams, whether they work out or not.
He can always visit you and you will see each other in the holidays.
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