Depressed, Lonely, No girlfriend, No job, Only my GCSE's as qualifications.

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Anonymous #1
#1
Report Thread starter 5 months ago
#1
Hi...

I'm writing this more to vent, and put my feelings out there than anything else. So, I finished school and got my GCSE's (very below average grades - ALL C's). Despite these grades, I still managed to get into Sixth Form (I live in the UK) which I was relieved about as I thought I wasn't going to make it. However, just 3 or 4 months into Sixth Form I started falling behind on work MASSIVELY due to lack of effort and motivation, which led me (3 months later, 7 months into my first year) to drop out. After this I didn't know what to do... Note that I have very high anxiety with meeting new people and new places, so I had no motivation / desire to get a job which has led me to this point... still... with no job... nearly 3 years after dropping out locked in my room everyday, lonely playing video games for the whole time. I'm extremely depressed. I've never had a girlfriend, I struggle to make friends as I am very unsocial, so the ones I made in school were strictly school friends, I never once went out with them to do things. All in all I'm lost as **** and honestly don't know what to do. I feel like a complete ****ing loser and a disappointment to everyone in my family.

As I said, I'm mainly am writing this to vent, but any advice which isn't the normal cliché **** which I hear everywhere I would appreciate it.
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ecolier
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(Original post by Anonymous)
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I don't know why "no girlfriend" is in your title. The last thing you want now is a girlfriend.

You clearly know where you went wrong ("due to lack of effort and motivation") so thing shouldn't be hard to rectify.

Pick yourself up, get yourself back in education, get a job, try and be as successful as you can and people will come into your life.

If you wanted a chat, many people on this forum will be more than happy to oblige but whinging about things and not doing anything about them is useless.

:goodluck:
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Sweet Heart bab
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(Original post by ecolier)
I don't know why "no girlfriend" is in your title. The last thing you want now is a girlfriend.

You clearly know where you went wrong ("due to lack of effort and motivation") so thing shouldn't be hard to rectify.

Pick yourself up, get yourself back in education, get a job, try and be as successful as you can and people will come into your life.

If you wanted a chat, many people on this forum will be more than happy to oblige but whinging about things and not doing anything about them is useless.

:goodluck:
No girlfriend is the first thing he must have
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ecolier
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(Original post by Sweet Heart bab)
No girlfriend is the first thing he must have
Someone in OP's current shape is in no way fit for a girlfriend, especially as he's never had one before

If he couldn't look after himself, how can he enter into a mutual relationship with someone at this point in time?

You shouldn't be looking for a girlfriend solely to be your "mother figure" or someone to motivate you or someone to get you out of depression.

Learn to love yourself, respect yourself and look after yourself. Then you can get forming relationships.
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Krood
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He said nothing about wanting to get a girlfriend to mother him. Its totally normal for him to want a girlfriend at his age and understandably painful not to have one.

I also think its harsh to judge him for not feeling motivated. That's a sign of depression. People don't choose depression. There's usually root causes of it, especially in the modern world. Its hard to clamber out of. Making someone feel bad for feeling bad doesn't help.

OP, the solace of video games can be a short-term means of self-medication, but is not a long-term answer as I think you know.

I strongly, strongly advise looking into CBT. Try to get an actual therapist if you can, though its hard. But you can self-learn the framework of CBT. This will help you discover a lot about your thoughts, feelings and behavior (which form a vicious cycle).
In short, depression makes a person deeply irrational, which leads to stagnation and self-destructive outcomes. But by learning to view your thoughts, feelings and actions with a bit of objectivity, you can start to break the cycle.
Seriously if you can do one thing, get a book on CBT.
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