meerkatking123
Badges: 13
Rep:
?
#1
Report Thread starter 1 year ago
#1
Can you mark my piece of creative writing and give me tips to improve.

My story:



Can you mark my piece of creative writing and give me tips to improve.
My story:
Calm, cold and silent the sun shone its lucent glow creating a halo of light on thepeacful atmosphere. From the distance. Titan like mountains protruded from the surroundings, presenting their superiority and mocking the insignificance of the nature around them. Clouds hovered above the modes of the air, welcoming the sins sanctimonious light in the nature around them. It was picturesque; mountains, hills, clouds and the sun failed the surreal environment alluring the surrounding and inviting the wildlife.

It's nothing but serene!


ON the surface,the verdant, green hills traveled from one place to another, making the surroundings vibrant and lively. Trees swayed side to side , as if they were dancing under the winds supreme control making it look as if it was a scene from a high budget movie.

,Meanwhile birds sang mellifluously, creating a soft musical tone and providing harmony to their neighbors flew above the surroundings and in the calm breeze of the air, being maneuvered by the uncontrollable power of the wind, Cows and sheep grazed on the surrounding of the luscious, green, grass and watched as nature presented its finest.

Why is it so beautiful?

There was 3 things to be seen; the lush ad lavish hills towering on the top of one another, the infinite number of mountains watching over the surroundings and the undisturbed lake-lake Bernard-which sat humbly at the bottom of the hills, resting and being accompanied by the soft glimmer of the sunlight. The crystal, cerulean lake immersed itself into the glory of the surroundings being a stop point for the animals to relieve their thirst. Under the thick surface of the lake swam the sea life. Fishes, crabs and jellyfish owned the radiant blue sea. Herds of fish swam on and on as if they wont going to stop.
0
reply
apples and pear
Badges: 12
#2
Report 1 year ago
#2
remember to proofread and check your punctuation errors
also capital letters and expand some vocabulary.
good writing on the whole, very interesting.
Experiment with other techniques as well personification, metaphor, simile etc
0
reply
meerkatking123
Badges: 13
Rep:
?
#3
Report Thread starter 1 year ago
#3
th

(Original post by selfmade student)
remember to proofread and check your punctuation errors
also capital letters and expand some vocabulary.
good writing on the whole, very interesting.
Experiment with other techniques as well personification, metaphor, simile etc
thanks
0
reply
TabithaFord99
Badges: 11
Rep:
?
#4
Report 1 year ago
#4
(Original post by meerkatking123)
Can you mark my piece of creative writing and give me tips to improve.

My story:



Can you mark my piece of creative writing and give me tips to improve.
My story:
Calm, cold and silent the sun shone its lucent glow creating a halo of light on thepeacful atmosphere. From the distance. Titan like mountains protruded from the surroundings, presenting their superiority and mocking the insignificance of the nature around them. Clouds hovered above the modes of the air, welcoming the sins sanctimonious light in the nature around them. It was picturesque; mountains, hills, clouds and the sun failed the surreal environment alluring the surrounding and inviting the wildlife.

It's nothing but serene!


ON the surface,the verdant, green hills traveled from one place to another, making the surroundings vibrant and lively. Trees swayed side to side , as if they were dancing under the winds supreme control making it look as if it was a scene from a high budget movie.

,Meanwhile birds sang mellifluously, creating a soft musical tone and providing harmony to their neighbors flew above the surroundings and in the calm breeze of the air, being maneuvered by the uncontrollable power of the wind, Cows and sheep grazed on the surrounding of the luscious, green, grass and watched as nature presented its finest.

Why is it so beautiful?

There was 3 things to be seen; the lush ad lavish hills towering on the top of one another, the infinite number of mountains watching over the surroundings and the undisturbed lake-lake Bernard-which sat humbly at the bottom of the hills, resting and being accompanied by the soft glimmer of the sunlight. The crystal, cerulean lake immersed itself into the glory of the surroundings being a stop point for the animals to relieve their thirst. Under the thick surface of the lake swam the sea life. Fishes, crabs and jellyfish owned the radiant blue sea. Herds of fish swam on and on as if they wont going to stop.
I'd suggest you focus on the basics. (1) write grammatically correct sentences (2) avoid repetition (3) cull the excessive adjectives (4) provide a point of view - who is describing all this stuff? And why?
0
reply
alan55
Badges: 14
Rep:
?
#5
Report 1 year ago
#5
I'm in the same boat. Good luck with your writing. I'm working on History Essay and I checked reviews about best writing services to help me with that task. I think it's ok to use a little help of pro writers sometimes to get good grade and save time.
Last edited by alan55; 1 year ago
0
reply
meerkatking123
Badges: 13
Rep:
?
#6
Report Thread starter 1 year ago
#6
(Original post by alan55)
I'm in the same boat. Good luck with your writing
thanks good look to you
0
reply
david1207
Badges: 4
Rep:
?
#7
Report 1 year ago
#7
I believe that If someone really wanna improve themselves in creative English writing then they should focus on reading English books, online articles etc.

As much you'll read, your language will get improved with time. That's what I have done overtime to improve my language.
0
reply
X

Quick Reply

Attached files
Write a reply...
Reply
new posts
Back
to top
Latest
My Feed

See more of what you like on
The Student Room

You can personalise what you see on TSR. Tell us a little about yourself to get started.

Personalise

What support do you need with your UCAS application?

I need help researching unis (10)
12.99%
I need help researching courses (7)
9.09%
I need help with filling out the application form (4)
5.19%
I need help with my personal statement (32)
41.56%
I need help with understanding how to make my application stand out (19)
24.68%
I need help with something else (let us know in the thread!) (2)
2.6%
I'm feeling confident about my application and don't need any help at the moment (3)
3.9%

Watched Threads

View All