My dad is controlling

I have just finished year 12 with the hope to apply for engineering at uni as I love the idea of working on projects and it combining maths and physics concepts to real life problems.

My dad is completely against this and says the finance/accounting route is a much better option (mainly for financial stability and career reassurance - I can't remember the right phrase)

He has convinced me to write a finance personal statement as he doesn't understand why I want to study engineering he thinks I'e made an impulse decision because I can't tell him a clear plan of what I want to do after I get an engineering degree.

At one point I thought I had convinced him that engineering was the right pathway for me and was a good career choice but he bursted into my room being very angry saying what is wrong me and that I have to write a finance related personal statement and apply for those courses.

I don't know if he is right. I can't disobey him either. I don't know enough about where engineering can take me to back myself up.

I'm just tired. Everyday I'm just fighting about what my plan is for the future. I just want to be happy.

I personally think engineering is better than accounting in terms of future prospects because engineering is pretty much a hands on job and is needed everywhere. As for accounting if you decide that you want to become an accountant after doing an engineering degree then it is always possible but not the other way round.

I agree... but how do I explain that to someone who shouts at me everytime I try to argue back.

Talk to him peacefully; in a calm tone.

I have just finished year 12 with the hope to apply for engineering at uni as I love the idea of working on projects and it combining maths and physics concepts to real life problems.

My dad is completely against this and says the finance/accounting route is a much better option (mainly for financial stability and career reassurance - I can't remember the right phrase)

He has convinced me to write a finance personal statement as he doesn't understand why I want to study engineering he thinks I'e made an impulse decision because I can't tell him a clear plan of what I want to do after I get an engineering degree.

At one point I thought I had convinced him that engineering was the right pathway for me and was a good career choice but he bursted into my room being very angry saying what is wrong me and that I have to write a finance related personal statement and apply for those courses.

I don't know if he is right. I can't disobey him either. I don't know enough about where engineering can take me to back myself up.

I'm just tired. Everyday I'm just fighting about what my plan is for the future. I just want to be happy.

I have just finished year 12 with the hope to apply for engineering at uni as I love the idea of working on projects and it combining maths and physics concepts to real life problems.

My dad is completely against this and says the finance/accounting route is a much better option (mainly for financial stability and career reassurance - I can't remember the right phrase)

He has convinced me to write a finance personal statement as he doesn't understand why I want to study engineering he thinks I'e made an impulse decision because I can't tell him a clear plan of what I want to do after I get an engineering degree.

At one point I thought I had convinced him that engineering was the right pathway for me and was a good career choice but he bursted into my room being very angry saying what is wrong me and that I have to write a finance related personal statement and apply for those courses.

I don't know if he is right. I can't disobey him either. I don't know enough about where engineering can take me to back myself up.

I'm just tired. Everyday I'm just fighting about what my plan is for the future. I just want to be happy.

I personally think engineering is better than accounting in terms of future prospects because engineering is pretty much a hands on job and is needed everywhere. As for accounting if you decide that you want to become an accountant after doing an engineering degree then it is always possible but not the other way round.

I have just finished year 12 with the hope to apply for engineering at uni as I love the idea of working on projects and it combining maths and physics concepts to real life problems.

My dad is completely against this and says the finance/accounting route is a much better option (mainly for financial stability and career reassurance - I can't remember the right phrase)

He has convinced me to write a finance personal statement as he doesn't understand why I want to study engineering he thinks I'e made an impulse decision because I can't tell him a clear plan of what I want to do after I get an engineering degree.

At one point I thought I had convinced him that engineering was the right pathway for me and was a good career choice but he bursted into my room being very angry saying what is wrong me and that I have to write a finance related personal statement and apply for those courses.

I don't know if he is right. I can't disobey him either. I don't know enough about where engineering can take me to back myself up.

I'm just tired. Everyday I'm just fighting about what my plan is for the future. I just want to be happy.

Well tbh if you can't do the research required to prove why you should be an engineer...then that is an issue.

What does he do? What does your mum think? It’s your life and you definitely shouldn’t choose a career because someone else want you to. There are no guarantees in life anyway.

Of course I have done research into it... why else would I see myself doing an engineering degree? But there are also reasons why my dad thinks finance is a better career pathway mainly for the money and job security also that it is more likely for me to be recruited for job offers as well, whereas with engineering it is harder to find that job security. That is his argument against mine. He works in the finance sector so knows a lot about it. I don't work in the engineering sector so how can I be sure I will get a good job in that sector. That is what I meant when I said I don't have enough to back it up. Everything I research or say he comes back with a stronger point and always has the final say.

Just off the top of my head base your argument around this.

1) the move to digital in finance, working from home requires less staff (as business learn to operate with less even post pandemic they won't rescale staff)
2) Brexit: the city of London will likely lose financial passporting due to Brexit cause significant ripple effect loses as the UK transitions from EU banker to smaller scale domestic flows of business with a few leaner trade agreements.
3) Broking; more trades are done online requiring less staff
4) Financial tech firms offering more obscure employment as big bulge banks become less and less

Reasons for going into engineering:
1) increases in government spending an infrastructure to offset the financial collapse (Projects like High Speed Rail)
2) A shortage of Homes in the UK
3) The lifting of many EU restrictions leading to a boom in the re-tooling towards a more green economy (requires engineers)
4) Engineers to drive innovation forward due to less EU regulations
5) Engineers often working in finance, IB, Management Consulting

Find people on linkedin with an engineering degree who work in finance for example:

Apjit Walia for example...did a degree in Aerospace engineering and hes high up Director & Global Head of technology and investment strategy.

The finance sector love physics and engineering graduates because of their modelling capabilities. So really you can still end up in finance of you do engineering. You should be able to find statistics on where students end up and with engineering you see that there's more options and diversity. At the end of the day, just don't tell him 😂

what you do at uni is up to you. nobody else should have i say in it. if you wanna do engineering you go for it because you’ll do great. talk to your dad and be as honest as possible. tell him why you wanna do engineering, future careers and why you don’t want to do finance/accounting. if that doesn’t work write a finance personals statement to show your dad but then write an engineering one and send that off. if you need help with anything pm me. i hope someone can comment something that helps in some way. good luck with everything.

Awe bless, I've been in similar too, it's important to try and understand why they think the way that they think. My parents are the typical South Asian parents who are strict, but, when I ask them why and why they push me to do certain stuff, it's because they want what's "best" for us, or in someway they want us to be better than they were, better off, better educated etc. Maybe try and pick some ideas so you could at least try and see where your dad might be coming from. If you feel like Engineering is the best, of course you're entitled to feel that, it's your life, you should do with it what you please, therefore is there anyone who can help you reach a compromise with your dad, i.e is your mum okay with helping you out? Or is there any way in which he may listen. Also if you apply for ucas, and you have that fifth option why don't you use that for Engineering, usually if they require a different PS they'd let you know by email, and you can just email them to the admissions office, your dad can't get mad if you use 4/5 choices for finance, that way depending on the offers you get, the courses you seemed most interested in or go to uni open days with your dad, maybe that would convince him or you to decide what is best for you. I hope this helps x

Hm.. Did you say something?

Thank you so much... I have explained all the reasons as to why engineering is a better option for me... he thinks I am just being lazy and just want to take the easy route that wastes time... even though engineering isn't easy so I don't know.

When I told him I wanted to do engineering I thought he would have been impressed but apparently not.

My dad said he is going to write his personal statement with me. I had already started an engineering one and showed him he said it was a waste of time. I was hoping to apply to Cambridge for engineering now that has been thrown out the window and I just don't know what to do. Juggling both will be hard if I want to go to top unis. Sorry for rambling. Thank you for your help