Would counselling work? Watch

Anonymous #1
#1
Report Thread starter 10 years ago
#1
My boyfriend and I split as I caught him out in emails and phone messages to another girl. I have cried loads and we met tonight and he finally confessed tonight the truth that he didn't meet her but sent messages as he felt neglected, disgusted with himself and unattractive because I had gone off anything sexual with him. I admit I didn't do much to sort things sexually and didn't listen to him when he kept telling me he was low - so that didn't help but I told im he shouldn't have gone on a chat line.

We met tonight as I didn't really give him chance to explain why I dumped him. He says he will go counselling if it means working it out. I said we both need to change, stop being secretive and go out more as we stopped going out to places altogether and meeting up. I have told him I need to think about it, I love him just don't know don't want to throw it away but also be a doormat. Trouble is my family and workmates know what has happened Would Relate counselling help?
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phones
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#2
Report 10 years ago
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yeah prpbably you guys just need to be honest with each other and tell each other what you are feeling
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Jingaling
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#3
Report 10 years ago
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I guess if it was absoutely necessary if you're both at uni you could use their counselling service, but to be honest it seems a bit like you both need to talk to eachother/soulsearch/figure out whether you want to stay together.
Counselling isn't magic and won't necessarily keep you together.
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mollymustard
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#4
Report 10 years ago
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Counselling doesnt 'work' and fix things just like that. People have to be willing to listen to the advice and change. Talking your problems through with someone can make them clearer or it can make them worse.

I think the best place to start is talking things through with each other, as there is obviously lots you have been holding back. He is saying he is willing to change the way he has been behaving, but will he put his words into actions. Thats for you to decide, but only time and a good deal of talking can usually sort these sorts of things.
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Anonymous #1
#5
Report Thread starter 10 years ago
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He has deleted his emails and the girl's contact but he still has the website profile - the profile expired this year so he couldn't contact anyone. He deleted the email for the profile website login and password so I don't know if he wants to forget about it, I feel like deleting the profile myself. Some people have said will things change and a break may be better.
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