I can't seem to make sense of life I feel like I have no purpose in life since I gave up on my dreams because I couldn't cope mentally and the pressure was too much. I have been on antidepressants and antipsychotics for 2.5 years now life hasn't been the same since my mind is usually very quiet and I feel mutual and I don't experience sadness with the same intensity but at the same time I don't feel much happiness either.
I don't know what to do with myself during the day besides cooking, cleaning and getting the groceries. I seem to spend a lot of time sitting and just listening to music. I feel like life is passing by and I am not doing anything. At night I become aware of my mortality and it scares me since I have no influence over that aspect of my life. I am scared of life passing by and I will be old and still miserable and my life being wasted.
I am currently waiting for therapy meanwhile I don't know what to do and how to cope.