social anxiety is eating me away

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bvllvh
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I am at a point in life where the only place I'm comfortable telling my problems is the internet. Profoundly alone and the weather where I live doesn't help either (UK). What started as going to my room to seek comfort whilst everyone else went out socializing became habitual. I found myself constantly avoiding people or places where I'll meet someone I know. It got so bad where I couldn't even go to our shared kitchen (living in student halls) cause I'd be embarrassed I cant cook and someone would judge me.
I avoided any new kind of experience...clubbing drinking etc. If only when things where normal i socialized more....maybe I'd never be this insanely isolated living in an empty student hall.
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I feel the same way. One method I find successful at times is...

Try to not give a ****, atleast for a brief moment, who cares if she says no, she isn't a literal goddess. Try to let go of your own ego and your past. Be in the moment and just go with the flow. At times I take this too far and become emotionless, not caring enough.

Another good method is NOT WAITING to talk to your crush or saying what you want to say, give yourself a time limit (3 days). The longer you wait to say something, the more nervous you'll get

I know it's not the best advice, i wouldn't be in this subreddit if I felt the same way... Just think about how relieved you'll feel. In the end you'll regret not saying anything more than saying the wrong thing.
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xoxAngel_Kxox
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I have social anxiety, so I know how this feels. As hard as it might sound, you have to deal with it. I'd advise seeing your GP and perhaps seeing a counsellor. Also, you have to force yourself to do things. Not massive things, but like, going into your kitchen to grab a snack when someone else might be there. It'll be over in a matter of seconds. Or go out for a walk and ask someone for the time. It's a tiny thing, but it helps to build confidence over time.

The asking a stranger for the time thing I struggled with massively, but the sense of achievement I had after I did it was completely unreal haha.
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Analyst89
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(Original post by bvllvh)
I am at a point in life where the only place I'm comfortable telling my problems is the internet. Profoundly alone and the weather where I live doesn't help either (UK). What started as going to my room to seek comfort whilst everyone else went out socializing became habitual. I found myself constantly avoiding people or places where I'll meet someone I know. It got so bad where I couldn't even go to our shared kitchen (living in student halls) cause I'd be embarrassed I cant cook and someone would judge me.
I avoided any new kind of experience...clubbing drinking etc. If only when things where normal i socialized more....maybe I'd never be this insanely isolated living in an empty student hall.
Practice makes perfect. You can try things like nlp, meditation, breathing, relaxing techniques.

I just 'do not care' and think nothing if I found myself to be in an experience if someone may feel embarrassed and zone out.

Hope this helps

1) Relax, imagine you're just observing or there as a traveller. For example, if you are on holiday, you go there to experience and observe the attraction, you're not going to get anxious doing that are you?

2) Smile, smiling in contagious.

3) Be confident, respect yourself, accept yourself, work out, wear good clothes, feel good, focus on your passions, know you are a good person who treats people well, you have got as much right as everyone else.

Think positively, be proud of yourself, do things that make you happy, remember your happy times, what makes you confident? What makes you proud? Do you have a skill you are good at? Do things like cooking, driving, learning that increases your confidence daily. Relax.

Have good posture, body language, improve your appearance. Be happy with yourself.

4) Dress well, have good grooming, hairstyle, have good posture.

5) Just say hi or hey to people in your vicinity, who cares if they don't say anything back?

6) Ask how they are, how's everything, what's the latest, what made them choose this course, their plans for the future, their plans for the rest of the day, weekend, how was their weekend, what they will get up to, what they got up to, ask them about their hobbies, talk about what's happening.

Talk about the weather or did you see that sports game? Just mingle with them,

Compliment them, say "I like your jacket".

If you know they went on a holiday or somewhere, ask them about it etc.

7) Be passionate about life.

8) Lighten up, have a laugh, laugh easily, be friendly, approachable, interested, relaxed.
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bvllvh
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(Original post by Analyst89)
Practice makes perfect. You can try things like nlp, meditation, breathing, relaxing techniques.

I just 'do not care' and think nothing if I found myself to be in an experience if someone may feel embarrassed and zone out.

Hope this helps

1) Relax, imagine you're just observing or there as a traveller. For example, if you are on holiday, you go there to experience and observe the attraction, you're not going to get anxious doing that are you?

2) Smile, smiling in contagious.

3) Be confident, respect yourself, accept yourself, work out, wear good clothes, feel good, focus on your passions, know you are a good person who treats people well, you have got as much right as everyone else.

Think positively, be proud of yourself, do things that make you happy, remember your happy times, what makes you confident? What makes you proud? Do you have a skill you are good at? Do things like cooking, driving, learning that increases your confidence daily. Relax.

Have good posture, body language, improve your appearance. Be happy with yourself.

4) Dress well, have good grooming, hairstyle, have good posture.

5) Just say hi or hey to people in your vicinity, who cares if they don't say anything back?

6) Ask how they are, how's everything, what's the latest, what made them choose this course, their plans for the future, their plans for the rest of the day, weekend, how was their weekend, what they will get up to, what they got up to, ask them about their hobbies, talk about what's happening.

Talk about the weather or did you see that sports game? Just mingle with them,

Compliment them, say "I like your jacket".

If you know they went on a holiday or somewhere, ask them about it etc.

7) Be passionate about life.

8) Lighten up, have a laugh, laugh easily, be friendly, approachable, interested, relaxed.
Well said I will definitely try apply these concepts from now on...I've already started building the basic confidence by improving how I dress/appear
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