Double messaging to get her attention

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Anonymous #1
#21
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#21
(Original post by SoulfulTwist)
Haven't read the whole thing, but yes double messaging can get our attention
Out of curiosity, why would she reply from like 3pm to 11pm on Friday and not reply on Saturday or Sunday?
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Anonymous #1
#22
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#22
(Original post by LovelyMrFox)
You seem to imply that you are willing to rush a relationship just to not be single?
Nope not at all, I won't rush into anything, but when instinct is telling you that this girl has something about her, then curiosity strikes, at the moment i just want to talk to her as she seems very interesting and of course find her very good looking. It may be the case if the conversation continued then it might be that we have nothing in common. But i'm not rushing into any relationship even it seems that. I just want someone to show me an interest and build towards one
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NonIndigenous
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#23
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#23
Depends what your message is going to be. Don't send it for it's own sake, just to fill the silence. There's got to be some intent behind it.

Where do you want to move things? Steer it in that direction. If you live relatively near each other, that should be easy.

If you have some distance between the two of you, then trying to 'progress' things obviously becomes a steeper climb.
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Oxford Mum
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#24
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#24
She may be having her tea or watching a tv programme or talking to her mates.

Don’t hover over the phone waiting for her reply. Go and do something else to distract yourself from over worrying.
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SoulfulTwist
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#25
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#25
(Original post by Anonymous)
Out of curiosity, why would she reply from like 3pm to 11pm on Friday and not reply on Saturday or Sunday?
Weekends may be busy, family might have made plans, wants the weekend to herself, maybe relaxing and the last thing she wants to do is send a message and be going back and forth in messaging which may make it hard to relax, may be needing some 'me time' etc Many reasons tbh, could be anything.
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Anonymous #1
#26
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#26
(Original post by NonIndigenous)
Depends what your message is going to be. Don't send it for it's own sake, just to fill the silence. There's got to be some intent behind it.

Where do you want to move things? Steer it in that direction. If you live relatively near each other, that should be easy.

If you have some distance between the two of you, then trying to 'progress' things obviously becomes a steeper climb.
It was a message asking her what club she worked at, as there are several to choose from, so the intent is there. Problem is i cant send another one now, it'll just be to leave it.

Well to talk to further and eventually meet up and see if we connect well in person to then go into a relationship being the end goal. She lives in the same city as me, she hasn't replied yet.
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Anonymous #1
#27
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#27
(Original post by Oxford Mum)
She may be having her tea or watching a tv programme or talking to her mates.

Don’t hover over the phone waiting for her reply. Go and do something else to distract yourself from over worrying.
Well she last replied at like 11pm on Friday and its now almost 2 days later. Like stated in my other message i sent her another one today at like 7pm. But i've got work tomorrow so if she doesn't reply by tomorrow then i guess i'll move on, which sucks
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Anonymous #1
#28
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#28
(Original post by SoulfulTwist)
Weekends may be busy, family might have made plans, wants the weekend to herself, maybe relaxing and the last thing she wants to do is send a message and be going back and forth in messaging which may make it hard to relax, may be needing some 'me time' etc Many reasons tbh, could be anything.
All very valid points. If even it was for about 8 hours that we were talking on Friday, with the conversation being quite in detail and easy flowing, do you think there is likelihood that she'll reply again or is it a fact that she's looked at the message and gone - well i cant be arsed to reply to this now.
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SoulfulTwist
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#29
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#29
(Original post by Anonymous)
All very valid points. If even it was for about 8 hours that we were talking on Friday, with the conversation being quite in detail and easy flowing, do you think there is likelihood that she'll reply again or is it a fact that she's looked at the message and gone - well i cant be arsed to reply to this now.
I think there is a likelihood she would reply, just sometimes when you talk to one person for hours on end it can be draining. Even if you are a good texter. Even if you like the person.
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Anonymous #1
#30
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#30
(Original post by SoulfulTwist)
I think there is a likelihood she would reply, just sometimes when you talk to one person for hours on end it can be draining. Even if you are a good texter. Even if you like the person.
Very true, if you would estimate when should I give up hope on a reply?

I find it very interesting the two different perspective we have here as individuals.

How i value that conversation, led me to overthinking to look at her as someone that somehow released some form of chemical in my brain to make me think of her more then just a random girl on a dating app, which then leads me to making a post on a forum asking for advice, even thinking about what to double message her, hoping to grab her attention, because its a rarity for a girl to show an interest in me.

Her perspective is just another guy she spoke to, seems nice, but probably there are quite a few guys like myself that she talks to and its just the norm for her to have a guy talk to her about her interests. Never thought too much of the conversation and just got on with her day.

How bloody weird our brains work. Like when we were messaging i actually felt more happy. Bloody bizarre what a handful of hours of talking to someone can do to you.
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Anonymous #1
#31
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#31
(Original post by SoulfulTwist)
I think there is a likelihood she would reply, just sometimes when you talk to one person for hours on end it can be draining. Even if you are a good texter. Even if you like the person.
Update, after sending that message, she replied like 15 minutes ago, the downfall to it all she only replied with the last message i sent her and nothing about the other messages. From my past experience of this happening once, i'll reply and they'll never reply again. instinctively feeling here is she just replied off the cuff (once again might be overthinking that).
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kekedoyouloveme?
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#32
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#32
(Original post by Anonymous)
So I very rarely get attention from girls, not because i'm bad looking or weird. Infact, not even being egotistical (because i am quite modest) but i would say that i am a good looking guy, i'd say im above average intelligence, i can easily create conversations, i have a wide range of interests and i lift weights 5x a week and run 3 times a week aswell as picking a warehouse job just to burn more calories over the summer until i go back to uni, so i like to stay in shape. Saying all this i am quite surprised that the type of girl im going to talk about doesn't match with me on the regular.

I'll be honest my confidence has been knocked pretty hard with the matches i get, i believe everyone is attractive in their own way but alot of the girls i match with aren't what i would say attractive to me, but that isn't even the problem for me. It's the fact that these girls just don't create conversation, literally one word replies and it utterly baffles me as to why they are on the app and why they would match with me.

The reason that first and second paragraph is important is that i rarely get any attention from girls, infact i dont have a single DM from a girl right now. I understand that girls may not find me attractive and that they get alot of DMs. But when a girl who is attractive shows an interest i get very happy, i get an obsession as such, im very chilled so for me to have an obsession and wanting to double message a girl is out of character for me. So let me explain it -

We only spoke for like 6 hours and it was about 15 messages, but with the messages they were about 8-10 lines each, asking questions and interested in what we were talking about. We both shared a common interest of archery and axe throwing (I've never done it but she has). Once again for me a girl that i find very attractive and cute actually having a conversation with me is completely rare, whereas, to her conversations to guys most probably is just the norm.

Now we last messaged Friday night i was going to leave it till Wednesday and send her another message but i just thought that was too far away, so im going to send one tonight. The problem i have here is either i come off desperate and weird or what i want to come off as someone that is keen and interested on this girls interests. I think to myself that if i've got one life i shouldn't give up on someone after not replying once, atleast give it another go and put another message there to see if she is interested or not.

I understand that girls like her, who in my eyes is very cute and from her looks a girl that i would 100% want to date will get so many messages and my type of message most probably isn't out the norm. I'm just tired of talking to girls that just give me one word replies and just have no substance in their conversation, so when a girl that is very attractive and has substance in her conversation has a convo with me, i actually feel happy when they reply and start to over think the situation. I'm going to message her at like 8 tonight because i think (like stated before) Wednesday is just too far away. I know she is most probably on her phone and what not thinking nothing of the conversation, which is an interesting concept. But i really hope she replies to me because she ticks alot of boxes for myself.

Do you guys have any tips for another message, someone who is a girl, what do you think of this situation? Would you be flattered that someone messaged you again (you might have just forgot to reply and went on with your life) or would it just be too weird. I also understand we only talked for a handful of hours, but i don't know, i really wanna peruse this girl for some reason, something in my gut is telling me to
I think you're over thinking this, I doubt it would come across as weird, maybe what seems weird to you may not be as weird to someone else, but, then again it depends on how you will sound when you message her, my advice is to just play it of cool, and be casual, that way you won't throw her off on being keen. But, remember, be nice is well and a little bit flirty but, don't overdo it. I'm sure you'll get somewhere, it's only because like you said your confidence has been knocked! which is no problem it happens to the best of us, you just have to remind yourself you got this, and be present in the situation. Also tip: wait for her to initiate too that would be a good thing, if she does
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Surnia
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#33
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#33
(Original post by Anonymous)
What i'm saying is talking on a phone isn't a thing done anymore.
Of course it is still done! What's better; texting something funny and getting lol as a reply, or saying something funny and actually hearing that you've made the other person laugh. The spontaneity of actually speaking with someone makes it enjoyable.

You're complaining that you haven't had a reply for 2 hours. If you wanted a quick answer you could have called, but you seem to undecided about whether you are conversing or testing someone. If you've sent a lot of messages to someone who is busy, of course they probably won't reply to everything. Make your mind up what you want and don't rush to judgement.
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Anonymous #1
#34
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#34
(Original post by kekedoyouloveme?)
I think you're over thinking this, I doubt it would come across as weird, maybe what seems weird to you may not be as weird to someone else, but, then again it depends on how you will sound when you message her, my advice is to just play it of cool, and be casual, that way you won't throw her off on being keen. But, remember, be nice is well and a little bit flirty but, don't overdo it. I'm sure you'll get somewhere, it's only because like you said your confidence has been knocked! which is no problem it happens to the best of us, you just have to remind yourself you got this, and be present in the situation. Also tip: wait for her to initiate too that would be a good thing, if she does
Thank you, i'll just be myself when messaging, hopefully that'll be good enough for her! Aye, i am, she messaged last night and i sent a reply this morning, but she hasn't replied, so i'll just wait till she hopefully does again
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Anonymous #1
#35
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#35
(Original post by Surnia)
Of course it is still done! What's better; texting something funny and getting lol as a reply, or saying something funny and actually hearing that you've made the other person laugh. The spontaneity of actually speaking with someone makes it enjoyable.

You're complaining that you haven't had a reply for 2 hours. If you wanted a quick answer you could have called, but you seem to undecided about whether you are conversing or testing someone. If you've sent a lot of messages to someone who is busy, of course they probably won't reply to everything. Make your mind up what you want and don't rush to judgement.
I think with starting off talking not many people do that, but maybe when things start to look to get serious people go to facetime and calls.

eh it wasn't 2 hours it was 2 days and i know if i call her on this app it would be very weird and she'll just unmatch, i think your missing what my message is about, we 'haven't spoke that long for me to just call her
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Surnia
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#36
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#36
(Original post by Anonymous)
I think with starting off talking not many people do that, but maybe when things start to look to get serious people go to facetime and calls.

eh it wasn't 2 hours it was 2 days and i know if i call her on this app it would be very weird and she'll just unmatch, i think your missing what my message is about, we 'haven't spoke that long for me to just call her
You said ' "Which center did you go to? There's quite a few that look really good" (this was at 7pm today - still no reply at 9pm).' That was 2 hours.

If people message, then move on to calls, I think they are doing it the wrong way round. Coronavirus aside, how do you get to really know someone you just exchange a few lines of text wirh over a few hours? You don't get a true sense when someone has too much time to craft their answers and you can't read their body language.
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Oxford Mum
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#37
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#37
(Original post by Anonymous)
Thank you, i'll just be myself when messaging, hopefully that'll be good enough for her! Aye, i am, she messaged last night and i sent a reply this morning, but she hasn't replied, so i'll just wait till she hopefully does again
Well, she replied, which is brilliant! She could have not replied at all, eh?

Busy, popular, particularly good looking people do not spend all their time hovering over their phone, waiting for an answer. She may have a job to go to, tea to make, a TV programme to watch, having fun conversations with female friends (I sometimes used to be on the phone for 2 hours to be best friend, much to my parents' horror).

Keep going and don't be too demanding of her time. If the conversation keeps going, take it further.

The first conversation is always the most in depth anyway.
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Anonymous #1
#38
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#38
(Original post by Surnia)
You said ' "Which center did you go to? There's quite a few that look really good" (this was at 7pm today - still no reply at 9pm).' That was 2 hours.

If people message, then move on to calls, I think they are doing it the wrong way round. Coronavirus aside, how do you get to really know someone you just exchange a few lines of text wirh over a few hours? You don't get a true sense when someone has too much time to craft their answers and you can't read their body language.
ooooh sorry i got you, my bad. Trust me when i say this, at the start of a conversation that isn't how it goes. Of course later on when you've got each other social medias and things start to get serious then yeah, i do see where you're coming from and if i had to wave a wand i would meet up with her for a drink, but that isn't the case, i have to win her over with text first
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Anonymous #1
#39
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#39
(Original post by Oxford Mum)
Well, she replied, which is brilliant! She could have not replied at all, eh?

Busy, popular, particularly good looking people do not spend all their time hovering over their phone, waiting for an answer. She may have a job to go to, tea to make, a TV programme to watch, having fun conversations with female friends (I sometimes used to be on the phone for 2 hours to be best friend, much to my parents' horror).

Keep going and don't be too demanding of her time. If the conversation keeps going, take it further.

The first conversation is always the most in depth anyway.
Thank you i'll try me best, we only had a brief convo that night and i fell asleep and replied in the morning and she hasn't replied, i have 2 situations i can go down here -

I wait and just dont reply and if she doesn't reply again then of course move on

or

The one im leaning more towards -

Wait till Sunday evening and send her a message and just be honest and say something like, i know this may be very weird but even though we've had a small conversation there's just that really stands out with you....

This can go either 2 ways, either that she looks at it and thinks that it is full on and weird and is like nah not dealing with that. or -
She looks at it and thinks its very endearing, maybe she's looking for someone to build something with and doesn't get that type of message and it tired of guys just trying to shag.

If i go with the first option then like i said before i may have left something really good, whereas, the second one may deter her from messaging or may think well lets give this guy an actual shot.

Well boy, this is very out of character, i have really over thought this hahaha
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Anonymous #1
#40
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#40
(Original post by Anonymous)


Wait till Sunday evening and send her a message and just be honest and say something like, i know this may be very weird but even though we've had a small conversation there's just that really stands out with you....

~ there's just something that really stands out with you...~

This can go either 2 ways, either that she looks at it and thinks that it is full on and weird and is like nah not dealing with that. or -
She looks at it and thinks its very endearing, maybe she's looking for someone to build something with and doesn't get that type of message and it tired of guys just trying to shag.

~is~

Should have proof read that sorry
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