Double messaging to get her attention

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Oxford Mum
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#41
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#41
Well I would be very flattered if I thought a guy liked me ( who wouldn’t?) but there is only one way to find out, lol. Let’s face it there’s only limited amounts you can say about archery and axe throwing...
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ANM775
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#42
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#42
(Original post by Anonymous)
Well she last replied at like 11pm on Friday and its now almost 2 days later. Like stated in my other message i sent her another one today at like 7pm. But i've got work tomorrow so if she doesn't reply by tomorrow then i guess i'll move on, which sucks
(Original post by Anonymous)
Thank you, i'll just be myself when messaging, hopefully that'll be good enough for her! Aye, i am, she messaged last night and i sent a reply this morning, but she hasn't replied, so i'll just wait till she hopefully does again
You are loosing her.

Get her on the phone, then arrange a meet-up

stop faffing around with idol chit chat.

if a girl is not willing to set up a meet after so much talking then she is not into you. Period.


Most girls these days are too anxious to pick up the phone, but realistically speaking .. taking a phone call is a smaller step then going on a date, and if you can't even get this girl to pick up a phone then realistically you're not going to get her to spend an hour getting ready, fight through pre date nerves and second thoughts, hop on a bus, and spend a few hours of her precious time with you
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Anonymous #3
#43
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#43
Send her a message every hour, get detailed reports of where she is and what she is doing, add her friends on social media, gave someone follow her and report back to you...
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Anonymous #1
#44
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#44
(Original post by Oxford Mum)
Well I would be very flattered if I thought a guy liked me ( who wouldn’t?) but there is only one way to find out, lol. Let’s face it there’s only limited amounts you can say about archery and axe throwing...
Well i'll let you know how it goes on Sunday then! hahah trust me i could go on about those two for quite a while , link it to history > going to historical places > nature etc
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Anonymous #1
#45
Report Thread starter 1 week ago
#45
(Original post by ANM775)
You are loosing her.

Get her on the phone, then arrange a meet-up

stop faffing around with idol chit chat.

if a girl is not willing to set up a meet after so much talking then she is not into you. Period.


Most girls these days are too anxious to pick up the phone, but realistically speaking .. taking a phone call is a smaller step then going on a date, and if you can't even get this girl to pick up a phone then realistically you're not going to get her to spend an hour getting ready, fight through pre date nerves and second thoughts, hop on a bus, and spend a few hours of her precious time with you
That's just not how it works, if i just randomly call her, she's 100% not going to pick up over the app. But like i said to OxfordMum, i'll skip the idol chit chat and say how i feel about talking to her, if she digs it that we can progress on, if not then i just move on, but calling someone through an app wont work, like i said before when we start properly talking. Yes, then calling would be viable.
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ANM775
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#46
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#46
(Original post by Anonymous)
That's just not how it works, if i just randomly call her, she's 100% not going to pick up over the app. But like i said to OxfordMum, i'll skip the idol chit chat and say how i feel about talking to her, if she digs it that we can progress on, if not then i just move on, but calling someone through an app wont work, like i said before when we start properly talking. Yes, then calling would be viable.
what i meant was suggest if you can call her. and push to call her if necessary.

and yes you'll need to migrate from app to phone. however at this point if you ask for her number and she makes an excuse, again it's a major red flag and a sign she's not into you.

the jump from phone call to meetup, is smaller than the jump from internet chatting to meetup.
and like i said in my last msg, if you can't even get a girl to pick up the phone to you, how do you seriously expect her to turn up to a date for you?

honestly, you should watch some dating experiments.
After 2 or 3 messages a girl will give agree to a date meetup with a "hot" guy.

Look how long you've been messaging her.....
Ok you're probably not a "hot" guy, but a day or so is enough [if she's actually interested].

You're taking things too slowly and trying to "play it safe"
Well here's a good quote I heard the other day about that. "playing it safe, is the most unsafe thing you can do"

Flaking is rife with these apps. A few days ago I posted another link with stats on how women use Tinder. They right swipe on average 2.5% of men, and on average go on a date with around 2.5% of the men they've right swiped on. Start pushing for the date. These girls talk to like 20 people at a time, and have match rates ranging from 30 - 87%. You need to stop pussy footing around and nail down a meet.
Last edited by ANM775; 1 week ago
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Anonymous #1
#47
Report Thread starter 4 days ago
#47
(Original post by ANM775)
what i meant was suggest if you can call her. and push to call her if necessary.

and yes you'll need to migrate from app to phone. however at this point if you ask for her number and she makes an excuse, again it's a major red flag and a sign she's not into you.

the jump from phone call to meetup, is smaller than the jump from internet chatting to meetup.
and like i said in my last msg, if you can't even get a girl to pick up the phone to you, how do you seriously expect her to turn up to a date for you?

honestly, you should watch some dating experiments.
After 2 or 3 messages a girl will give agree to a date meetup with a "hot" guy.

Look how long you've been messaging her.....
Ok you're probably not a "hot" guy, but a day or so is enough [if she's actually interested].

You're taking things too slowly and trying to "play it safe"
Well here's a good quote I heard the other day about that. "playing it safe, is the most unsafe thing you can do"

Flaking is rife with these apps. A few days ago I posted another link with stats on how women use Tinder. They right swipe on average 2.5% of men, and on average go on a date with around 2.5% of the men they've right swiped on. Start pushing for the date. These girls talk to like 20 people at a time, and have match rates ranging from 30 - 87%. You need to stop pussy footing around and nail down a meet.
Well that is very interesting to know that happens because it kinda answers what has happened. So she replied Thursday night, she was away for a few days and didn't go on her phone at all, we talk for a bit and talk again quite a bit on Friday evening to night. She replied at like half 7am today and we have a few more messages. I then go to check on the app at like 1pm and see that she has bloody unmatched me.

I'm generally surprised that she unmatched me, it's absolutely crazy. I can only think there are 2 things as to why. Her getting attention from guys is normalized, like you said she'll be talking to about 20 guys probably just on one app, she gets to pick out of the bunch of who she wants to talk to. I was obviously left out to dry and it wasn't of her concern if she continues talking because like i said its normal for a guy to show interest in her life and she has guys at her leisure who will just talk to her whenever and who are most probably better looking than me too.

The conversation we were having wasn't even weird or boring or anything, it would be a conversation that was building on to something else. I'm actually quite sad that she unmatched me, i literally put all my eggs into one basket (not her fault, its mine), this is a thing that has been built up over years of either girls just ignoring me, not showing an interest, a girlfriend physically and mentally abusing me and a girlfriend who after we broke up decided to send me a video of her getting ****ed. So when i started talking to this girl i generally thought she was girlfriend material as she was super cute and seemed interested.

What fascinates me the most is perspective, i'll be brutality honest with you, this hurts alot lmao, it hurts more then me breaking up with a girlfriend 2 years ago (i went out with her for a year too). I only talked to this girl for just over a week. To me when i saw that she unmatched me, my expression literally dropped and generally sadness overcame me. Whereas, for her it would have been maybe she just wasn't interested, loads of guys are messaging her and they are just somehow more appealing than me and without even thinking about it, unmatched me, goes on with her day; and lets be honest, with loads of guys showing an interest, every lets say 30 minutes putting her phone down to check it and guys replying and she gets to pick and choose who to reply to, vs me who gets 0 notification all day, every day. I'll be very interested as to what she looks for in a guy and what the conversations are like. Not to be egotistical, but i will be, im a good looking guy, i work out very hard. Literally picked my job because i want to build muscles in my legs for longer runs. I lift weights 5x a week before work, i go to work, walk 10-15 miles a day and then 3 times a week run. I'm also going into my Masters this September, with the head of my course pleading with me to stay and get sponsored at my Uni to do it, i have quite a solid career option after Uni too, im also very family oriented (which apparently girls like), im very calm, chilled and nice. I'm a conscious human being, im not going to be evil or nasty to someone for the sake of it and finally, i'd say that i am intelligent in a way, especially when it comes to actually conversing with someone and having manners. I guess this just doesn't show in 6 bloody pictures of someone. But this has really got to me, that i work on myself so much to just be rejected like so, it really does suck getting your hopes up and dashed like that (its not her fault but mine and i know she can do what she wants too).

Now i know that i wont get any real interest from a girl for most probably months. This bloody sucks, i just want a girlfriend that i can build something with, someone that i can look at that is so god damn cute and just chat **** too.

It sucks that she unmatched me, but i guess thats just life and this time next month, lets be honest i'd have moved on and not be fazed with it anymore (hopefully) but thats how the mind works. I really hope that my luck changes, because i'm really starting to give up with dating in general and getting frustrated with how girls are treating me.
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FRS500
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#48
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#48
(Original post by Anonymous)
So I very rarely get attention from girls, not because i'm bad looking or weird. Infact, not even being egotistical (because i am quite modest) but i would say that i am a good looking guy, i'd say im above average intelligence, i can easily create conversations, i have a wide range of interests and i lift weights 5x a week and run 3 times a week aswell as picking a warehouse job just to burn more calories over the summer until i go back to uni, so i like to stay in shape. Saying all this i am quite surprised that the type of girl im going to talk about doesn't match with me on the regular.
I feel the first paragraph alone explains it.
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Oxford Mum
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#49
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#49
I feel your pain. Internet dating is brutal and very upsetting. I’ve given up on it myself recently.

With your masters and your regular gym visits ( plus your general niceness) you will be a real prize for someone. Just have a little patience.
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Anonymous #1
#50
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#50
(Original post by FRS500)
I feel the first paragraph alone explains it.
Explains what? Can someone not boast about their hard work? Or do they have to always be negative about themselves?
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Anonymous #1
#51
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#51
(Original post by Oxford Mum)
I feel your pain. Internet dating is brutal and very upsetting. I’ve given up on it myself recently.

With your masters and your regular gym visits ( plus your general niceness) you will be a real prize for someone. Just have a little patience.
It's very brutal out there, I guess this has dwelled on us humans for thousands of years...

I appreciate that and hopefully you're right and we both find a significant other that appreciates us!
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Oxford Mum
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#52
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It doesn’t explain anything to me, to be fair.
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Oxford Mum
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#53
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Well I have volunteered to go on a daily mail blind date thingy, so your wish has already come true, lol. Just trying to sort out my hair. Tried to dye it blonde and it has gone a bit orange. Hairdresser putting in some caramel lowlights for me to get it corrected next week
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