Arianamarie
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So me and this guy have been talking since New Year’s Eve. We hang out every Sunday cause those are our only days off. He tells me he loves me and everything but he hasn’t asked me to be his girl? So one day I posted a quote talking about being single and he got all mad but idk I feel like he only wants me for sex. Like we have a cute and fun bond and we always laughing together but when it comes down to messing around after that he like ghost me for a few days🤔I don’t know what y’all think?
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Anonymous #1
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(Original post by Arianamarie)
So me and this guy have been talking since New Year’s Eve. We hang out every Sunday cause those are our only days off. He tells me he loves me and everything but he hasn’t asked me to be his girl? So one day I posted a quote talking about being single and he got all mad but idk I feel like he only wants me for sex. Like we have a cute and fun bond and we always laughing together but when it comes down to messing around after that he like ghost me for a few days🤔I don’t know what y’all think?
Why don't you ask him to define the relationship? If he thinks that the two of you are dating and already boyfriend/girlfriend, then it's natural that he'll be offended when you say that you're single. If you're not dating, then you can either start officially or think of something else.
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Arianamarie
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(Original post by Anonymous)
Why don't you ask him to define the relationship? If he thinks that the two of you are dating and already boyfriend/girlfriend, then it's natural that he'll be offended when you say that you're single. If you're not dating, then you can either start officially or think of something else.
I tried but he says we ain’t yet Bc he’s to busy to make it official? but then when it comes down to him wanting to mess around he’s all like I love you and I’m so glad we together and all that bs but yet he don’t wanna be official. He always ghost me after he gets what he wants🙄
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pepsimaxcherry
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I was in this exact situation a few years ago!!

Honestly, sometimes it comes down to the fact that the guy is scared of a relationship. Some guys are terrified of commitment and they’re scared they’ll mess up in a relationship.
Other times it’s just because they want to fool around.

You really need to have a big conversation about it! Him saying he’s too busy doesn’t really make sense. You need to just say “I need to know what we are”. You don’t have to date straight away but you deserve an answer! If he says he’s not looking for a relationship, you can then decide whether to stay or not.

Try and get him to open up! I hope you’re okay
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Appirition
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(Original post by Arianamarie)
So me and this guy have been talking since New Year’s Eve. We hang out every Sunday cause those are our only days off. He tells me he loves me and everything but he hasn’t asked me to be his girl? So one day I posted a quote talking about being single and he got all mad but idk I feel like he only wants me for sex. Like we have a cute and fun bond and we always laughing together but when it comes down to messing around after that he like ghost me for a few days🤔I don’t know what y’all think?
(Original post by Arianamarie)
I tried but he says we ain’t yet Bc he’s to busy to make it official? but then when it comes down to him wanting to mess around he’s all like I love you and I’m so glad we together and all that bs but yet he don’t wanna be official. He always ghost me after he gets what he wants🙄
I've highlighted why he doesn't want to make anything official between you.
He expects you to be monogamous to him and thinks he can get what he wants when he wants it, then leave you alone till next time he wants sex.
How do you feel about FWB? If you're up for that and enjoy his company when you're together, that might be an option that suits both of you, BUT he has to also agree and accept that you are single and free to mingle. He can't have it both ways.
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Arianamarie
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You know at the time I didn’t really think about fwb because he was so good to me but like once we started messing around that’s when things changed and I realize that’s all he wanted.
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Appirition
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(Original post by Arianamarie)
You know at the time I didn’t really think about fwb because he was so good to me but like once we started messing around that’s when things changed and I realize that’s all he wanted.
I'm guessing from your reply on the other thread that fwb isn't something you're willing to consider, at least not with this guy. Maybe that's a good thing too, because you have feelings for him which aren't reciprocated, and potentially your feelings could get stronger the more time you spend together, which would make it even harder for you to move on later if you decided you wanted / needed a relationship with someone who has the same level of feelings for you as you do for them.

However, if you're not completely against fwb, maybe it's something you might explore and talk about with someone else in the future, possibly as a way of taking things more slowly to begin with, or as a way of keeping your options open until you find someone who you know you'd like a LTR with.
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Arianamarie
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(Original post by Appirition)
I'm guessing from your reply on the other thread that fwb isn't something you're willing to consider, at least not with this guy. Maybe that's a good thing too, because you have feelings for him which aren't reciprocated, and potentially your feelings could get stronger the more time you spend together, which would make it even harder for you to move on later if you decided you wanted / needed a relationship with someone who has the same level of feelings for you as you do for them.

However, if you're not completely against fwb, maybe it's something you might explore and talk about with someone else in the future, possibly as a way of taking things more slowly to begin with, or as a way of keeping your options open until you find someone who you know you'd like a LTR with.
Yeah I don’t really see myself being fwb with anyone tbh. I want a serious relationship but that’s basically What all guys want rn.
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Appirition
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(Original post by Arianamarie)
Yeah I don’t really see myself being fwb with anyone tbh. I want a serious relationship but that’s basically What all guys want rn.
Are you saying you think all guys just want fwb or just want hookups, or NSA?
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Arianamarie
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(Original post by Appirition)
Are you saying you think all guys just want fwb or just want hookups, or NSA?
I just feel like majority of the guys just want to have fun. I feel like they’re not really looking for relationships atm.
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Appirition
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(Original post by Arianamarie)
I just feel like majority of the guys just want to have fun. I feel like they’re not really looking for relationships atm.
It probably feels like that because of how you've been treated, and it's more prevalent amongst certain ages groups. Some guys prefer to have, or only want actual relationships though.
Do you mind if I ask how old you are? Don't have to say if you don't want to.
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Arianamarie
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(Original post by Appirition)
It probably feels like that because of how you've been treated, and it's more prevalent amongst certain ages groups. Some guys prefer to have, or only want actual relationships though.
Do you mind if I ask how old you are? Don't have to say if you don't want to.
Yes it’s definitely due to the age groups and my past relationships I just turned 18 a month ago.
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kekedoyouloveme?
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(Original post by Arianamarie)
So me and this guy have been talking since New Year’s Eve. We hang out every Sunday cause those are our only days off. He tells me he loves me and everything but he hasn’t asked me to be his girl? So one day I posted a quote talking about being single and he got all mad but idk I feel like he only wants me for sex. Like we have a cute and fun bond and we always laughing together but when it comes down to messing around after that he like ghost me for a few days🤔I don’t know what y’all think?
Well, if he's getting mad that's his own fault, he shouldn't ghost you or even lead you to doubt whether or not you guys are in a relationship. I think he just wants you to himself, but, he's free to do whatever he wants, a kind of have your cake and eat it too kind of guy.
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Arianamarie
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(Original post by kekedoyouloveme?)
Well, if he's getting mad that's his own fault, he shouldn't ghost you or even lead you to doubt whether or not you guys are in a relationship. I think he just wants you to himself, but, he's free to do whatever he wants, a kind of have your cake and eat it too kind of guy.
I agree! That’s why I gotta move on.
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Appirition
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(Original post by Arianamarie)
Yes it’s definitely due to the age groups and my past relationships I just turned 18 a month ago.
Unfortunately around your age, this type of behaviour is all too common. In terms of sex v's romance and relationships, guys around your age are some of the least mature of any age range.
Perhaps wait a year or so; maybe wait till you get to uni if you're hoping to go.
Alternatively, you might want to consider dating guys older than you as many of them are more mature and less likely to use you like you've been used in the past. People are frequently quick to condemn age gaps in relationships, and whereas I understand the 'different stages in life' argument, imo your experiences with dating so far are a typical example of precisely why some girls go for older guys.
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Arianamarie
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Well I’ve never dated anyone my age or younger then me they’ve always been in their 20’s
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Appirition
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(Original post by Arianamarie)
Well I’ve never dated anyone my age or younger then me they’ve always been in their 20’s
Some guys even in their young 20's still aren't ready to settle down or have serious relationships.
It might be that you've simply not seen the warning signs of guys who are only or mainly after one thing, or it might be that you're more mature than the majority of people your age, and in that case, you might want to consider slightly older guys, i.e. mid - late 20's (or older if you're ok with bigger age gaps).
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Arianamarie
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I will definitely try that. I feel like I’m to mature and I know what I want already I just need to find someone who’s all the same page as me.
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Allie4
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when he got mad you should have explained why and put him on the spot right there and then. you need to ask HIM what his problem is and why hes not making you and him official
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Appirition
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(Original post by Arianamarie)
I will definitely try that. I feel like I’m to mature and I know what I want already I just need to find someone who’s all the same page as me.
There's no such thing as too mature because maturity is both subjective and perspective, but knowing what you want already at 18 y/o does suggest you're more mature than most people around your age.
A lot of people are against larger age gaps in relationships for various reasons, but some people, their values, likes, dislikes, goals, and their lives in general are just more aligned with people typically from a different age range to themselves. Perhaps you are one of those people.
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