I feel like everything is a messWatch
I applied for a college course and they haven't got back, so I don't know what's happening. Corona has messed up results day, I don't even know if I can go to university etc. I was doing well in year 12, but had many problem in year 13 and was failing badly. I really wasn't focused.
I love driving but insurance for me is £2200 on a cheap car. I applied to jobs including ubereats deliveroo and Stuart but it's mainly "we're not onboarding". I applied to probably over 100 jobs and it's either rejections or no reply.
I want a car because I can use it to work and get around etc. I feel like it's what I need and I feel like it's something I need but haven't achieved. I don't have the money to buy one.
But money jobs and a car is the least of my worries. My relationship with my mum has completely broken down. We didn't have a good relationship before anyways my mum was abusive. I still have memories from when I was maybe 5 years old. It was mental abuse back then. But since my mum started cheating on my dad, I've decided she should just not be part of my life. I've seen how it affects my dad and I do feel sorry for him, my dad is much kinder than my mum and does not deserve it. But i do worry a lot about my little sister. She's 10 and I don't want her to be affected by my parents divorce. I'm 18 and can cope with whatever is thrown at me. But she's 10 and will need some help I know.
My grand dad (my dads father) passed away last year and it did have a big effect on my dad. And yet my mum was continuing cheating at that point. My grand dad was a great guy and I do miss him
Recently my brother was in a car crash. Thankfully he is well but he is also upset. Same family issues as me (he is my brother) and upset that the car is now written off. He loved his first car.
I feel like everything is a mess, there's no help for me and nothing is under control. And why bother?