Teachers told my Parents and now i feel trapped

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Anonymous #1
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Hey,

Basically things happened w my mental health and i was talking to a teacher about it, things escalated and they had to tell other teachers and then my parents.

My parents felt so bad. Like really really really bad. That i didn’t tell them straight away and that I spoke to my teachers instead.

I feel like I cant talk to my teachers anymore because I don’t know how much theyre snitching on me, and I obviously cant talk to my parents rn because of too many reasons to explain, and I basically go insane if I dont talk to anyone. How can I get rid of the guilt when seeking help?
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Blueclueless
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(Original post by Anonymous)
Hey,

Basically things happened w my mental health and i was talking to a teacher about it, things escalated and they had to tell other teachers and then my parents.

My parents felt so bad. Like really really really bad. That i didn’t tell them straight away and that I spoke to my teachers instead.

I feel like I cant talk to my teachers anymore because I don’t know how much theyre snitching on me, and I obviously cant talk to my parents rn because of too many reasons to explain, and I basically go insane if I dont talk to anyone. How can I get rid of the guilt when seeking help?
I recommend trying something online. They’re sworn to privacy (unless your life is at risk in which they’ll call police) and even if they wanted to they have no way to snitch on you

It’s a sad but realistic fact that teachers are not your friends
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bones-mccoy
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I think it's important to remember that the teachers will have only told your parents because they had concerns about your welfare, and your parents need to be aware for the exact same reason. A similar thing happened to me when I was younger so I can understand how frustrating it feels.

Everyone deserves to have help, it doesn't matter how big or small you think your problems are. I recommend speaking to your GP about how you're feeling and they can point you in the right direction regarding counselling services etc. There's always the option of talking to online professionals and self help websites if you prefer.
Last edited by bones-mccoy; 1 week ago
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Apzz
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(Original post by Anonymous)
Hey,

Basically things happened w my mental health and i was talking to a teacher about it, things escalated and they had to tell other teachers and then my parents.

My parents felt so bad. Like really really really bad. That i didn’t tell them straight away and that I spoke to my teachers instead.

I feel like I cant talk to my teachers anymore because I don’t know how much theyre snitching on me, and I obviously cant talk to my parents rn because of too many reasons to explain, and I basically go insane if I dont talk to anyone. How can I get rid of the guilt when seeking help?
if u feel that u don't want everyone to know what happened or what ur problem is just PM me we can just discuss it.feel free to text.😊😊
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Anonymous #1
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(Original post by bones-mccoy)
I think it's important to remember that the teachers will have only told your parents because they had concerns about your welfare, and your parents need to be aware for the exact same reason. A similar thing happened to me when I was younger so I can understand how frustrating it feels.

Everyone deserves to have help, it doesn't matter how big or small you think your problems are. I recommend speaking to your GP about how you're feeling and they can point you in the right direction regarding counselling services etc. There's always the option of talking to online professionals and self help websites if you prefer.
Thanks, this was really helpful. My parents don’t want to bring me to the GP because they don’t think there’s anything they cant deal with, and also because they dont want the government to get involved or something. I’m going to see the school counsellor once schools reopened, and I might continue talking to two teachers even if they’ll tell my parents because I think they have insightful things to say.

And yes, they did mention that they only told my parents because they were worried about my welfare.

Thank you so much
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GabiAbi84
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What do you mean by they don’t want to get the government involved?
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Anonymous #1
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(Original post by GabiAbi84)
What do you mean by they don’t want to get the government involved?
Not too sure, we come from a «*traditional*» family so they’re really not used to young people expressing mental health issues, and they believe that in the UK people will file my parents for neglect or something dramatic even when theyve done nothing wrong, which I think is a valid point. When my teacher brought up seeing a GP to my parents, honestly I was so relieved thinking that thered be a chance but nope.

Honestly fully relying on seeing a school counsellor.

I really wish they hadnt told my parents because the burden of seeing my parents knowing they know is soooo much worse than just keeping it to myself. Its so much easier to ignore yourself than to ignore your own parents when you live with them and love them you know?

sorry im just ranting now 😂
the guilt knowing my parents are stressing like hell has been really overwhelming, and so far ive been telling teachers and the counsellor but now idk if thats a good idea anymore

guess i have no choice
either contain it myself and die
or tell someone and have them make it a big deal and die
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bones-mccoy
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(Original post by Anonymous)
Thanks, this was really helpful. My parents don’t want to bring me to the GP because they don’t think there’s anything they cant deal with, and also because they dont want the government to get involved or something. I’m going to see the school counsellor once schools reopened, and I might continue talking to two teachers even if they’ll tell my parents because I think they have insightful things to say.

And yes, they did mention that they only told my parents because they were worried about my welfare.

Thank you so much
I'm not sure what they mean by getting the government involved but the government won't have anything to do with it. But it's good that you're willing to see the school counsellor, at least there is someone you can talk you
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mgi
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(Original post by Anonymous)
Hey,

Basically things happened w my mental health and i was talking to a teacher about it, things escalated and they had to tell other teachers and then my parents.

My parents felt so bad. Like really really really bad. That i didn’t tell them straight away and that I spoke to my teachers instead.

I feel like I cant talk to my teachers anymore because I don’t know how much theyre snitching on me, and I obviously cant talk to my parents rn because of too many reasons to explain, and I basically go insane if I dont talk to anyone. How can I get rid of the guilt when seeking help?
Ok, so you can turn this situation into something good by coming clean with your parents when you are not feeling great. Ask them to help you to get counselling! They actually want to help you thats why they felt bad; they didn't know! They want you to be open with them!
The other point is that if a student tells a teacher something that, by law, comes under Child Protection , they have to report it. It is part of their professional duty. Google it if you don't believe me.
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Anonymous #1
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(Original post by bones-mccoy)
I'm not sure what they mean by getting the government involved but the government won't have anything to do with it. But it's good that you're willing to see the school counsellor, at least there is someone you can talk you
yes thats true
and ive “explained” the goverment thing in another post here just now
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mgi
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(Original post by Anonymous)
yes thats true
and ive “explained” the goverment thing in another post here just now
You have a chance to build a fantastic open relationship with your parents which will helo you a lot! Some kids don't get any where near to having that chance!
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Anonymous #1
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(Original post by mgi)
Ok, so you can turn this situation into something good by coming clean with your parents when you are not feeling great. Ask them to help you to get counselling! They actually want to help you thats why they felt bad; they didn't know! They want you to be open with them!
The other point is that if a student tells a teacher something that, by law, comes under Child Protection , they have to report it. It is part of their professional duty. Google it if you don't believe me.
1) this message had such a positive tone so thank you 😂
2) my parents dont want me to be talking to anyone but them, which I guess adds to the guilt of me talking to teachers. Theres fear that they’ll tell my parents more, and theres the guilt that I cant be open to my parents either. Its a topic that we definitely do not discuss and Im kind of waiting for a safe time to talk about it because itll cause so much turmoil. My plan was to wait until I graduate or something where itll be easier to control but honestly my mental health is going rapidly downhill.
3) Yh, I get that they have to tell. My teacher was so hesitant as well to tell but she had to and I guess if i didnt tell her she wouldnt have had to. More guilt.


Guilt is such a damnnn disgusting feeling msjsodjis
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Anonymous #1
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(Original post by mgi)
You have a chance to build a fantastic open relationship with your parents which will helo you a lot! Some kids don't get any where near to having that chance!
Yh, I’m really trying to remember that. Its helps me feel less guilty about this because Ive realised that family comes first of allll and I’m really lucky to have good parents like the ones I have. Also the fact I dont have to hide my scars as much as I wojld have if they found out by themselves. It would have probably been more chaotic if they found out by accident rather than someone with authority telling them.

Thank youuu
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Anonymous #1
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(Original post by Apzz)
if u feel that u don't want everyone to know what happened or what ur problem is just PM me we can just discuss it.feel free to text.😊😊
Thanks ))
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harleynotquinn
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(Original post by Anonymous)
Hey,

Basically things happened w my mental health and i was talking to a teacher about it, things escalated and they had to tell other teachers and then my parents.

My parents felt so bad. Like really really really bad. That i didn’t tell them straight away and that I spoke to my teachers instead.

I feel like I cant talk to my teachers anymore because I don’t know how much theyre snitching on me, and I obviously cant talk to my parents rn because of too many reasons to explain, and I basically go insane if I dont talk to anyone. How can I get rid of the guilt when seeking help?
hiya,
first of all, i completely understand how you're feeling - its so hard to know the best way to seek help when you feel guilty about bringing up how you're really feeling. at the end of the day, although you might not realise it, your teachers are only trying to do what they believe is best for you, as would anybody in that situation.
in future, i would just talk to your parents about how you're feeling - if they're supportive and truly want to help you through this, they'll listen to whatever you have to say and won't judge you for it. if you're adamant on speaking to somebody other than your parents, even talking to your friends or someone else you trust who you know won't "snitch" is a good idea. unfortunately due to safeguarding its part of teachers' jobs to share information with parents if they're concerned about a pupil's mental health, but i do think that your parents should be willing to help you get through this if they really are as concerned as you say.
hope this helps!
h x
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Anonymous #2
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I am sorry you are experiencing this overwhelming stress. I know it may seem like a cliche, but I found that comparing yourself to others is a surefire way to negative thinking. Often times people’s lives are not as perfect as they seem on the outside. They may be facing struggles of their own. That being said, nobody but you has the right to determine what you should be proud of. I believe that taking pride in small victories helps make the larger issues in life more manageable. Completing university regardless of time and gpa is an amazing feat worth being proud of. Creating personal goals and sticking to them (regardless if they align with your family’s) is what helped me feel less overwhelmed when dealing with similar family pressure. I wish you the best.
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bones-mccoy
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(Original post by Anonymous)
yes thats true
and ive “explained” the goverment thing in another post here just now
I've just seen, but don't worry - unless there's signs of abuse or neglect your parents won't get blamed for anything. Plenty of young people struggle with their mental health yet it can have nothing to do with family life. It sounds like you have supportive parents, it's nice that you feel able to discuss things with them if need be
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mgi
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(Original post by Anonymous)
1) this message had such a positive tone so thank you 😂
2) my parents dont want me to be talking to anyone but them, which I guess adds to the guilt of me talking to teachers. Theres fear that they’ll tell my parents more, and theres the guilt that I cant be open to my parents either. Its a topic that we definitely do not discuss and Im kind of waiting for a safe time to talk about it because itll cause so much turmoil. My plan was to wait until I graduate or something where itll be easier to control but honestly my mental health is going rapidly downhill.
3) Yh, I get that they have to tell. My teacher was so hesitant as well to tell but she had to and I guess if i didnt tell her she wouldnt have had to. More guilt.


Guilt is such a damnnn disgusting feeling msjsodjis
Yes! What is guilt good for? Absolutely nothing useful!
Your turmoil and stress will continue until you sit down and have an honest chat with your parents. You will be fine.
If you bottle things up your mental health gets worse and often your physical health as well.This is a well known fact!
Forgive yourself! Don't stress. Be open and honest with your parents and with time your well being will definitely improve.
But you must talk to your parents openly!
You will be fine. Go for it!
Sounds like you have got parents that lots of kids would like to buy!.lol.
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mgi
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(Original post by Anonymous)
Yh, I’m really trying to remember that. Its helps me feel less guilty about this because Ive realised that family comes first of allll and I’m really lucky to have good parents like the ones I have. Also the fact I dont have to hide my scars as much as I wojld have if they found out by themselves. It would have probably been more chaotic if they found out by accident rather than someone with authority telling them.

Thank youuu
Yes, now you are getting there! I bet you feel emotionally lighter already, right?
Guilt and bottling up stuff will definitely cause you to suffer unnecessarily! Chat openly with your parents. Let them know that you appreciate them.
Parenting is a hard game to do! Why? because a lot of parents feel their kids pain and want to help!
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Anonymous #1
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(Original post by mgi)
Yes! What is guilt good for? Absolutely nothing useful!
Your turmoil and stress will continue until you sit down and have an honest chat with your parents. You will be fine.
If you bottle things up your mental health gets worse and often your physical health as well.This is a well known fact!
Forgive yourself! Don't stress. Be open and honest with your parents and with time your well being will definitely improve.
But you must talk to your parents openly!
You will be fine. Go for it!
Sounds like you have got parents that lots of kids would like to buy!.lol.
Thank you so much for this post - it really helped me lean over to talking to my parents. Had a horrible night last night where I was really done with the overbearing guilt. I couldn't talk to them about the "main" thing (sexuality vs religion) but I managed to cover some of the other topics and it really took some of the guilt away because I got a chance to tell them that it's not their fault and yeah.
I still feel a bit weird about the teachers kind of abandoning me now, but I'm just going to hang in there and pray that it'll all be okay. I'm sure they won't judge me, right?
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