Teachers told my Parents and now i feel trapped

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Anonymous #1
#41
Report Thread starter 1 week ago
#41
(Original post by Muttley79)
Every teacher will say they can't keep a confidence if someone is at risk - if someone tells me they are suicidal then I cannot keep quiet. We are not bound to keep silent - can you imagine the uproar if someone did commit suicide and had told me and I had said nothing?
Yes that's true...it was just a bit difficult for me to accept that. Made me wonder if things might have been easier if I wasn't so open.
But I guess I understand, I'm grateful for teachers who are even willing to listen to me and care for me. Thank you
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Blueclueless
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#42
Report 1 week ago
#42
(Original post by Muttley79)
Every teacher will say they can't keep a confidence if someone is at risk - if someone tells me they are suicidal then I cannot keep quiet. We are not bound to keep silent - can you imagine the uproar if someone did commit suicide and had told me and I had said nothing?
Going off what OP said I don’t think actual self harm was mentioned only feelings of depression. As somebody who’s gone though what op did that teacher has put their mental health at even bigger risk now by isolating them from any source of comfortable help as well as trust issues
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Muttley79
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#43
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#43
(Original post by Anonymous)
Yes that's true...it was just a bit difficult for me to accept that. Made me wonder if things might have been easier if I wasn't so open.
But I guess I understand, I'm grateful for teachers who are even willing to listen to me and care for me. Thank you
I'm sorry that it wasn't handled more sensitively though ...if teachers aren't replying now it may be because they are having a break. Personally I've worked right through since lockdown and this week is the first chance I've had to see family members who don't live locally.
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Anonymous #1
#44
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#44
(Original post by Blueclueless)
As somebody who’s gone though what op did that teacher has put their mental health at even bigger risk now by isolating them from any source of comfortable help as well as trust issues
That's exactlyyy right! I don't want to experience the negative effects of this because it brings me so much regret and guilt, so I'm trying to see the good but it's quite difficult because I really did rely on talking to teachers at one point.

Really the main thing that happened was I told one of the other teachers (who I don't really talk to that often but she's got a good persperspective) about me feeling off because of religion vs sexuality, and she was very supportive but was also one of those people who would encourage me to "pray the gay away" and then she proceeded to tell the protection people and that reallllly hurt. Felt like nothing good came out of that.

Sorry I'm ranting in every post but I'm trying to work through everything that's happened so fast and see how I can feel less bad and not develop serious trust issues from this because I feel like I'm on the verge of that.

Parallel to this, some of my best friends were gossiping about me over text saying that I was bullying them etc etc and so I've lost a bunch of friends and lost even more trust.
Feels great.
And the worst thing is that I feel like it's all my fault. There hasn't been one "event" per se that's triggered all of this, I was just having such bad anxiety in January and worked through it with my teacher and throughout all that it got worse and worse and worse and worse. Maybe if I had stayed in the oblivion I was in and I didn't try to work out why I was having anxiety attacks everyday.
I love my teacher so much, but this has kind of shaken me. And now she's poofed so I'm just hanging here lmao
Thank you for helping me feel less lonely
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Anonymous #1
#45
Report Thread starter 1 week ago
#45
(Original post by Muttley79)
I'm sorry that it wasn't handled more sensitively though ...if teachers aren't replying now it may be because they are having a break. Personally I've worked right through since lockdown and this week is the first chance I've had to see family members who don't live locally.
Of course, I'll remember that. (And thank you for continuing to work - we really love you teachers lmao)
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Muttley79
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#46
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#46
(Original post by Anonymous)
Of course, I'll remember that. (And thank you for continuing to work - we really love you teachers lmao)
If you want to PM me you are very welcome
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mgi
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#47
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#47
(Original post by Anonymous)
Also want to add that (I guess it's really fussy of me) but the adults at school said that they'd be there for me during the holidays but when I tried to talk to them they ignore me. Made me a bit sad but I should stop bothering them when they're not paid to work during the holidays. Guess it made me feel lonely.
Teachers have a lot of problems. The job is crazily difficult!
https://www.independent.co.uk/news/e...-a8871341.html
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1secondsofvamps
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#48
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#48
It's a safeguarding matter. Teachers cannot promise to keep things a secret especially if there's a serious concern.
This is why i never told my problems to teachers when i was in school.
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Blueclueless
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#49
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#49
(Original post by Anonymous)
That's exactlyyy right! I don't want to experience the negative effects of this because it brings me so much regret and guilt, so I'm trying to see the good but it's quite difficult because I really did rely on talking to teachers at one point.

Really the main thing that happened was I told one of the other teachers (who I don't really talk to that often but she's got a good persperspective) about me feeling off because of religion vs sexuality, and she was very supportive but was also one of those people who would encourage me to "pray the gay away" and then she proceeded to tell the protection people and that reallllly hurt. Felt like nothing good came out of that.

Sorry I'm ranting in every post but I'm trying to work through everything that's happened so fast and see how I can feel less bad and not develop serious trust issues from this because I feel like I'm on the verge of that.

Parallel to this, some of my best friends were gossiping about me over text saying that I was bullying them etc etc and so I've lost a bunch of friends and lost even more trust.
Feels great.
And the worst thing is that I feel like it's all my fault. There hasn't been one "event" per se that's triggered all of this, I was just having such bad anxiety in January and worked through it with my teacher and throughout all that it got worse and worse and worse and worse. Maybe if I had stayed in the oblivion I was in and I didn't try to work out why I was having anxiety attacks everyday.
I love my teacher so much, but this has kind of shaken me. And now she's poofed so I'm just hanging here lmao
Thank you for helping me feel less lonely
None of that is your fault

Repeat that to yourself. Write it down if you need to

NONE of that is your fault.

Your teacher is a homophobic dickward using religion to hate you and you need to report that **** because it’s illegal.

Your “friends” weren’t really your friends if they where willing to drop you over rumours and it’s not your fault.

If you need anybody to talk to about sexuality I’m here for you to talk to.

Also you might be interested in the “before edit” version of the bible which features four gay couples
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mgi
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#50
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#50
(Original post by Anonymous)
That's exactlyyy right! I don't want to experience the negative effects of this because it brings me so much regret and guilt, so I'm trying to see the good but it's quite difficult because I really did rely on talking to teachers at one point.

Really the main thing that happened was I told one of the other teachers (who I don't really talk to that often but she's got a good persperspective) about me feeling off because of religion vs sexuality, and she was very supportive but was also one of those people who would encourage me to "pray the gay away" and then she proceeded to tell the protection people and that reallllly hurt. Felt like nothing good came out of that.

Sorry I'm ranting in every post but I'm trying to work through everything that's happened so fast and see how I can feel less bad and not develop serious trust issues from this because I feel like I'm on the verge of that.

Parallel to this, some of my best friends were gossiping about me over text saying that I was bullying them etc etc and so I've lost a bunch of friends and lost even more trust.
Feels great.
And the worst thing is that I feel like it's all my fault. There hasn't been one "event" per se that's triggered all of this, I was just having such bad anxiety in January and worked through it with my teacher and throughout all that it got worse and worse and worse and worse. Maybe if I had stayed in the oblivion I was in and I didn't try to work out why I was having anxiety attacks everyday.
I love my teacher so much, but this has kind of shaken me. And now she's poofed so I'm just hanging here lmao
Thank you for helping me feel less lonely
You will need to dump those so called friends and that homophobic teacher whose comments were outrageous. You should have reported her but obviously your self confidence is very low and this adds to your problems.
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Anonymous #1
#51
Report Thread starter 5 days ago
#51
(Original post by Blueclueless)
None of that is your fault

Repeat that to yourself. Write it down if you need to

NONE of that is your fault.

Your teacher is a homophobic dickward using religion to hate you and you need to report that **** because it’s illegal.
I was just thinking that she was trying to help me, I was the one who told her that I was scared because I'm gay, and then she responded by linking me to mental health things online and ALSO linking me to a book saying "I have come across a Christian book about same-sex attraction and relationships" and boy was I so excited to find a resource that would be relatable and give me advice BUT NOPE. Clicked on the link and the first thing I see is "Growing up fatherless, Jackie abused drugs, loved pornography, and embraced lesbianism" and that killed me.

I'm not fatherless, I'm not abusing drugs, I don't love pornography and I don't want to be told that being gay fits into these issues.
She told me to focus on my Christian identity first and to read the Bible and to think about God even though its difficult and I don't know why but I was so pissed off by that.

I don't want to report her because it was me who went to her for help. I just wanted to hear from a Christian that I'm not going to hell.
That response really bothered me for a while (until I spoke to my head of year who told me just that but I haven't got a chance to speak to her more) but honestly I should have remembered that the majority of religious people won't say that I can be both.

Thank you for being so kind but I'm thinking about how would it not be my fault? If I didn't try and work things out, I wouldn't have had to talk to this teacher in the first place.
I spoke to another teacher who i knew for sure would be supportive and not homophobic (but she doesn't talk about religious that much) and that went well and is still going well. Maybe I should have stopped there. I don't know.

Looking back at it now, I probably should report her, but maybe subtly, maybe I'll tell my head of year when I see her in september.
Thank you
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