Asian Not Getting into Medicine...

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Anonymous #1
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#1
I'm asian (indian) and I feel as if I'm the only asian who has parents as doctors, who isn't doing medicine. I didn't get the grades and it's destroying me on the inside. I think about it everyday, all my friends who have parents as doctors are doing medicine. I feel hopeless and alone. They tell me "oh it'll be fine, theres plenty of other careers out there!" but thats easy to say when you're already doing medicine. All of their parents talk about their sons/daughters doing medicine to each other and my parents ask me why I didn't study harder. It's such a toxic culture in the asian community, and I have to admit it has finally broken me. I don't know what to do but cry. I made this post to get it off my chest and make people aware what it's really like in this community and living hell.
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999tigger
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(Original post by Anonymous)
I'm asian (indian) and I feel as if I'm the only asian who has parents as doctors, who isn't doing medicine. I didn't get the grades and it's destroying me on the inside. I think about it everyday, all my friends who have parents as doctors are doing medicine. I feel hopeless and alone. They tell me "oh it'll be fine, theres plenty of other careers out there!" but thats easy to say when you're already doing medicine. All of their parents talk about their sons/daughters doing medicine to each other and my parents ask me why I didn't study harder. It's such a toxic culture in the asian community, and I have to admit it has finally broken me. I don't know what to do but cry. I made this post to get it off my chest and make people aware what it's really like in this community and living hell.
But you sound like you have nice parents.

Did you even want to be a doctor?

How close were you to the grades? Resit if you can make it.
If its not for you do something else.

I thought just as many went into pharmacy?

Stop comparing yourself to others and maybe explore what you are good at, what you like and then select a career to which you are suited.
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Anonymous #1
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(Original post by 999tigger)
But you sound like you have nice parents.

Did you even want to be a doctor?

How close were you to the grades? Resit if you can make it.
If its not for you do something else.

I thought just as many went into pharmacy?

Stop comparing yourself to others and maybe explore what you are good at, what you like and then select a career to which you are suited.
Yes, if my parents were like my friends parents I think I would be looked down upon a lot more, I'm very grateful for them. I can do other courses but it always looms over me especially when I'm surrounded by successful medicine applicants and their proud parents, it makes me feel like I've failed, I should've been there. I guess there's only so much I can do and I should quit complaining but I wanted to get my feelings out there. It honestly sounds ridiculous but the fact is that the vast majority of asians do medicine for the status it gives them and their family.
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user454346y543r
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Hello im pakistani and i would just like to say i agree with everything you have said in the above post BUUUUUUT as you just said many Asians do medicine to for the status it gives their family so why cant u be the first one to break that toxic cycle. BE THE FIRST ONE TO DO SOMETHING DIFFERENT. Also ur parents seem very supportive of u and as long as u have ur parents support theres nothing else that matters more
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Blackstarr
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I feel you. I am not asian but in the african community its quite similar. If you are not a doctor, lawyer, engineer then you are considered a failure and not worthy of life.

Its ok to have parents as doctors and not be a doctor. This whole cycle of being a doctor based on your parents profession/culture has to stop because its too toxic. We need people to break this cycle and it has to start with our generation.
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999tigger
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(Original post by Anonymous)
Yes, if my parents were like my friends parents I think I would be looked down upon a lot more, I'm very grateful for them. I can do other courses but it always looms over me especially when I'm surrounded by successful medicine applicants and their proud parents, it makes me feel like I've failed, I should've been there. I guess there's only so much I can do and I should quit complaining but I wanted to get my feelings out there. It honestly sounds ridiculous but the fact is that the vast majority of asians do medicine for the status it gives them and their family.
More to life than status.

You are imposing limits and rules on yourself without properly understanding the world around you.
If you want top do medicine then resit and get the grades.
Doesn't mean you will be any good or happy.
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YaliaV
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(Original post by Anonymous)
Yes, if my parents were like my friends parents I think I would be looked down upon a lot more, I'm very grateful for them. I can do other courses but it always looms over me especially when I'm surrounded by successful medicine applicants and their proud parents, it makes me feel like I've failed, I should've been there. I guess there's only so much I can do and I should quit complaining but I wanted to get my feelings out there. It honestly sounds ridiculous but the fact is that the vast majority of asians do medicine for the status it gives them and their family.
What would you really like to do with your life? Did you only want to do medicine for the prestige? Maybe you are meant to do something else.
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StarLinyx
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(Original post by Anonymous)
I'm asian (indian) and I feel as if I'm the only asian who has parents as doctors, who isn't doing medicine. I didn't get the grades and it's destroying me on the inside. I think about it everyday, all my friends who have parents as doctors are doing medicine. I feel hopeless and alone. They tell me "oh it'll be fine, theres plenty of other careers out there!" but thats easy to say when you're already doing medicine. All of their parents talk about their sons/daughters doing medicine to each other and my parents ask me why I didn't study harder. It's such a toxic culture in the asian community, and I have to admit it has finally broken me. I don't know what to do but cry. I made this post to get it off my chest and make people aware what it's really like in this community and living hell.
What about Pharmacy, Optometry, Physician Associate studies, or working towards PhD research at a top medical school? The World doesn't stop at not being able to get into Medicine!

You could also do Medicine in Europe (Bulgaria, Ukraine) with lower grades I think.
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Anonymous #2
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(Original post by Anonymous)
I'm asian (indian) and I feel as if I'm the only asian who has parents as doctors, who isn't doing medicine. I didn't get the grades and it's destroying me on the inside. I think about it everyday, all my friends who have parents as doctors are doing medicine. I feel hopeless and alone. They tell me "oh it'll be fine, theres plenty of other careers out there!" but thats easy to say when you're already doing medicine. All of their parents talk about their sons/daughters doing medicine to each other and my parents ask me why I didn't study harder. It's such a toxic culture in the asian community, and I have to admit it has finally broken me. I don't know what to do but cry. I made this post to get it off my chest and make people aware what it's really like in this community and living hell.
Its not perfect, but its not a toxic culture.

You are lucky to be part of a culture that actually encourages you towards real long term career.
Just look how many asians in the UK actually become doctors, and you will find they have a higher than average proportion of Doctors amongst other stable, high earning professions.

Yes it sucks that you didn't make it.
But seriously stop feeling sorry for yourself.

Your community gives you stable families often with both parents, encourages you and guides you towards success, also you often get prevented from drinking, smoking and other unhealthy habits.

Would you rather be an underachieving working class white person, with separated parents and not encouraged towards any career path at all?
And end up working as a cashier in a shop, or studying something which did not benefit your career, and ending up working in starbucks as a graduate?
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browniecat
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i felt that way about this too, i ended up studying something else and i'm glad i did. I lived with a student this year who was in their final year of medicine and they were constantly stressed, they'd be at uni/placement 9-5 then come home and have to study more because they have an exam coming up, that stress just does not seem to be worth it imo. You don't have to follow your parents footsteps, carve your own path (sounds so cliche but its true). Some asians just study medicine for the status or to please their parents, don't be like them. If you really want to study it, do some research on how to increase your chances of getting into graduate medicine now, do a relevant undergrad and you might be able to study it later on. Or just study it in europe.
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Anonymous #3
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(Original post by Anonymous)
Its not perfect, but its not a toxic culture.

You are lucky to be part of a culture that actually encourages you towards real long term career.
Just look how many asians in the UK actually become doctors, and you will find they have a higher than average proportion of Doctors amongst other stable, high earning professions.

Yes it sucks that you didn't make it.
But seriously stop feeling sorry for yourself.

Your community gives you stable families often with both parents, encourages you and guides you towards success, also you often get prevented from drinking, smoking and other unhealthy habits.

Would you rather be an underachieving working class white person, with separated parents and not encouraged towards any career path at all?
And end up working as a cashier in a shop, or studying something which did not benefit your career, and ending up working in starbucks as a graduate?
Did you come to the UK to he a racist? Not sure what numbers you know, but most Indians in the UK do not have an above average salary. Most Pakistanis do not have a cleaner criminal record than whites. Asians do not have more successful mariages. Just putting that straight.
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Anonymous #2
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(Original post by Anonymous)
Did you come to the UK to he a racist? Not sure what numbers you know, but most Indians in the UK do not have an above average salary. Most Pakistanis do not have a cleaner criminal record than whites. Asians do not have more successful mariages. Just putting that straight.
First of all I did not say anything racist, so please point clearly where you think I have been.
On the contrary, I gave credit where it was due to the asian community, which has statistically achieved higher than the working class white community.

Secondly, if you are going to dispute what I have said, and say that I'm incorrect and you are "not sure what numbers I know"
Then you should put up numbers.

Just putting that straight.
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Anonymous #2
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* achieved higher academically
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Anonymous #1
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(Original post by browniecat)
i felt that way about this too, i ended up studying something else and i'm glad i did. I lived with a student this year who was in their final year of medicine and they were constantly stressed, they'd be at uni/placement 9-5 then come home and have to study more because they have an exam coming up, that stress just does not seem to be worth it imo. You don't have to follow your parents footsteps, carve your own path (sounds so cliche but its true). Some asians just study medicine for the status or to please their parents, don't be like them. If you really want to study it, do some research on how to increase your chances of getting into graduate medicine now, do a relevant undergrad and you might be able to study it later on. Or just study it in europe.
Were your parents doctors as well? And yeah that's true I've heard people talk about how stressful it is to study medicine, maybe I should look at the downsides as well and stop putting medicine on a pedestal
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jammypop101
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i agree indian culture is toxic afff (im indian too) but just go with your heart...what else interests you? and don't listen to all these talking aunties (they talk bad about you because they can't say it to their own children smh)
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Anonymous #1
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(Original post by YaliaV)
What would you really like to do with your life? Did you only want to do medicine for the prestige? Maybe you are meant to do something else.
I mean, medicine is the only thing I could see myself doing. It's kind of the only thing I've been surrounded by and talked about while growing up. I do have other interests but not having medicine as my main career feels odd when my parents are doctors and close friends are becoming doctors. I think its best if I snap out of this medicine mindset
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Anonymous #1
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(Original post by user454346y543r)
Hello im pakistani and i would just like to say i agree with everything you have said in the above post BUUUUUUT as you just said many Asians do medicine to for the status it gives their family so why cant u be the first one to break that toxic cycle. BE THE FIRST ONE TO DO SOMETHING DIFFERENT. Also ur parents seem very supportive of u and as long as u have ur parents support theres nothing else that matters more
That's true, we should start a revolution lol but glad I'm not the only one who sees this toxic cycle
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Anonymous #1
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(Original post by Blackstarr)
I feel you. I am not asian but in the african community its quite similar. If you are not a doctor, lawyer, engineer then you are considered a failure and not worthy of life.

Its ok to have parents as doctors and not be a doctor. This whole cycle of being a doctor based on your parents profession/culture has to stop because its too toxic. We need people to break this cycle and it has to start with our generation.
Yeah I have friends in the african community like that as well. I guess it's the mindset their parents were given when they were raised, I should try and get rid of that mindset. I agree, we should break this awful cycle. There's nothing wrong with being a doctor but this isn't just simple encouragement, it's peer pressure from the community at this point.
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Anonymous #1
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(Original post by StarLinyx)
What about Pharmacy, Optometry, Physician Associate studies, or working towards PhD research at a top medical school? The World doesn't stop at not being able to get into Medicine!

You could also do Medicine in Europe (Bulgaria, Ukraine) with lower grades I think.
Yes I've heard about those options, and definitely agree more to life than medicine. Right now for me I'd rather either do medicine or do something not related to medicine, because I get a constant reminder about how I failed to get in if I done something like biomed science or pharmacy. But doing medicine is definitely a shout, I've looked into it before. Thanks for the suggestions
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BlueIndigoViolet
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(Original post by Anonymous)
I mean, medicine is the only thing I could see myself doing. It's kind of the only thing I've been surrounded by and talked about while growing up. I do have other interests but not having medicine as my main career feels odd when my parents are doctors and close friends are becoming doctors. I think its best if I snap out of this medicine mindset
"I do have other interests"
"my main career feels odd when my parents are doctors"

I think you have to recognise that you have to live your own life for yourself, as long after your parents are doctors you will be working probably for decades in the profession you choose and like, whether that be medicine or something else. Maybe have a talk about it with your parents
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