Constant stress for such a small reason!!

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Anonymous #1
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Report Thread starter 1 week ago
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Hi,
Not sure why this is, but anyone have any problems with strong and prolonged stress/sadness when you drifted apart from old friends? Particularly as your best friends are still very close with each other and exclude you openly from their events and fun?
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RtheBotanist
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Report 1 week ago
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In openly excluding you, your 'best friends' can't possibly think that it won't make you stressed or sad. That really isn't 'such a small reason', that's a deliberate act of unpleasantness on the part of those who ought to care about you. I've had periods of time where friends have drifted away and I've been pretty lonely, but they've tended to return and apologise (if just while tipsy, but nonetheless....) and I'm on good terms with them all.

Stop putting energy into these people and do things that make you happy. I've rarely been clearly and openly excluded though, so I think you probably ought to begin the process of finding new friends. Your old ones might realise what they are missing if they find out you socialise elsewhere, and try to get you back, in which case you can choose whether to spend time with them or not.

There's no easy short term fix to the anxiety surrounding social rejection and loneliness. You just have to press on with life and fill it with as much as you can. Generally when we do that, friends are just kind of something that happens. Try something new and brave.

With a question like this, there's barely any context- social interplay is complex and governed by sooo many factors- and the likes of me can only give a fairly generic answer.
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Anonymous #1
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Report Thread starter 1 week ago
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(Original post by RtheBotanist)
In openly excluding you, your 'best friends' can't possibly think that it won't make you stressed or sad. That really isn't 'such a small reason', that's a deliberate act of unpleasantness on the part of those who ought to care about you. I've had periods of time where friends have drifted away and I've been pretty lonely, but they've tended to return and apologise (if just while tipsy, but nonetheless....) and I'm on good terms with them all.

Stop putting energy into these people and do things that make you happy. I've rarely been clearly and openly excluded though, so I think you probably ought to begin the process of finding new friends. Your old ones might realise what they are missing if they find out you socialise elsewhere, and try to get you back, in which case you can choose whether to spend time with them or not.

There's no easy short term fix to the anxiety surrounding social rejection and loneliness. You just have to press on with life and fill it with as much as you can. Generally when we do that, friends are just kind of something that happens. Try something new and brave.

With a question like this, there's barely any context- social interplay is complex and governed by sooo many factors- and the likes of me can only give a fairly generic answer.
Thanks!! I’ve defo started hanging out with different people now, hopefully I won’t run into the same problem!!
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