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Anonymous #1
#1
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#1
I am a virgin BUT I send inappropriate pics and sext with guys on snapchat. I feel like a hoe because im not just sexting with one guy but many guys. I feel like im leading some of them on as well because they think im only interested in them and they tell me how much they like me. one guy even told me how he loved me so much which I found cringy and creepy but I don't wanna stop talking to him since he's a sweet guy. So does this mean I am a hoe?
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ROTL94
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#2
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#2
You sound like you're confused and don't know what you actually want but definitely not a whore. Might be good to take a step back from all of that while you figure out exactly what that is.
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SuperiorPotato
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#3
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Well by definition kind of but not really as a hoe would have a lot of sex and you're a virgin. :/

Just stick to one guy and be careful who send those pics to
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RaA64
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#4
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You’re definitely a player - if a geezer did what you were doing everyone would roast him and call him every name under the Sun, so you’re the same in my eyes
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Anonymous #1
#5
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#5
(Original post by ROTL94)
You sound like you're confused and don't know what you actually want but definitely not a whore. Might be good to take a step back from all of that while you figure out exactly what that is.
Tbh I wasnt always like this. When I had a bf i used to only talk to him and no other guy I put all my energy into our relationship but he cheated on me and moved on without a care. So now I'm scared of commitment and focusing on one guy because what if they hurt me too? If I have many guys on the side then I wont be too attached to one guy
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NonIndigenous
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#6
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Labels like this are relatively meaningless.

Why is it you feel the need to do these things? With multiple guys? And how old are you? (I'm not asking to patronise you, just interested in what stage in life you're at)

Chances are you will 'graduate' out of it at some point once you loose your virginity and be looking for actual hookups with multiple guys, and behave the same way towards them then. Once you 'normalise' this kind of behavior in your own mind, you stop thinking there's anything wrong with it, often even once you have a partner.
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Anonymous #1
#7
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#7
(Original post by SuperiorPotato)
Well by definition kind of but not really as a hoe would have a lot of sex and you're a virgin. :/

Just stick to one guy and be careful who send those pics to
Focusing on one guy didn't turn out well for me in the past so I dont know if i wanna do that again
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NonIndigenous
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#8
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(Original post by Anonymous)
Tbh I wasnt always like this. When I had a bf i used to only talk to him and no other guy I put all my energy into our relationship but he cheated on me and moved on without a care. So now I'm scared of commitment and focusing on one guy because what if they hurt me too? If I have many guys on the side then I wont be too attached to one guy
Right, you answered my question there.

If you let these experiences undermine your personality, then you are increasingly unlikely to find the 'right guy' who won't cheat on you.
Last edited by NonIndigenous; 1 week ago
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ROTL94
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#9
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(Original post by Anonymous)
Tbh I wasnt always like this. When I had a bf i used to only talk to him and no other guy I put all my energy into our relationship but he cheated on me and moved on without a care. So now I'm scared of commitment and focusing on one guy because what if they hurt me too? If I have many guys on the side then I wont be too attached to one guy
Not every man you get involved with will be a carbon copy of your ex boyfriend, just as women aren't monolithic, neither are men, there's a diversity of thought and behaviours. My first girlfriend did that to me too but I still had further relationships with women and I am pleased to say that it only happened with her.
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vix.xvi
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#10
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be careful when u send pics
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Anonymous #1
#11
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#11
(Original post by NonIndigenous)
Labels like this are relatively meaningless.

Why is it you feel the need to do these things? With multiple guys? And how old are you? (I'm not asking to patronise you, just interested in what stage in life you're at)

Chances are you will 'graduate' out of it at some point once you loose your virginity and be looking for actual hookups with multiple guys, and behave the same way towards them then. Once you 'normalise' this kind of behavior in your own mind, you stop thinking there's anything wrong with it, often even once you have a partner.
I'm 16. Yea I hope I 'graduate' out of it soon, summer has been so boring so I've been spending too much time on snapchat to kill time now I'm kind of addicted to it
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NonIndigenous
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It's like, you know what he did was wrong.

So now, you go and do the same to others? How does that solve your problem? It doesn't, in the long term. You're overlooking the bigger picture.
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RaA64
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#13
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Disappointed with these responses tbh, if a guy said this, would you guys show the same energy, or call him every name under the Sun?🤔
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NonIndigenous
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#14
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(Original post by Anonymous)
Tbh I wasnt always like this. When I had a bf i used to only talk to him and no other guy I put all my energy into our relationship but he cheated on me and moved on without a care. So now I'm scared of commitment and focusing on one guy because what if they hurt me too? If I have many guys on the side then I wont be too attached to one guy
Perhaps you put too much energy into your first relationship? If you 'needed' him more than he needed you, it put him at higher risk of taking you for granted and therefore cheating. It put him in a position of power over you, and he abused it because either he was immature or an ar.sehole who knew what he was doing and stringing you along on purpose.

That doesn't mean you need to divide your attention across 10 or 15 different guys (however many it is).

Having 1, is much healthier (mentally). Control the amount of attention you give him so that it matches approximately that which he gives you. Test the waters occasionally to see if he's interested in more, and if so, turn it up a notch. In the meantime, find other constructive interests to spend your attention on.

I have another question: what sort of social circles have you got? Lots of friends? Not many? What sorts of things do they do? And do you talk about this with any of them?
Last edited by NonIndigenous; 1 week ago
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Anonymous #2
#15
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So long as it’s consensual send what you like. But I’d be careful sending intimate photos once you’ve taken them they are out there & there’s no way to get them back, & they could be misused especially by a spurned person who thought you were really into them & not.

Flirt with as many guys as you want, ( try before you buy lol) if it’s all online it doesn’t seem that serious anyway. So the person saying they love you does seem quite cringe.( Though it depends how long you’ve been messaging Them)
Its when you’re starting to date guys you should consider being Monogamous. Or it’s ok if you’re polyamorous, but certainly put that out there if you are getting serious with someone.
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Anonymous #1
#16
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#16
(Original post by NonIndigenous)
It's like, you know what he did was wrong.

So now, you go and do the same to others? How does that solve your problem? It doesn't, in the long term. You're overlooking the bigger picture.
Ik but they're not even that serious. It's all online it's not like I'm in relationship with a guy and doing all this behind his back. I can't stay loyal to any of them because why should I?
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CoolCavy
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#17
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Depends on how well you can dig up soil i suppose :beard:
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RaA64
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#18
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#18
If a guy sexted many girls like this, you guys would lambast him. Why aren’t you treating this girl the same?
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RealLifeJoker
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#19
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#19
If it was sex instead of sexy then you’d be a hoe
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Anonymous #1
#20
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#20
(Original post by NonIndigenous)
Perhaps you put too much energy into your first relationship? If you 'needed' him more than he needed you, it put him at higher risk of taking you for granted and therefore cheating. It put him in a position of power over you, and he abused it because either he was immature or an ar.sehole who knew what he was doing and stringing you along on purpose.

That doesn't mean you need to divide your attention across 10 or 15 different guys (however many it is).

Having 1, is much healthier (mentally). Control the amount of attention you give him so that it matches approximately that which he gives you. Test the waters occasionally to see if he's interested in more, and if so, turn it up a notch. In the meantime, find other constructive interests to spend your attention on.

I have another question: what sort of social circles have you got? Lots of friends? Not many? What sorts of things do they do? And do you talk about this with any of them?
There isn't one guy I'm particularly interested in. What one guy doesn't have, another one does. I can't seem to find a guy like my ex. If there was one, I'd definitely consider not talking to as many guys.

And I don't have that many friends, when I did go to school I had many friends to hang out but now it's summer I don't really hang out with many of them so I get bored all the time. And my friends are good people who don't do drugs, focus on their education etc. I talk about some of the things to one best friend but I don't share everything with her because she doesn't expect this from me.
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