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NonIndigenous
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#21
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#21
(Original post by Anonymous)
Ik but they're not even that serious. It's all online it's not like I'm in relationship with a guy and doing all this behind his back. I can't stay loyal to any of them because why should I?
That's probably fine, provided you remember to hold onto those standards once you start meeting people in person and get into a relationship.

That guy said he "loves" you sounds a bit much. Most likely not your fault for him galloping off with his feelings this way so soon, before you two have even met.

I don't think you're a bad person by the way. From your post, you don't sound like it. You do think about others. But you shouldn't let your past bitter experience get the better of you and let it effect how you treat other people in the future. Change you own behavior, ok. Control your feelings (just like that guy who you called 'creepy' should be doing). But don't 'use' people in this way. That's dangerous. There are people out there who you will find are far better at these games than you could probably ever hope to be no matter with how much practice you get (because as I said, you don't sound like a bad person), and it's not a competition you should want to enter, trust me.
Last edited by NonIndigenous; 5 days ago
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RaA64
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#22
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#22
(Original post by Anonymous)
There isn't one guy I'm particularly interested in. What one guy doesn't have, another one does. I can't seem to find a guy like my ex. If there was one, I'd definitely consider not talking to as many guys.

And I don't have that many friends, when I did go to school I had many friends to hang out but now it's summer I don't really hang out with many of them so I get bored all the time. And my friends are good people who don't do drugs, focus on their education etc. I talk about some of the things to one best friend but I don't share everything with her because she doesn't expect this from me.
You’re clearly leading on the guy who said he loves you - if you want no problems just talk to one guy on an intimate level at a time otherwise you’ll have problems. It’s not difficult
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Hannah0505
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#23
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#23
Yeah you are no offence
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Anonymous #2
#24
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#24
(Original post by RealLifeJoker)
If it was sex instead of sexy then you’d be a hoe
Oh please, hoe is a stigma & based around slut shaming, guys sleeping with many girls, in the majority don’t get called anything shameful
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Anonymous #1
#25
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#25
(Original post by RaA64)
You’re clearly leading on the guy who said he loves you - if you want no problems just talk to one guy on an intimate level at a time otherwise you’ll have problems. It’s not difficult
I don't want to tell him I don't feel the same way because he will be hurt and then stop talking to me. And I actually enjoy his company (as a friend) but I freaked out when he told me he loved me because we have only known each other for a few months.
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RaA64
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#26
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(Original post by Anonymous)
Oh please, hoe is a stigma & based around slut shaming, guys sleeping with many girls, in the majority don’t get called anything shameful
If a guy posted here saying he was sexting many girls, you’d lambast him. Why are you treating this girl differently?
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RaA64
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#27
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#27
(Original post by Anonymous)
I don't want to tell him I don't feel the same way because he will be hurt and then stop talking to me. And I actually enjoy his company (as a friend) but I freaked out when he told me he loved me because we have only known each other for a few months.
Well you’re leading him on - you wouldn’t like it if a guy did that to you. You should tell him you aren’t interested - you sound really mean and a girl who enjoys the attention but doesn’t want anything concrete.

You need to tell him you only want to be friends - how would he know otherwise?Smh🤦🏾*♂️
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Anonymous #2
#28
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#28
(Original post by RaA64)
If a guy posted here saying he was sexting many girls, you’d lambast him. Why are you treating this girl differently?
Actually no, unless the intimate photos weren’t consensual. You can chat & flirt with as many people as you want online. It’s when you start dating & forming relationships, or profess love when ya just messing around that I’d lambast anyone of any gender.
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Anonymous #1
#29
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#29
(Original post by Anonymous)

Flirt with as many guys as you want, ( try before you buy lol) if it’s all online it doesn’t seem that serious anyway. So the person saying they love you does seem quite cringe.( Though it depends how long you’ve been messaging Them)
Its when you’re starting to date guys you should consider being Monogamous. Or it’s ok if you’re polyamorous, but certainly put that out there if you are getting serious with someone.
Thank you for the reply, this does make me feel better. I guess it's good to experiment with different guys, after all I'm only 16 so before getting into a serious relationship I can learn from these. I will definitely stop sexting with them if I start dating a guy because it wouldn't be fair on him.
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RaA64
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#30
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#30
(Original post by Anonymous)
Actually no, unless the intimate photos weren’t consensual. You can chat & flirt with as many people as you want online. It’s when you start dating & forming relationships, or profess love when ya just messing around that I’d lambast anyone of any gender.
But the guy professed love for OP, and she hasn’t said she’s not interested
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Yas031119
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#31
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yes
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NonIndigenous
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#32
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#32
(Original post by Anonymous)
There isn't one guy I'm particularly interested in. What one guy doesn't have, another one does. I can't seem to find a guy like my ex. If there was one, I'd definitely consider not talking to as many guys.

And I don't have that many friends, when I did go to school I had many friends to hang out but now it's summer I don't really hang out with many of them so I get bored all the time. And my friends are good people who don't do drugs, focus on their education etc. I talk about some of the things to one best friend but I don't share everything with her because she doesn't expect this from me.
"I can't seem to find a guy like my ex. If there was one, I'd definitely consider not talking to as many guys."

That ex who cheated on you? You want another one like him?

In that case, you're almost certainly going to run into the same problem you did before. And no I'm not generalising. Whatever was so appealing about him that made you drop your guard and your standards, is likely what made you overlook his negative qualities. Though at your age I'd also blame it on lack of experience too. Case in point: you already have one experience like this under the belt. You should know better in the future now and not say things like that which I quoted.

It also really sounds like you're not over your ex after all, and are just looking for a replacement. This happened to me personally too a long time ago. You won't ever find a replacement, no matter how many people you use up in the process. Don't bother. Just find a new person instead.
Last edited by NonIndigenous; 6 days ago
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Corban Hart
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#33
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You're not a hoe since you are a virgin but it's not ok to send pics and sexting with so many guys. Chose one and be with him for a period of time.
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NonIndigenous
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#34
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Plus, also, it is extremely unlikely that one guy will ever have "everything" you're looking for. Does that then mean you will always feel the need to reach out to others, to fill in the gaps?

Also, probably because you've grown a bit distant from your friends over summer is what has pushed you towards this. It's more common for some people to behave this way when they feel relatively isolated, or when on the other hand they have toxic friends pushing and egging them on to behave in these ways. In your case, try to look after your social circles a little better, and find people who do the same and don't just leave you hanging when you need them.
Last edited by NonIndigenous; 6 days ago
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Jang Gwangnam
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#35
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(Original post by Anonymous)
I am a virgin BUT I send inappropriate pics and sext with guys on snapchat. I feel like a hoe because im not just sexting with one guy but many guys. I feel like im leading some of them on as well because they think im only interested in them and they tell me how much they like me. one guy even told me how he loved me so much which I found cringy and creepy but I don't wanna stop talking to him since he's a sweet guy. So does this mean I am a hoe?
The best term for this is manipulation. You're a manipulator.

I hope you've been careful with the sexting as you might have hooked a couple crazys. As the male saying goes: Don't stick your d*ick in crazy. Or in this case don't let crazy d*ck you.

I don't want what you've done to affect you adversely, so go through your contacts and make a note of the dodgy geezers you've interacted with. And try to decrease your interaction with them. Be safe ygm.
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Hannah0505
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#36
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#36
also its illegal to send nudes if youre under 18
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RealLifeJoker
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#37
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#37
(Original post by Anonymous)
Oh please, hoe is a stigma & based around slut shaming, guys sleeping with many girls, in the majority don’t get called anything shameful
“Slut shaming” is just radical feminist term used as an excuse failing to accept self-accountability. As for guys, they are no different.
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RaA64
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#38
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(Original post by RealLifeJoker)
“Slut shaming” is just radical feminist term used as an excuse failing to accept self-accountability. As for guys, they are no different.
Exactly, if a guy did it, he’d be called every name under the Sun
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Theloniouss
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#39
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#39
(Original post by NonIndigenous)
"I can't seem to find a guy like my ex. If there was one, I'd definitely consider not talking to as many guys."

That ex who cheated on you? You want another one like him?

In that case, you're almost certainly going to run into the same problem you did before. And no I'm not generalising. Whatever was so appealing about him that made you drop your guard and your standards, is likely what made you overlook his negative qualities. Though at your age I'd also blame it on lack of experience too. Case in point: you already have one experience like this under the belt. You should know better in the future now and not say things like that which I quoted.

It also really sounds like you're not over your ex after all, and are just looking for a replacement. This happened to me personally too a long time ago. You won't ever find a replacement, no matter how many people you use up in the process. Don't bother. Just find a new person instead.
PRSOM

very well said
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NonIndigenous
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#40
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(Original post by RealLifeJoker)
“Slut shaming” is just radical feminist term used as an excuse failing to accept self-accountability. As for guys, they are no different.
"Slut" and "Slut shaming" are both pretty shallow terms to be honest though.
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