Do I give her stuff back?

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Anonymous #1
#1
Report Thread starter 6 days ago
#1
I split from my partner 2 weeks ago. She suddenly changed how she was in the relationship and for some unknown reason became quite cruel in how she made me feel and what she said in the days leading up to it. Since then we tried to be friends but she has continued to be cruel in the things she says making personal attacks. It's a double standard so what I used to get the silent treatment for doing, she now does and then has a go at me when I point that out.

From the time apart I have realised that she was manipulative in the relationship and there is a double standard between what is ok. She would only ever take and never give within the relationship. Also, what I would consider normal (like asking someone how there weekend was) is apparently not normal; that is just an example but it really made me question myself and how I come across. I feel like in the relationship, even though it was reasonably calm, I always felt like I was second guessing myself so I didn't do the wrong thing.

Now my issue is: after our last argument where she was scathing in what she said again, should I just bin her stuff or should I return it? She hasn't mentioned it but I don't want it here anymore. I want nothing more to do with it because the whole situation is toxic and affecting my mental health.
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Hannah0505
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#2
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#2
Throw it in the trash, because thats where shes from
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Bambam0102
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#3
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#3
Sounds like you’ll really grow on your own without her. I’m glad you see how it wasn’t right now that can often be the hard part.

Honestly if you want a big release at the end of the relationship there’s a thing at the minute (it’s very petty but I love it) where you put glitter all over her stuff before u give it back. Could be fun or damaging you judge that but that’s probably awful advice because you said you don’t want more toxic behaviour. I’m sorry
For now I’d say box it all up and move it out of sight until you come up with a plan. You don’t have to give it back tbh but it would b nicer if you do.
Just continue to reflect and you seem like you’ll be a lot happier out of the relationship. But don’t forget about the good times too. Hating her is a lot of energy so just try to come to terms with what you’ve learnt about yourself.

I hope things get easier for you
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megan_e
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#4
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#4
wow she seems like a b*tch, i'm sorry you had to go through that
sell her stuff on ebay
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5hyl33n
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#5
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#5
You might as well profit a bit from the relationship.

Start selling. 😂
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gjd800
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#6
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#6
I'd bag it and tell her it is on the front if she wants it, or it'll be binned the next day
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Joleee
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#7
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#7
what kind of stuff? are you talking like shampoo or her iPad?
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Zarek
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#8
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#8
Offer return of anything that’s hers. Misuse of personal items post breakup is very bad form.
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NathanAtro3
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#9
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#9
Give her stuff back and be the better person.
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999tigger
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#10
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#10
(Original post by Anonymous)
I split from my partner 2 weeks ago. She suddenly changed how she was in the relationship and for some unknown reason became quite cruel in how she made me feel and what she said in the days leading up to it. Since then we tried to be friends but she has continued to be cruel in the things she says making personal attacks. It's a double standard so what I used to get the silent treatment for doing, she now does and then has a go at me when I point that out.

From the time apart I have realised that she was manipulative in the relationship and there is a double standard between what is ok. She would only ever take and never give within the relationship. Also, what I would consider normal (like asking someone how there weekend was) is apparently not normal; that is just an example but it really made me question myself and how I come across. I feel like in the relationship, even though it was reasonably calm, I always felt like I was second guessing myself so I didn't do the wrong thing.

Now my issue is: after our last argument where she was scathing in what she said again, should I just bin her stuff or should I return it? She hasn't mentioned it but I don't want it here anymore. I want nothing more to do with it because the whole situation is toxic and affecting my mental health.
How old are you both and how long together?
Just box it up and send someone round to drop it off, job done.
Move on.
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bones-mccoy
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#11
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#11
Put everything in a bin bag and tell her a time and place she can collect it from
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Yeet_your_meet
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#12
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#12
Sell it, get some money out of it
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Hard dude
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#13
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#13
(Original post by bones-mccoy)
Put everything in a bin bag and tell her a time and place she can collect it from
How is your Audi A1?
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bones-mccoy
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#14
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(Original post by Hard dude)
How is your Audi A1?
She's beautiful! Still haven't passed (was due to book a test just as lockdown started ) but she runs like a dream
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Karisa96
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#15
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#15
Give her an ultimatum, or tell her its all going in the bin.
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Anonymous #2
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#16
Incinerate her belongings in an outdoor bonfire,
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Hard dude
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(Original post by bones-mccoy)
She's beautiful! Still haven't passed (was due to book a test just as lockdown started ) but she runs like a dream
Nice, what year is it?
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bones-mccoy
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#18
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#18
(Original post by Hard dude)
Nice, what year is it?
2012
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Alisonsimmons24
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#19
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#19
I would be careful about selling these straightway. I know a person who was taken to court as their partner requested some of the gifts/belongings to be returned however they were eventually sold off. Send her an email saying she has 2 weeks to collect them or they will be given to the charity shop/sold.
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Hard dude
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#20
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#20
(Original post by bones-mccoy)
2012
Jeez
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