approaching strangers in public how often do you do it?

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barnetlad
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#21
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#21
Hardly ever, at least in this country. When out for my daily walk and passing by a person being walked by their dog sometimes a 'hello' is exchanged, but not much more.
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Castrah
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#22
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I guess most of it is down to context. I don’t personally do it, but I’d never have a problem with someone coming up to me randomly and starting a conversation. If I were on my own in a coffee shop, in a queue somewhere, chilling at a park. I welcome chat with people generally speaking. However the British nature is to find that slightly weird, and you probably wouldn’t get the best of responses most of the time. Don’t let that stop you though!
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bvllvh
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#23
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#23
(Original post by Max1989)
I (pre covid) regularly would say hi and try to strike up conversations with strangers, mainly just in the park e.g. if an old man/women were just sitting alone in the park I'd just go up to them and say hi, if I get a hi back I proceed to ask how they are and just have a short conversation with them. As I went through a time where a simple hi from someone would of made my day, well actually it'd still make my day, but loneliness is a serious problem especially amongst the elderly so I try and make people feel noticed, to feel like someone cares about them, it's just a kind gesture.
I'm not actually that confident just I know first hand the benefit it can create so that is what drives me to do it.

I'd never do this to try and do more than small talk though.
omg I went to the park today with that same intention but I just couldn't bring myself to do it no elderly though
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bvllvh
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#24
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#24
(Original post by Castrah)
I guess most of it is down to context. I don’t personally do it, but I’d never have a problem with someone coming up to me randomly and starting a conversation. If I were on my own in a coffee shop, in a queue somewhere, chilling at a park. I welcome chat with people generally speaking. However the British nature is to find that slightly weird, and you probably wouldn’t get the best of responses most of the time. Don’t let that stop you though!
Yeah I noticed that Ive only been living here for a year and people in public seem to be keep to themselves. Ig i should've made more friends before lock down
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Castrah
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#25
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If you are really struggling to talk to people, may I suggest perhaps doing some low-investment volunteering?

Doesn't have to be anything big, but that's one way to introduce yourself to people you may not otherwise have the opportunity to!

Work/Education are how are know most of my current friends, and talking to people via that tends to be the way I make friends, but that's not to say there aren't other avenues!
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Anonymous #2
#26
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#26
Don’t try and do it at the moment. Covid spreads by close interactions and if you’re getting close to strangers then you are putting yourself, the stranger and the wider community at risk.
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Joleee
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#27
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#27
only when i'm lost and need directions :itsme:

if you want to work on your social skills, there's nothing better than to get job in the service industry where you have a reason to and are forced to talk to the general public.
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Hannah0505
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#28
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#28
You don't
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Max1989
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#29
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(Original post by bvllvh)
omg I went to the park today with that same intention but I just couldn't bring myself to do it no elderly though
At the moment I would advise against it as other users have done, especially the elderly, ironically it might be considered anti-social behaviour. I know it doesn't beat people in person but simply making friends online is better than nothing and here is full of absolutely wonderful peeps. As others have also said try and join things like volunteering or what not, then when things are better you can try and talk to strangers. Hope you are well though
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Dunnig Kruger
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#30
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#30
It's very OK for you to walk up to people, but not too close at the moment, and to start speaking with them.

If they are someone you're attracted to, it's fine to make that plain and clear from the start.
Not with a "You're gorgeous, I want to shag you."
But with something more subtle and realistic like "You look cute / interesting / intriguing / as if you might be trouble. I'm curious to find out if you're as .... as you look."

Who cares if it's weird?
Or if they tell you to ... off!

If you find yourself a girlfriend because you had the courage to walk up to her and start a conversation then the ends very much justify the means.

Practising these sorts of social skills will help you with job interviews.

Don't worry too much about the first things that you say to them. Just be assertive, positive, not totally rude. Speak up, but don't shout in an aggressive way.

There are some youtubers that give good advice on how to walk up to people and start talking with them.

Remember: if you don't talk to someone you have zero chance of getting to know them.
If you do talk you have some chance.

Don't be like all the other shy, tongue-tied, cliquey people in this world.
Life is best when it's full of amazing adventures.
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Ciel.
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#31
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#31
(Original post by bvllvh)
I'm trying to work on my social skill and wanted to know if its okay or creepy and to randomly try talk to someone I wouldn't know? since lock-down has made me a complete recluse.
creepy. unless you're ridiculously good looking. otherwise, stay away...
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YaliaV
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#32
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#32
(Original post by Dunnig Kruger)
It's very OK for you to walk up to people, but not too close at the moment, and to start speaking with them.

If they are someone you're attracted to, it's fine to make that plain and clear from the start.
Not with a "You're gorgeous, I want to shag you."
But with something more subtle and realistic like "You look cute / interesting / intriguing / as if you might be trouble. I'm curious to find out if you're as .... as you look."

Who cares if it's weird?
Or if they tell you to ... off!

If you find yourself a girlfriend because you had the courage to walk up to her and start a conversation then the ends very much justify the means.

Practising these sorts of social skills will help you with job interviews.

Don't worry too much about the first things that you say to them. Just be assertive, positive, not totally rude. Speak up, but don't shout in an aggressive way.

There are some youtubers that give good advice on how to walk up to people and start talking with them.

Remember: if you don't talk to someone you have zero chance of getting to know them.
If you do talk you have some chance.

Don't be like all the other shy, tongue-tied, cliquey people in this world.
Life is best when it's full of amazing adventures.
Have you ever used those lines on a stranger?
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Dunnig Kruger
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#33
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#33
(Original post by YaliaV)
Have you ever used those lines on a stranger?
Yes, and quite a few variations on those lines. Plus loads of other stuff that came into my head at the time.

I'm not sure if I've ever actually said "You're gorgeous, I want to shag you." But I have opened with similar phrases that were as obnoxiously direct. We all make mistakes. Which is OK. As long as we learn from them.
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ANM775
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#34
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#34
(Original post by Ciel.)
creepy. unless you're ridiculously good looking. otherwise, stay away...

some will be creeped out and hate it, some will like it, some will love it..

here's a vid especially for you to highlight that





Spoiler:
Show
TLDR; the guy got 13 numbers, 87 rejections ...which is a really high amount considering most people are straight
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Ciel.
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#35
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#35
(Original post by ANM775)
some will be creeped out and hate it, some will like it, some will love it..

here's a vid especially for you to highlight that





Spoiler:
Show
TLDR; the guy got 13 numbers, 87 rejections ...which is a really high amount considering most people are straight
it's 18 min long i'm not watching the whole thing... tbh he has zero charm. surprised he got that many. but yeah that kinda says a lot about our standards, haha.
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ANM775
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#36
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(Original post by Ciel.)
it's 18 min long i'm not watching the whole thing... tbh he has zero charm. surprised he got that many. but yeah that kinda says a lot about our standards, haha.
He was deliberately acting like that for the purpose of the experiment.

He did a approaching 100 girls video like that too [just straight up asking for numbers] and he got 5 numbers out of 100 ...which is shocking for 2 reasons. Significantly more dude's were romantically interested in him than women. and 5/100 is around the amount of numbers i'd expect a white average looking guy to get doing PUA in that area [i've met quite a few PUA'S so can come up with accurate estimates]

Yet this guy is not using any fancy chat up lines or techniques and gets around the same amount of numbers.

which is evidence tbh, that PUA is mostly crap and it largely doesn't matter what you say to women. Just shoot your shot and don't stress about it.
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Deggs_14
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#37
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Never, it’s rude and people might think you’re trying to steal something from them or assault them, especially a woman on her own.
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Ciel.
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#38
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#38
(Original post by ANM775)
He was deliberately acting like that for the purpose of the experiment.

He did a approaching 100 girls video like that too [just straight up asking for numbers] and he got 5 numbers out of 100 ...which is shocking for 2 reasons. Significantly more dude's were romantically interested in him than women. and 5/100 is around the amount of numbers i'd expect a white average looking guy to get doing PUA in that area [i've met quite a few PUA'S so can come up with accurate estimates]

Yet this guy is not using any fancy chat up lines or techniques and gets around the same amount of numbers.

which is evidence tbh, that PUA is mostly crap and it largely doesn't matter what you say to women. Just shoot your shot and don't stress about it.
because men are horny *******s, probably
anyway, i think it's a bit weird to experiment on people like that. they're probably still waiting for him to text them, lol
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bvllvh
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#39
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#39
(Original post by Deggs_14)
Never, it’s rude and people might think you’re trying to steal something from them or assault them, especially a woman on her own.
Honestly I'm hardly intimidating, I'm pretty small at 5'7 and often get called polite
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Castrah
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#40
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(Original post by Deggs_14)
Never, it’s rude and people might think you’re trying to steal something from them or assault them, especially a woman on her own.
This is completely incorrect. A horrific look on today's society. Give people more credit. Either some people will make conversation, or others will tell you to piss off. It's the culture. But to say you should never talk to people especially women on their own? Id of never met some of my ex girlfriends if I never did that.

Be bold with it, just don't be over the top. And take no as an answer. It only gets weird if you make it so.
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