bit of an issue lol

Watch
Anonymous #1
#1
Report Thread starter 1 week ago
#1
ok so I could talk about this for ages but I'll try to summarise it but it's basically like summarising my whole life and my family and stuff lmao. so I had a really magical childhood, really really loving amazing family, I was quite a really bad child apparently but I have no bad memories. but I'm always told about how I was a really angry, loud, naughty child (my parents don't say it in a bad way, it's just facts like I was, I also don't know if this was relavent I'm just saying anything in my life that's relavent) and then I went through a tiny bit of my awkward teenage phase at like 13/14 and now I'm 16 and I've kind of turned into like the perfect child. like yes sometimes I drink with my friends and I've done a few very illegal things that I haven't told my parents about but I am aware that I'm really respectful, and I'm basically a parent to my siblings, younger and older, and like a best friend to my parents. But as my relationship has grown with my parents, and I've become a better person, I've become so much sadder, there's a million ways and reasons why I've become sad but I'm just focusing on one issue in this thread. the issue is that I can't be alone anymore, I completely depend on other company mostly my mam and whenever I'm I just cry my eyes out and feel so so depressed, it's like a switch because I'm genuinely happy in the day when I'm around people and at night/evening or just whenever I'm alone in the day or night I feel horrible. it's really annoying because I do enjoy my own company and watching my own TV shows and being in my room but I actually can't be alone, I'm very very sensitive and I know this sounds so dramatic but I'm so scared for my future self. Because if I literally feel suicidal over nothing then I don't know what will happen when I actually go through problems in life. Other things that I feel like I should just bring up are that I was in the Manchester terror attack at the ariana grande concert (I didn't get hurt), my dad works away for three weeks and comes home for three so he's been gone half my life (although he is the most caring and kind person ever), and just before lockdown I was sexually assaulted, so yeah lmao I just felt like I should mention them just incase someone somehow could make a connection but I don't think they contribute to this issue. Anyway this took me ages to write and it's very important to me so hopefully multiple people can respond. I'm not looking for a diagnosis or for someone to say it's hormones because 1) I know I don't have a mental health issue and 2) yes of course I have hormones but I still need help. I just want someone to try and see if they know why I've become and this and also how I can maybe solve it, (none of my siblings are sensitive at all and they don't get why I'm like this so it can't be my upbringing)
0
reply
Anonymous #2
#2
Report 1 week ago
#2
You have plainly and clearly described to us your descent into a mental health crisis (look up the definition of this)(you 'literally feel suicidal'), giving us potential causes and potential effects. You also poured your heart out on TSR, asking for help. Perhaps you don't want to look like you're being an attention seeker or put undue stress on those around you by admitting it? People work differently even with the same upbringing, so you shouldn't compare yourself to your siblings to invalidate your own issues. It is fine to seek help, but there's only so much us denizens of the internet can do. I suggest you actually go to your local GP and tell your family about it.

A bit of armchair psychology to provoke thought:
Memories from traumatic events (2 of which you've had) often get buried fairly subconsciously, and manifest themselves unexpectedly a little later down the line as irrational fear, anxiety and depression. Part of the process is that you won't necessarily be able to consciously trace back your anxieties to the event itself. Is it possible that you have PTSD? Alternatively, maybe you're just a people-pleaser, so wrapped up in moral anxiety and caring for others, that you've forgotten how to actively deal with your own emotions? The answer to that would be to find meaningful hobbies and unpick your anxieties about not being around other people from their source. Whatever's up, there will almost certainly be a psychological explanation, tied to something that happened earlier in your life or just a key element of your personality.

Sounds like you're capable, responsible, moralistic and a lovely person. You're also only 16 - maybe focus unashamedly on yourself for once?
0
reply
Moonbow
Badges: 20
Rep:
?
#3
Report 1 week ago
#3
(Original post by Anonymous)
You have plainly and clearly described to us your descent into a mental health crisis (look up the definition of this)(you 'literally feel suicidal'), giving us potential causes and potential effects. You also poured your heart out on TSR, asking for help. Perhaps you don't want to look like you're being an attention seeker or put undue stress on those around you by admitting it? People work differently even with the same upbringing, so you shouldn't compare yourself to your siblings to invalidate your own issues. It is fine to seek help, but there's only so much us denizens of the internet can do. I suggest you actually go to your local GP and tell your family about it.

A bit of armchair psychology to provoke thought:
Memories from traumatic events (2 of which you've had) often get buried fairly subconsciously, and manifest themselves unexpectedly a little later down the line as irrational fear, anxiety and depression. Part of the process is that you won't necessarily be able to consciously trace back your anxieties to the event itself. Is it possible that you have PTSD? Alternatively, maybe you're just a people-pleaser, so wrapped up in moral anxiety and caring for others, that you've forgotten how to actively deal with your own emotions? The answer to that would be to find meaningful hobbies and unpick your anxieties about not being around other people from their source. Whatever's up, there will almost certainly be a psychological explanation, tied to something that happened earlier in your life or just a key element of your personality.

Sounds like you're capable, responsible, moralistic and a lovely person. You're also only 16 - maybe focus unashamedly on yourself for once?
Nothing wrong with being an open book, coming from an open book
0
reply
X

Quick Reply

Attached files
Write a reply...
Reply
new posts
Back
to top
Latest
My Feed

See more of what you like on
The Student Room

You can personalise what you see on TSR. Tell us a little about yourself to get started.

Personalise

What are you most likely to do if you don't get the grades you were expecting?

Go through Clearing (154)
38.4%
Take autumn exams (123)
30.67%
Look for a job (14)
3.49%
Consider an apprenticeship (17)
4.24%
Take a year out (68)
16.96%
Something else (let us know in the thread!) (25)
6.23%

Watched Threads

View All
Latest
My Feed