How to stop comparing yourself

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Anonymous #1
#1
Report Thread starter 5 months ago
#1
Hey, guys, I'm going to be one of those annoying thread starters who just have no kickass badass behaviour, hence why I'm anon, but hey? It's a long journey to self-love. So I've been friends with a guy for a year before we confessed to each other that we liked each other. We've been dating I'd say officially since September, but we confessed and been exclusive since April last year, if you get what I mean... Anyway, my boyfriend had an ex, who was pretty much present, he knew her a month before he met me, but, he liked her and I of course was okay with that, just sort of shrugged it off, it didn't really work, as she confessed that she just didn't feel the same anymore. So they lasted about three months from Sept I'd say to December 2018. We confessed 4 months after, and it caused problems hence why we took so long to date aha, because I found out the hard way he wasn't over her (he didn't cheat, but he got jealous over her moving on). Anyway, now him and his ex don't talk to each other, infact they've just blocked each other and moved on, which is best for the both of them I guess, and no more drama for me whoop whop. Lmao, anyway I still have her on social media, and I always felt like inferior to her, ;/ like I would always think why her? I knew from the get go, their relationship wasn't going well, he'd ask for my help and he'd end up so frustrated and confused, he'd jump to other girls not knowing what he wanted. And, I sort of felt like well it's not my place to interfere, so I never did, I always helped him because at the end of the day I was his friend. Anyway, ever since I met him and because I also knew his ex, I can't help but comparing myself to her. I once asked him why her, and asked whether it was because of her looks, he just said they were more similar, which kind of upset me as I thought me and him were similar without even trying, and we liked the same things and connected over so many things, such as music and hobbies. Anyway, I kept on comparing myself to her, especially when another bloke said I was peng but this girl was so much more penger, and that was also something that stuck with me, this wasn't my boyfriend who said this, it was his mate. So it kind of hurt me, I mean since then I always compared myself to her, doesn't help that today is Eid and she posted a full glam makeup look and looked stunning on Instagram meanwhile, I look like a literal potato. I have makeup, I just don't know how to rock it, a lot of people say I look really good without makeup and that natural always suited me, I have to say I do look like a clown with makeup on, eyeliner doesn't really suit me. Does anyone know, how to stop comparing yourself to your bf/gf's ex. I know an ex is an ex, and my bf thinks im literally so beautiful he tells me everyday, and I tell him too. He Struggles a lot, we both have low self esteem but, we always build each other up, I really appreciate that, but, sometimes you know despite what anyone else says you just don't see it, or you just don't feel it, in which case how do you overcome it ;/
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Anonymous #2
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just stay positive, think positive because at the end of the day, you will only make yourself happy about what you want and who to be with - by thinking positive oh and stay healthy
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vix.xvi
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i think you've just got to remind yourself that's its not a competition-
its not a competition, its as simple as that
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glowing_starfish
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Yh I feel you. I would say I’m confident but I also do have a low self esteem and am very conscious of my body and what I look like. To overcome I usually hype myself up in the mirror in the morning most days (not self obnoxiousness just sum self love) n just strut my stuff w confidence during the day. I’ve learnt that if u act confident u can open urself to be confident however it is also okay to not be confident all the time because I’m pretty sure no one can be all the time. After all we are all human.

Also sorry about ur dilemma w the ex but at least now the ex is gone right? Gurl tbh just forget about her. If u feel like ur never going to be as pretty as her just tell urself u aren’t because you’ll be ur own kind of pretty. I mean if u wanted to be “pretty”-U’d basically be her n that would be no good cause u wouldn’t be ur own person. If ugm? Idk if u get my POV but just to be clear I’m not trying to be mean.

Just be u and love urself for u cause remember no one else can be u. Your 1 in a universe!
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username5332164
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That paragraph is too long i would just say people who act like they have the happiest life on insta are the saddest ones
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Anonymous #1
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(Original post by Failure In Life)
That paragraph is too long i would just say people who act like they have the happiest life on insta are the saddest ones
no I wasn't on about her being happy I was on ab how to stop comparing myself look wise
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Anonymous #1
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(Original post by glowing_starfish)
Yh I feel you. I would say I’m confident but I also do have a low self esteem and am very conscious of my body and what I look like. To overcome I usually hype myself up in the mirror in the morning most days (not self obnoxiousness just sum self love) n just strut my stuff w confidence during the day. I’ve learnt that if u act confident u can open urself to be confident however it is also okay to not be confident all the time because I’m pretty sure no one can be all the time. After all we are all human.

Also sorry about ur dilemma w the ex but at least now the ex is gone right? Gurl tbh just forget about her. If u feel like ur never going to be as pretty as her just tell urself u aren’t because you’ll be ur own kind of pretty. I mean if u wanted to be “pretty”-U’d basically be her n that would be no good cause u wouldn’t be ur own person. If ugm? Idk if u get my POV but just to be clear I’m not trying to be mean.

Just be u and love urself for u cause remember no one else can be u. Your 1 in a universe!
Thanks aha, it just kind of sucks because I'm like well what does he see in me? I look like some gorilla, but, he thinks I'm pretty, I mean my mates kind of hype me up too, but, Idk I do struggle seeing it I guess we are our own worst critics, I do think I'm average and have nice idk lips lmfaoo?? but, it's just comparing myself to people it's a common occurrence, i don't do it often with celebrities, only with my boyfriends ex because well she was very prominent, and I always felt like I was below her or competing with her way before he even chose me. If that makes sense, I guess he kind of feels partially to blame, but, idk. I just hate feeling like that ;/ my friend once told me that I'm gorgeous and she's gorgeous in two different ways, because being pretty doesn't mean you have to look a specific way so I guess there's that
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Anonymous #1
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(Original post by vix.xvi)
i think you've just got to remind yourself that's its not a competition-
its not a competition, its as simple as that
I know, I do try, and I hardly whine about it to my bf because I want to appear grateful the last thing he needs is a jealous gf or an insecure gf, even though he has insecurities similar to mine, it doesn't mean it's okay to continue show him, obvs he knows I'm insecure ab my looks but not in relation to her. It;s just those odd occasions I'm scrolling through and I just stare at her and I'm just like damn now I know why he was so attached to her then me, I mean not going to lie I know the girl personally, and we're similar personality wise except I'm probs funnier and she's more academically smarter which of course isn't a problem, but, to me I thought the only other explanation of why he chose her and not me was her looks. She used to compliment me too and I her, but I always felt below her and insecure especially because my boyfriends friend pointed out she was prettier
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glowing_starfish
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(Original post by Anonymous)
Thanks aha, it just kind of sucks because I'm like well what does he see in me? I look like some gorilla, but, he thinks I'm pretty, I mean my mates kind of hype me up too, but, Idk I do struggle seeing it I guess we are our own worst critics, I do think I'm average and have nice idk lips lmfaoo?? but, it's just comparing myself to people it's a common occurrence, i don't do it often with celebrities, only with my boyfriends ex because well she was very prominent, and I always felt like I was below her or competing with her way before he even chose me. If that makes sense, I guess he kind of feels partially to blame, but, idk. I just hate feeling like that ;/ my friend once told me that I'm gorgeous and she's gorgeous in two different ways, because being pretty doesn't mean you have to look a specific way so I guess there's that
PROSM 😉
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