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want to stop seeing her because she is a smoker

Hey all,

I have been out twice now with this girl.

She is pretty nice, only problem is she is a smoker and i really cant deal with it. It makes my eyes sore and throat hurt.

Is there an easy way to say i dont want to see her anymore?

P.S. We had sex and i dont want her to think i just wanted sex then quit.

Reply 1

daniel_williams

15

well have you tried talking to her and saying that you don't like her smoking and try help her give up the habit. unless she knows you don't like it she's not just going to spontaneously stop unless she actually has reason to do so.

Reply 2

Annie72

17

I had a boyfriend that didnt like me smoking, so I just didnt do it around him or before I went to meet him.

Reply 3

ji38pkn685

Did you know she was a smoker when you first went out with her?

I don't like smokers, but I don't think I'd stop seeing one just because they smoked :/ I think you need to weigh up if she's worth it or not and then try and have a word with her, without making it sound like you're forcing her to stop? If she's perfect in practically every other way, it seems a bit weird to end it over something so trivial.

Reply 4

nuodai

17

Talk to her about it. That's what I did with my girlfriend and, although she hasn't quit, she's cut down a lot and avoids doing it around me, so it's a good compromise :smile:

Reply 5

missygeorgia

18

Ask her not to do it when you're around, simple as.

Reply 6

death.drop

16

just say you can't date a smoker. seems quite simple to me.

Reply 7

username42053

7

Say you don't like her smoking around you, and if she doesn't mind, can she not smoke around you.

Reply 8

Hisoo

13

You're going to split up with her just because you don't like her smoking? Perhaps you're doing her a favour by ending it.

Reply 9

death.drop

16

Hisoo

You're going to split up with her just because you don't like her smoking? Perhaps you're doing her a favour by ending it.

smoking is a big deal for some people. I personally would have to get on exceptionally well with a smoker to date him/her.

Reply 10

Adarah

16

puddlove

Did you know she was a smoker when you first went out with her?

I don't like smokers, but I don't think I'd stop seeing one just because they smoked :/ I think you need to weigh up if she's worth it or not and then try and have a word with her, without making it sound like you're forcing her to stop? If she's perfect in practically every other way, it seems a bit weird to end it over something so trivial.

well, it all depends if you see it as trivial as not. My boyfriend and I have had that argument. He sees it as trivial and was annoyed when I said I'd break up with him if he smoked. But his mum smokes so obviously he sees it as something trivial. He wasn't a smoker when I started going out with him, but after a holiday with smokers he was going through a pack or two a day suddenly and begging his cleaning lady for cigarettes when he ran out. He's given up now for my sake.

My grandfather died from smoking (i never knew him as a smoker, he'd already stopped before i was born), so i can never see it as trivial.If i loved them and then saw them in the same position my grandfather was in because of smoking, glued to oxygen masks 16 hours a day to survive and then dying so much before his time really... never living a long and healthy life. he did his absolute best to make me hate smoking, he told smokers not to smoke near me as a child and always reminded me never to start smoking and never to see it as anything trivial. For his memory alone I could never see is a something small and pointless. Just writing this is making me cry a lot.

My social life was ruined because of me growing up in a country where you are weird if you're 12 and not a chain smoker - and as I wasn't and refused it was very difficult for me. I cannot spend long periods of time in closes spaces with smokers, it's disgusting, hurts my eyes, my throat, my hair stinks afterwards, I get cigartte butt burns on my skin and clothes. It's horrible.

I have a very, very deep hatred of smoking, for me it's not trivial and never will be.

Reply 11

Franc Vouloir

11

Hisoo

You're going to split up with her just because you don't like her smoking? Perhaps you're doing her a favour by ending it.

Q.F.T.

Reply 12

Adarah

16

missygeorgia

Ask her not to do it when you're around, simple as.

she will still reek of smoke, her hair, her clothes, her skin and her fingers. and she'll taste really bad to kiss too. a smoking friend of mine was told by the doctors to always take his clothes of if he's had a smoke before he holds his new born baby. He always does that when he gets to see his child, because even through clothes you can be affected by second hand smoke.

Reply 13

Hisoo

13

Franc Vouloir

Q.F.T.

I'm just not down with it enough to know what stands for! In english?

Reply 14

Bagration

18

Adarah

snip

Well, you know, that sucks, to put it mildly. If you don't mind me enquiring, where were you brought up?

Reply 15

Adarah

16

Bagration

Well, you know, that sucks, to put it mildly. If you don't mind me enquiring, where were you brought up?

The German country side near the French border :woo:

, in a tabacco growing region none the less. you couldn't even go for a coffee in a cafe without coming out coughing and eyes watering. Or school. When I was 10-13 years old we had to walk through all the smokers in front of every door of the building to go play outside and if we wanted to buy food we had to stand in a smoke infested environment while queueing up for the sandwiches.
Then finally when I was 15 or so they moved the smokers to a corner of the playground, but no teacher checked how old the smokers were. They'd just join the other kids and smoke with them. If you didn't smoke you were oh so un cool and childish, obviously. and then in 6th form i couldn't use the common room, as again, it was always 100 ciggarette lit up, so I had to go to the libarary in my free periods. I lost a lot of friends that way, even though i explained to them that i couldn't be in the common room, it was too full of smoke.

apparently they have introduced some kind of semi smoking ban now, but it's had no effect, as they tried to introduce one only to please some people in Berlin, but really didn't want to bring one it. So it's ignored and the rules around when and where you can't smoke would make the ban pointless even if people obayed it.

but i had fun back at home, going out for the first time ever in the neighbouring state on the other side of the river, where they have a proper smoking ban :smile:

.

In London i hardly noticed the difference with the smoking ban to be honest. It was amazingly smoke free compared to where i was from anyway! Now i have the best social life ever, have partied loads, gone to all the clubs and bars, had room parties and house parties and have a boyfriend, it's just great living in the UK. I love it! Never want to leave this place.When someone smokes here, they ask politely first, they don't get annoyed if you ask them to smoke outside or not to smoke, they don't smoke as much anyway, so they don't stink. It's just a lot nicer.

Reply 16

ji38pkn685

Adarah

well, it all depends if you see it as trivial as not. My boyfriend and I have had that argument. He sees it as trivial and was annoyed when I said I'd break up with him if he smoked. But his mum smokes so obviously he sees it as something trivial. He wasn't a smoker when I started going out with him, but after a holiday with smokers he was going through a pack or two a day suddenly and begging his cleaning lady for cigarettes when he ran out. He's given up now for my sake.

My grandfather died from smoking (i never knew him as a smoker, he'd already stopped before i was born), so i can never see it as trivial.If i loved them and then saw them in the same position my grandfather was in because of smoking, glued to oxygen masks 16 hours a day to survive and then dying so much before his time really... never living a long and healthy life. he did his absolute best to make me hate smoking, he told smokers not to smoke near me as a child and always reminded me never to start smoking and never to see it as anything trivial. For his memory alone I could never see is a something small and pointless. Just writing this is making me cry a lot.

My social life was ruined because of me growing up in a country where you are weird if you're 12 and not a chain smoker - and as I wasn't and refused it was very difficult for me. I cannot spend long periods of time in closes spaces with smokers, it's disgusting, hurts my eyes, my throat, my hair stinks afterwards, I get cigartte butt burns on my skin and clothes. It's horrible.

I have a very, very deep hatred of smoking, for me it's not trivial and never will be.

I honestly can't be arsed reading that entire post (no offence, I'm just trying to multi-task :p:

) but I'm not a smoker and I don't like smoking either. My friend's dad died of lung cancer and he didn't stop smoking once he was diagnosed. I don't like smoking and I'd never do it myself but like I said, it's all about weighing it up. If someone is practically perfect (obviously there's no such thing as perfection but you get what I mean), to me it IS trivial to break up with them over a dirty habit, no matter how much I don't like it myself.

I'd always say talk to them about it and tell them you don't like it and in the scenario the OP described, I don't think it's much of a big deal as it doesn't sound like they're in a great relationship or anything anyway. But if they were, I wouldn't advise breaking up with someone over it, but that's just me :s-smilie:

Reply 17

Crazster

16

death.drop

just say you can't date a smoker. seems quite simple to me.

+1

I don't even start dating smokers.

Reply 18

dealbreaker

14

Smoking sex - what could be better?

Girls are really self-conscious when it comes to how they look - so I would drop hints about how smokers generally tend to age less well than non-smokers. Having said that, I know a smoking hot girl who smokes and she's absolutely gorgeous, uh huh!!!

Reply 19

Svenssen

11

Annie72

I had a boyfriend that didnt like me smoking...

I should THINK SO TOO

want to stop seeing her because she is a smoker

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