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#21
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#21
(Original post by remussjhj01)
It is really nice really like having a couple of people who know, just so if something happens, I have friends to go to as well as uni staff.
I also try hard to stay focused on the work, and it's all really interesting too, so that should make it easier to do well!
I hope you do well in your course and life in general is kind to you.
Yep, you just need a couple really good friends (quality over quantity 😬) I think the staff will definitely be supportive and I'm sure you'll do well. I'm starting my 2nd year this September - time really fly's. Thank you, it's going really well so far! I hope everything works out for you too and you'll do well at uni and make some good friends 😊
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remussjhj01
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#22
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(Original post by Anonymous)
Yep, you just need a couple really good friends (quality over quantity 😬) I think the staff will definitely be supportive and I'm sure you'll do well. I'm starting my 2nd year this September - time really fly's. Thank you, it's going really well so far! I hope everything works out for you too and you'll do well at uni and make some good friends 😊
Thank you and good luck for your second year!
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remussjhj01
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Anyone else got any more advice? Or personal experiences?
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Anonymous #4
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Just don’t go to Oxbridge. They have an awful rep with trans, bullying, and mental health.
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remussjhj01
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(Original post by Anonymous)
Just don’t go to Oxbridge. They have an awful rep with trans, bullying, and mental health.
As if I could ever get into oxbridge aha. No, I'm going to uni in London, starting in September.
I do know someone at Oxford though, and she said that, whilst there are obviously lots of issues, some of her tutors do include their pronouns in their email signature, which a really good move for unis to start making.
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Freckles5
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Sounds like an awful experience, so sorry you had to go through that. I would imagine London Unis better and more diverse, but I don’t know that. Was your first one less cityish ? You could always see how you feel when you get there? Do you feel the desire to be open but scared of reaction or do you prefer to be private but feel you have to talk about it?
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remussjhj01
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(Original post by Freckles5)
Sounds like an awful experience, so sorry you had to go through that. I would imagine London Unis better and more diverse, but I don’t know that. Was your first one less cityish ? You could always see how you feel when you get there? Do you feel the desire to be open but scared of reaction or do you prefer to be private but feel you have to talk about it?
It wasn't great, no. My old uni as a campus uni (Keele). I'm hoping London will be more accepting and diverse. I know there's big pride festivals there and there's some kind of trans pride event (not uni related) during freshers week, which I'm gonna go to (hopefully with a friend).
In the past when I've come out to people, they've misgendered me as a result (as in, I was already presenting fully male, and they addressed me as such, I came out, and they started calling me she, even after I asked them to stop). It doesn't always happen, but because the uni IS so small, I'm cautious I a). be able to be open so some and closeted to others and b). it might not be as easy to make friends in general.
When I've (tried) to keep it private from my peers, it has sometimes felt like I'm hiding something, and also sometimes makes it hard to tell some stories that involve me being trans.
I intend to be out when I start working too, so I feel like it makes sense that I am now too, it's just nerve wracking I think, as I will be on T by the time I start working, but I'm not right now.
I think seeing how I feel when I get there is a good idea. Do you think it'd be worth speaking to someone on the SU? They do have an LGBTQ+ officer, and can speak to someone on fb.
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TsRtSr1001
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(Original post by remussjhj01)
It wasn't great, no. My old uni as a campus uni (Keele). I'm hoping London will be more accepting and diverse. I know there's big pride festivals there and there's some kind of trans pride event (not uni related) during freshers week, which I'm gonna go to (hopefully with a friend).
In the past when I've come out to people, they've misgendered me as a result (as in, I was already presenting fully male, and they addressed me as such, I came out, and they started calling me she, even after I asked them to stop). It doesn't always happen, but because the uni IS so small, I'm cautious I a). be able to be open so some and closeted to others and b). it might not be as easy to make friends in general.
When I've (tried) to keep it private from my peers, it has sometimes felt like I'm hiding something, and also sometimes makes it hard to tell some stories that involve me being trans.
I intend to be out when I start working too, so I feel like it makes sense that I am now too, it's just nerve wracking I think, as I will be on T by the time I start working, but I'm not right now.
I think seeing how I feel when I get there is a good idea. Do you think it'd be worth speaking to someone on the SU? They do have an LGBTQ+ officer, and can speak to someone on fb.
It may be worth it yes. If someone I was talking to/friend/flat mate/lab partner/etc told me they were trans I’d be humbled that they trust me with that and feel safe with me, and I’d be glad that they feel confident enough to tell me, but overall it wouldn’t bother me as they’d still be the same person they were before they told me. I hope that you get a happy reception.
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remussjhj01
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#29
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(Original post by TsRtSr1001)
It may be worth it yes. If someone I was talking to/friend/flat mate/lab partner/etc told me they were trans I’d be humbled that they trust me with that and feel safe with me, and I’d be glad that they feel confident enough to tell me, but overall it wouldn’t bother me as they’d still be the same person they were before they told me. I hope that you get a happy reception.
Thank you! I'll give them a message tomorrow and see what they say.
I'm glad you're a trustworthy person to come out to, that's really important to us trans folk, as some people can't be trusted with that information (hence my issues at Keele).
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MrChill
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(Original post by remussjhj01)
Hey, so I'm a transgender man, and I'm starting uni in September (just over a month left!) and I am beyond excited. However, I've been debating whether or not to be openly trans. There are pros and cons for both sides, but I tried being in the closet last year, except for a few other trans guys the uni connected me with for support. I found that I was consistently outed though, and it was one of the contributing factors that led to me dropping out. I REALLY don't want that to happen again, because I LOVE the uni I'm going to, but don't want to feel unsafe. The uni does seem to be very trans friendly.
Does anyone have any experience being openly trans at uni? Specifically in London?
(I've not medically transitioned yet, but do pass pretty well considering).
Thanks (also any bs will be reported).
I am not trans or part of LGBTQ so wouldn't know but met people from LGBTQ community. Be yourself- it's 2020 and no one should give a fudge. You might get a few pigs looking and making snaky comments but it's their ignorance that will need reeducating rather than change of your getup. There are people of all kinds, races, etc at uni and you will be surprised at how tolerant people are if you expand your horizon and make friends with them. Best of luck, man.
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remussjhj01
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(Original post by MrChill)
I am not trans or part of LGBTQ so wouldn't know but met people from LGBTQ community. Be yourself- it's 2020 and no one should give a fudge. You might get a few pigs looking and making snaky comments but it's their ignorance that will need reeducating rather than change of your getup. There are people of all kinds, races, etc at uni and you will be surprised at how tolerant people are if you expand your horizon and make friends with them. Best of luck, man.
Unfortunately, people can be quite cruel, despite the fact it IS 2020. I am hoping that uni is as accepting as people claim it to be, especially in London, which I've been told should work in my favour.
Thank you for your support though, allies are always appreciated!
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Dechante
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I'm not trans but my best friend is also a transgender man at Durham university. He came out to me in July last year, started uni September but never came out until November. He was so scared to come out because he heard all these things like people are transphobic and homophobic up north especially at a uni full of ''posh oxbridge rejects'' but he said the support he got was amazing and he hasn't had a bad experience. Like you, he hasn't medically transitioned and only just got T last month. I think going to London is a great choice too especially because of the diversity.

Sorry, I'm not trans and I don't want to sound ignorant like I know what it's like. However, I just want to say even though we don't know each other I'm proud of you and I hope you have the best time at uni
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remussjhj01
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(Original post by Dechante)
I'm not trans but my best friend is also a transgender man at Durham university. He came out to me in July last year, started uni September but never came out until November. He was so scared to come out because he heard all these things like people are transphobic and homophobic up north especially at a uni full of ''posh oxbridge rejects'' but he said the support he got was amazing and he hasn't had a bad experience. Like you, he hasn't medically transitioned and only just got T last month. I think going to London is a great choice too especially because of the diversity.

Sorry, I'm not trans and I don't want to sound ignorant like I know what it's like. However, I just want to say even though we don't know each other I'm proud of you and I hope you have the best time at uni
That's so great for your friend! And amazing he's managed to get on T so early (how'd he do that, I'm not expecting to until I'm 21).
You don't sound ignorant, don't worry. Second hand accounts are still really useful!
Thank you so much for your support! As I said before, allies are always greatly appreciated!
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Dechante
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(Original post by remussjhj01)
That's so great for your friend! And amazing he's managed to get on T so early (how'd he do that, I'm not expecting to until I'm 21).
You don't sound ignorant, don't worry. Second hand accounts are still really useful!
Thank you so much for your support! As I said before, allies are always greatly appreciated!
The NHS waiting list was two years so he went private to skip the queue unfortunately it's ridiculous how expensive it is just for an appointment
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remussjhj01
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#35
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(Original post by Dechante)
The NHS waiting list was two years so he went private to skip the queue unfortunately it's ridiculous how expensive it is just for an appointment
It's three years now. Such a joke.
But yeah, going private is the way to go if you can afford it (£300 per appt though 🙄).
Good for your friend though!
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conorellis42
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#36
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(Original post by remussjhj01)
Hey, so I'm a transgender man, and I'm starting uni in September (just over a month left!) and I am beyond excited. However, I've been debating whether or not to be openly trans. There are pros and cons for both sides, but I tried being in the closet last year, except for a few other trans guys the uni connected me with for support. I found that I was consistently outed though, and it was one of the contributing factors that led to me dropping out. I REALLY don't want that to happen again, because I LOVE the uni I'm going to, but don't want to feel unsafe. The uni does seem to be very trans friendly.
Does anyone have any experience being openly trans at uni? Specifically in London?
(I've not medically transitioned yet, but do pass pretty well considering).
Thanks (also any bs will be reported).
I'm cool with transgender people (I don't really know any, but I am all for lgbt rights!) I'm not sure about the general attitude towards them in this country, though. I would speak to the student support services of your uni or the student union and seek some advice from them
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remussjhj01
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(Original post by conorellis42)
I'm cool with transgender people (I don't really know any, but I am all for lgbt rights!) I'm not sure about the general attitude towards them in this country, though. I would speak to the student support services of your uni or the student union and seek some advice from them
Well, the UK is pretty transphobic (considering it's legal to be trans etc), but I'm somewhat unsure about whether a uni environment might be different (in a good way).
I did speak to someone in the SU today. They said that the uni is taking steps to be more trans inclusive. They're planning on offering students pronoun badges, as well as encouraging everyone to include their pronouns in their email signatures. They also offered to put me in contact with the LGBTQ+ officer, who I THINK is non-binary (I've only seen they/them pronouns used for them).
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conorellis42
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(Original post by remussjhj01)
Well, the UK is pretty transphobic (considering it's legal to be trans etc), but I'm somewhat unsure about whether a uni environment might be different (in a good way).
I did speak to someone in the SU today. They said that the uni is taking steps to be more trans inclusive. They're planning on offering students pronoun badges, as well as encouraging everyone to include their pronouns in their email signatures. They also offered to put me in contact with the LGBTQ+ officer, who I THINK is non-binary (I've only seen they/them pronouns used for them).
I think so too, most people don't really get it for some reason. But that does sound quite progressive compared to a lot of unis! It might be different in a good way if they are inclusive in that manner
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remussjhj01
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(Original post by conorellis42)
I think so too, most people don't really get it for some reason. But that does sound quite progressive compared to a lot of unis! It might be different in a good way if they are inclusive in that manner
Yeah, unfortunately a lot of people just aren't empathetic to it. I don't expect cis people to understand, because they obviously don't experience it, but that doesn't mean it's not real.
I'm hoping so! It does sound really positive!
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remussjhj01
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Heya folks. Thanks for all your answers. I've spoken to the SU president and LGBTQ+ officer. What I think I'll do is be openly trans, but not necessarily 'come out'. I'm going to have a flag up in my room, and I wear a pronoun+trans flag badge, plus I'm going to some protests/pride stuff the week I get there, so I might invite some people along to that if I make friends in time.
This is what I'm planning to do when I start teaching too (wear a pronoun badge and have a couple LGBTQ+ flags in a pen pot), so I think it makes sense to try it now.
I'll be totally openly trans within the LGBTQ+ soc too.
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