Confused about this guy

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Anonymous #1
#1
Report Thread starter 4 days ago
#1
Basically, I've known this guy for a 1 and a half years. We met online and ever since then we've been in a 'relationship'. We live hours away from each other, so its not like we can see each other in person all the time.

Anyway, since December he's started ghosting me for weeks, then will only reply to my messages after 4 or so weeks :/ I know this probably means he's not interested in me anymore - I've literally told him multiple times that if he doesnt like me anymore then we should stop talking, but then he says 'no i still want to be with you, i really like you and youre funny and smart and beautiful and just my type' blah blah blah, which always stopped me from leaving. But in March I blocked him as I was getting tired of his actions contradicting his words, and we havent spoken since. The thing is, I STILL miss him what is wrong with me? What should I do? Should I get in contact with him again?

I should also add that I get the feeling that he only likes me for my body. Whenever we did manage to talk he'd always want me to send him pictures. I didnt want to, but caved every time because i felt like that was the only way i could keep him talking to me. I brought this up the last few times we talked (in February/March) but he denied it and said he likes me for the person I am, not just for my body. I'm so confused
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pjw98
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#2
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Hey,

I think you should take a no-nonsense approach because this dude has clearly taken the piss with you. I think he has taken the piss because of his lack of attention with you. The golden rule is that relationships are a two-way street, both parties must give it 100%. If not, it will fail. Moving onto my next point, do not think this is because of you. It's normal to feel it's your fault and that you'll find no else. Ask yourself, what about him made you want him in your life? Whatever that is, many other men and boys will also have those qualities, if not more and better. Overall, I suggest you do not reach out and stick to your guns because he clearly has not seen your worth. The fact you did not want to send pictures, but did for his approval and receive the impression that he was only interested because of your body really summons up my advice. If you were unhappy, take this opportunity to enjoy being single and find yourself. Someone will love you, one day.

I wish you all the best,
Peter
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Abzzz57
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#3
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(Original post by Anonymous)
Basically, I've known this guy for a 1 and a half years. We met online and ever since then we've been in a 'relationship'. We live hours away from each other, so its not like we can see each other in person all the time.

Anyway, since December he's started ghosting me for weeks, then will only reply to my messages after 4 or so weeks :/ I know this probably means he's not interested in me anymore - I've literally told him multiple times that if he doesnt like me anymore then we should stop talking, but then he says 'no i still want to be with you, i really like you and youre funny and smart and beautiful and just my type' blah blah blah, which always stopped me from leaving. But in March I blocked him as I was getting tired of his actions contradicting his words, and we havent spoken since. The thing is, I STILL miss him what is wrong with me? What should I do? Should I get in contact with him again?

I should also add that I get the feeling that he only likes me for my body. Whenever we did manage to talk he'd always want me to send him pictures. I didnt want to, but caved every time because i felt like that was the only way i could keep him talking to me. I brought this up the last few times we talked (in February/March) but he denied it and said he likes me for the person I am, not just for my body. I'm so confused
Hi, I'm sorry you went through him ignoring you for weeks on end, the thing that stands out is you blocked him in march but I'm guessing he hadn't tried to reach out to you through other forms of social media etc? Unfortunately, if he hasn't made any additional effort then I think you made the right decision..

Time is literally the only thing that will help you heal, try and distract yourself and build up to bring open to a new relationship, think of they way he treated you and try and move on... I know it's hard and I wish you the best of luck!
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Anonymous #1
#4
Report Thread starter 4 days ago
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(Original post by pjw98)
Hey,

I think you should take a no-nonsense approach because this dude has clearly taken the piss with you. I think he has taken the piss because of his lack of attention with you. The golden rule is that relationships are a two-way street, both parties must give it 100%. If not, it will fail. Moving onto my next point, do not think this is because of you. It's normal to feel it's your fault and that you'll find no else. Ask yourself, what about him made you want him in your life? Whatever that is, many other men and boys will also have those qualities, if not more and better. Overall, I suggest you do not reach out and stick to your guns because he clearly has not seen your worth. The fact you did not want to send pictures, but did for his approval and receive the impression that he was only interested because of your body really summons up my advice. If you were unhappy, take this opportunity to enjoy being single and find yourself. Someone will love you, one day.

I wish you all the best,
Peter
Thank you for the advice Peter, this is all so helpful. I think its just that he's the first person I truly truly felt attracted to, in all aspects: emotionally, intellectually and physically. I find something is always missing when I meet new people, its just not the same as being with him. For reference, I'm 20 and he's 25, and I think a big part of me was, and still is attracted to the fact that he's more mature than most guys my age.
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Anonymous #1
#5
Report Thread starter 4 days ago
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(Original post by Abzzz57)
Hi, I'm sorry you went through him ignoring you for weeks on end, the thing that stands out is you blocked him in march but I'm guessing he hadn't tried to reach out to you through other forms of social media etc? Unfortunately, if he hasn't made any additional effort then I think you made the right decision..

Time is literally the only thing that will help you heal, try and distract yourself and build up to bring open to a new relationship, think of they way he treated you and try and move on... I know it's hard and I wish you the best of luck!
Hi, thank you. No, we both dont have any forms of social media so there really wasn't another way for him to contact me, unless he came straight to my doorstep! Lol

And you're right, I just need to remember that I shouldnt be treated that way. I think I subconsciously know that, but its hard to let go of all the emotions I have tied up in association with him.
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Abzzz57
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(Original post by Anonymous)
Hi, thank you. No, we both dont have any forms of social media so there really wasn't another way for him to contact me, unless he came straight to my doorstep! Lol

And you're right, I just need to remember that I shouldnt be treated that way. I think I subconsciously know that, but its hard to let go of all the emotions I have tied up in association with him.
Hi, ah okay, yeah it would be difficult for him to contact you then, but as you've said he didn't treat you right and hopefully with time it gets a bit easier, you've taken the first step with blocking him so hopefully it won't take much longer to deal with it!
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Anonymous #1
#7
Report Thread starter 4 days ago
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(Original post by Abzzz57)
Hi, ah okay, yeah it would be difficult for him to contact you then, but as you've said he didn't treat you right and hopefully with time it gets a bit easier, you've taken the first step with blocking him so hopefully it won't take much longer to deal with it!
I wish I could stop feeling these feelings right away!! Haha
But yes, time is necessary, and hopefully with uni opening back up soon I will have something to occupy myself with
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Abzzz57
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(Original post by Anonymous)
I wish I could stop feeling these feelings right away!! Haha
But yes, time is necessary, and hopefully with uni opening back up soon I will have something to occupy myself with
If only it was that easy!! Yes definitely hopefully uni will help!
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