Does he just want my body? - Confused about this guy

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Anonymous #1
#1
Report Thread starter 6 days ago
#1
(Wanted a more catchy title so I can actually get some answers lol - pls ignore a similar thread I made a few minutes ago)

Basically, I've known this guy for 1 and a half years. We met online and ever since then we've been in a 'relationship'. We live hours away from each other, so its not like we can see each other in person all the time.

Anyway, since December he's started ghosting me for weeks, then will only reply to my messages after 4 or so weeks :/ I know this probably means he's not interested in me anymore - I've literally told him multiple times that if he doesnt like me anymore then we should stop talking, but then he says 'no i still want to be with you, i really like you and youre funny and smart and beautiful and just my type' blah blah blah, which always stopped me from leaving. But in March I blocked him as I was getting tired of his actions contradicting his words, and we havent spoken since. The thing is, I STILL miss him https://static.thestudentroom.co.uk/...lies/frown.png what is wrong with me? What should I do? Should I get in contact with him again?

I should also add that I get the feeling that he only likes me for my body. Whenever we did manage to talk he'd always want me to send him pictures. I didnt want to, but caved every time because i felt like that was the only way i could keep him talking to me. I brought this up the last few times we talked (in February/March) but he denied it and said he likes me for the person I am, not just for my body. I'm so confused
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londonmyst
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#2
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#2
Trust your gut instinct.
There are plenty more fish in the dating sea, many of whom will be swimming in your direction and very keen to get to know you.
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Adz2042
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#3
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When a guy ghosts someone for weeks without a word, it's usually a sign they've lost interest.
You should walk away, even though it's hard the first few days/week to do so.

what is wrong with me? - nothing is wrong, you're just missing a thing called 'attention' and he must have given you plenty of it.
What should I do? - find someone else / your friends / family to give you attention and be there for you when you need it.
Should I get in contact with him again? - i would advise you don't, as he'll only string you along again.
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Anonymous #1
#4
Report Thread starter 6 days ago
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(Original post by londonmyst)
Trust your gut instinct.
There are plenty more fish in the dating sea, many of whom will be swimming in your direction and very keen to get to know you.
Aw thats true, and I think I subconsciously know I need to let him go but its difficult
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Anonymous #1
#5
Report Thread starter 6 days ago
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(Original post by Adz2042)
When a guy ghosts someone for weeks without a word, it's usually a sign they've lost interest.
You should walk away, even though it's hard the first few days/week to do so.

what is wrong with me? - nothing is wrong, you're just missing a thing called 'attention' and he must have given you plenty of it.
What should I do? - find someone else / your friends / family to give you attention and be there for you when you need it.
Should I get in contact with him again? - i would advise you don't, as he'll only string you along again.
Thank you! You're right, I was craving attention and that is exactly what he gave me. Though I am surprised and quite proud that I havent gone back to him! Which is quite a sad thing to say when I think about this whole situation objectively.
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Anonymous #2
#6
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#6
Whatever you do, do NOT message him again. You've done the best thing in blocking him.

I was in the exact same situation as you were in. Trust me-2 years on I'm so happy I took the actions I did.

He wants you around so when he's bored or no one else is replying-you are there, you are always there. He was having his cake and eating it. Good on you for the self love and putting yourself first! You don't miss him-you miss the routine and how you talked and having that person to talk to. You don't need someone like him in your life. If you go back-he's got you exactly where he wants you. Because he knows you will always return. It's all ********. Respect yourself and keep him out of your life.
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Anonymous #2
#7
Report 6 days ago
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(Original post by Anonymous)
Thank you! You're right, I was craving attention and that is exactly what he gave me. Though I am surprised and quite proud that I havent gone back to him! Which is quite a sad thing to say when I think about this whole situation objectively.
It's not sad at all. You got away from a toxic person and situation and haven't gone back-it's one of the hardest things to do. I've been there. You should be so proud of yourself tbh. Don't even think to yourself oh I'm better now, I'll just see how he is or whatever-no contact at all = a healthier mind.
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Adz2042
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#8
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(Original post by Anonymous)
Thank you! You're right, I was craving attention and that is exactly what he gave me. Though I am surprised and quite proud that I havent gone back to him! Which is quite a sad thing to say when I think about this whole situation objectively.
If you ever need to talk about something, or get something off your mind, the message box between us is that place.
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kekedoyouloveme?
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#9
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#9
(Original post by Anonymous)
(Wanted a more catchy title so I can actually get some answers lol - pls ignore a similar thread I made a few minutes ago)

Basically, I've known this guy for 1 and a half years. We met online and ever since then we've been in a 'relationship'. We live hours away from each other, so its not like we can see each other in person all the time.

Anyway, since December he's started ghosting me for weeks, then will only reply to my messages after 4 or so weeks :/ I know this probably means he's not interested in me anymore - I've literally told him multiple times that if he doesnt like me anymore then we should stop talking, but then he says 'no i still want to be with you, i really like you and youre funny and smart and beautiful and just my type' blah blah blah, which always stopped me from leaving. But in March I blocked him as I was getting tired of his actions contradicting his words, and we havent spoken since. The thing is, I STILL miss him https://static.thestudentroom.co.uk/...lies/frown.png what is wrong with me? What should I do? Should I get in contact with him again?

I should also add that I get the feeling that he only likes me for my body. Whenever we did manage to talk he'd always want me to send him pictures. I didnt want to, but caved every time because i felt like that was the only way i could keep him talking to me. I brought this up the last few times we talked (in February/March) but he denied it and said he likes me for the person I am, not just for my body. I'm so confused
Do not contact him, if he want's to be in your life and make a good impression, he'd have done so by now, or he'd have found another way, unless that was his only social media presence, in which case unblock for a week, don't message don't post, just see if he realises and makes an effort? idek. As londonmyst said always go with your gut instinct, if you think he doesn't like you then let him remain blocked and move on, and plenty of fish in the sea rightly so!
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Anonymous #1
#10
Report Thread starter 6 days ago
#10
(Original post by Anonymous)
Whatever you do, do NOT message him again. You've done the best thing in blocking him.

I was in the exact same situation as you were in. Trust me-2 years on I'm so happy I took the actions I did.

He wants you around so when he's bored or no one else is replying-you are there, you are always there. He was having his cake and eating it. Good on you for the self love and putting yourself first! You don't miss him-you miss the routine and how you talked and having that person to talk to. You don't need someone like him in your life. If you go back-he's got you exactly where he wants you. Because he knows you will always return. It's all ********. Respect yourself and keep him out of your life.
(Original post by Anonymous)
It's not sad at all. You got away from a toxic person and situation and haven't gone back-it's one of the hardest things to do. I've been there. You should be so proud of yourself tbh. Don't even think to yourself oh I'm better now, I'll just see how he is or whatever-no contact at all = a healthier mind.
Thank you so much, its nice hearing from someone who was in the same situation as me, though I'm sad to hear that this happened to you too. Its good to hear youre in a better place now. And you are on point in saying that he knew I was always there, so I guess he took advantage of that tbh I am happy that I no longer have this constant thought on my mind, wondering 'has he contacted me yet??' - its definitely liberating
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Anonymous #1
#11
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#11
(Original post by kekedoyouloveme?)
Do not contact him, if he want's to be in your life and make a good impression, he'd have done so by now, or he'd have found another way, unless that was his only social media presence, in which case unblock for a week, don't message don't post, just see if he realises and makes an effort? idek. As londonmyst said always go with your gut instinct, if you think he doesn't like you then let him remain blocked and move on, and plenty of fish in the sea rightly so!
Yeah unfortunately we both dont have any other forms of social media (that I know of, at least). At this point I dont even think he'll realise that I've unblocked him, and I dont know if I want to open up that line of communication again. Its just hard, he was everything I look for in a guy, and was the first guy I was actually fully attracted to all aspects - it feels like I let a good catch go!
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kekedoyouloveme?
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#12
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(Original post by Anonymous)
Yeah unfortunately we both dont have any other forms of social media (that I know of, at least). At this point I dont even think he'll realise that I've unblocked him, and I dont know if I want to open up that line of communication again. Its just hard, he was everything I look for in a guy, and was the first guy I was actually fully attracted to all aspects - it feels like I let a good catch go!
Was this recently he's been starting to act like this, or were their always signs you brushed off. And aw, plenty of fish in the sea
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Anonymous #2
#13
Report 6 days ago
#13
(Original post by Anonymous)
Yeah unfortunately we both dont have any other forms of social media (that I know of, at least). At this point I dont even think he'll realise that I've unblocked him, and I dont know if I want to open up that line of communication again. Its just hard, he was everything I look for in a guy, and was the first guy I was actually fully attracted to all aspects - it feels like I let a good catch go!
(Original post by Anonymous)
Thank you so much, its nice hearing from someone who was in the same situation as me, though I'm sad to hear that this happened to you too. Its good to hear youre in a better place now. And you are on point in saying that he knew I was always there, so I guess he took advantage of that tbh I am happy that I no longer have this constant thought on my mind, wondering 'has he contacted me yet??' - its definitely liberating
No he wasn't. Because you don't want a guy who only wants you for your body-or will mess you around and make you feel like you aren't enough. You didn't let a good catch go because he didn't respect you. That's not a good catch. It does take a while to mentally process but I promise it will get better. This happened with me-similar situation (was online) he behaved exactly the same and my mental health just went. Then all of a sudden he was in a relationship with someone from USA (who was coming to visit him etc) and he really rubbed it in. This was after telling me he didn't want to be with anyone (after ignoring me other than to sext for weeks). Turns out, he was catfished. It was a man pretending to be a woman. When i tell you that I cry-laughed. Now, I still regularly get messages from people saying that he's asking them where I am etc. You would think being blocked on every messaging app known to man would give a hint but *rolls eyes* I'm actually so proud of you for not opening up the line of communication!
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Anonymous #1
#14
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#14
(Original post by kekedoyouloveme?)
Was this recently he's been starting to act like this, or were their always signs you brushed off. And aw, plenty of fish in the sea
I mean, up until September last year we would talk almost every day, at the very least once a week, then from September to December he started messaging less often, so we'd go a couple weeks without talking, and then we'd go back to normal again, and this cycle would repeat. But since December its only been once every 4 weeks. He said he was busy at work, but he always worked crazy shifts and would still find time to talk to me. And before September he would still ask me for pictures, but it certainly wasnt every time we talked, and I was fine with it at the time because I think that intimacy is necessary in a relationship. But then later on he'd ask me every time, and then make an excuse to leave, like 'im really tired, i have to go to sleep' so I dont know what caused this shift ://

Anyway, I think its time to move on and venture into the sea, so to speak!
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kekedoyouloveme?
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(Original post by Anonymous)
I mean, up until September last year we would talk almost every day, at the very least once a week, then from September to December he started messaging less often, so we'd go a couple weeks without talking, and then we'd go back to normal again, and this cycle would repeat. But since December its only been once every 4 weeks. He said he was busy at work, but he always worked crazy shifts and would still find time to talk to me. And before September he would still ask me for pictures, but it certainly wasnt every time we talked, and I was fine with it at the time because I think that intimacy is necessary in a relationship. But then later on he'd ask me every time, and then make an excuse to leave, like 'im really tired, i have to go to sleep' so I dont know what caused this shift ://

Anyway, I think its time to move on and venture into the sea, so to speak!
Aw, that sounds like he just lost interest, and sort of like loosed out, or he saw what he liked and so kept asking you only for that, that sounds so peak, it happens though, and the best thing you can do, is move on and find your worth by yourself. It could also be he's probably like this with every girl he could talk to.
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beyhive1
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#16
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I think he isn't interested to commit to be in something more serious - a relationship. Guys like that just want to mess around with girls they find attractive. I think he's attracted to you that's why he's not fully letting go but he has you on a leash. Forget about him and live your life unapologetically. There's many guys out there you'll find a better one that will gravitate towards you because of your beauty AND personality. NEVER chase a guy believe me I've learnt that lesson through my own experience.
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Anonymous #1
#17
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#17
(Original post by Anonymous)
No he wasn't. Because you don't want a guy who only wants you for your body-or will mess you around and make you feel like you aren't enough. You didn't let a good catch go because he didn't respect you. That's not a good catch. It does take a while to mentally process but I promise it will get better. This happened with me-similar situation (was online) he behaved exactly the same and my mental health just went. Then all of a sudden he was in a relationship with someone from USA (who was coming to visit him etc) and he really rubbed it in. This was after telling me he didn't want to be with anyone (after ignoring me other than to sext for weeks). Turns out, he was catfished. It was a man pretending to be a woman. When i tell you that I cry-laughed. Now, I still regularly get messages from people saying that he's asking them where I am etc. You would think being blocked on every messaging app known to man would give a hint but *rolls eyes* I'm actually so proud of you for not opening up the line of communication!
Thank youuu, I needed this. That is actually quite funny haha, he got what he deserved I think! Whats really confusing to me is that he's never said to me that he doesnt want me, he always said that he didnt want to lose me and that he liked speaking with me and all these other nice things, even when he ghosted me for weeks on end and I confronted him about it.
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999tigger
Badges: 19
#18
Report 6 days ago
#18
(Original post by Anonymous)
(Wanted a more catchy title so I can actually get some answers lol - pls ignore a similar thread I made a few minutes ago)

Basically, I've known this guy for 1 and a half years. We met online and ever since then we've been in a 'relationship'. We live hours away from each other, so its not like we can see each other in person all the time.

Anyway, since December he's started ghosting me for weeks, then will only reply to my messages after 4 or so weeks :/ I know this probably means he's not interested in me anymore - I've literally told him multiple times that if he doesnt like me anymore then we should stop talking, but then he says 'no i still want to be with you, i really like you and youre funny and smart and beautiful and just my type' blah blah blah, which always stopped me from leaving. But in March I blocked him as I was getting tired of his actions contradicting his words, and we havent spoken since. The thing is, I STILL miss him https://static.thestudentroom.co.uk/...lies/frown.png what is wrong with me? What should I do? Should I get in contact with him again?

I should also add that I get the feeling that he only likes me for my body. Whenever we did manage to talk he'd always want me to send him pictures. I didnt want to, but caved every time because i felt like that was the only way i could keep him talking to me. I brought this up the last few times we talked (in February/March) but he denied it and said he likes me for the person I am, not just for my body. I'm so confused
So you havent slept with each other but you send him nudes?
How old are you both?
You say you are in a relationship and call yourself bf and gf? You are exclusive?


Sounds to me like the dumping time should have been back at Christmas when he stopped talking to you?
People can stay in a relationship because they are bored. it suits them?
Sounds to me like you are quite naive and easy to manipulate?

I would call it a day, realise hes just using you, he isnt your friend and them move on. Find someone else who also has an interest in talking to you rather than just wanting nudes. Seems like you can tell easily because he wont take well to you saying no and once he realises he isnt getting nudes he will either pressure, split up or stop speaking to you.
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Anonymous #1
#19
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(Original post by beyhive1)
I think he isn't interested to commit to be in something more serious - a relationship. Guys like that just want to mess around with girls they find attractive. I think he's attracted to you that's why he's not fully letting go but he has you on a leash. Forget about him and live your life unapologetically. There's many guys out there you'll find a better one that will gravitate towards you because of your beauty AND personality. NEVER chase a guy believe me I've learnt that lesson through my own experience.
Hi! That makes sense, thank you.

Chasing him did make my mental health plummet, and just made me constantly question myself.
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999tigger
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#20
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#20
(Original post by londonmyst)
Trust your gut instinct.
There are plenty more fish in the dating sea, many of whom will be swimming in your direction and very keen to get to know you.
Piranhas are like that.
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