Can't get a date or a girlfriend

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Anonymous #1
#41
Report Thread starter 4 days ago
#41
(Original post by Anonymous)
Sex is overrated. Relationships are overrated.
Relationships potentially, but good ones I'd think are decent.

Sex is probably overrated to people who haven't really explored it, i.e virgins like myself
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Anonymous #1
#42
Report Thread starter 4 days ago
#42
(Original post by Anonymous)
Makes sense. Look, you actually seem like a decent guy, just very lonely. Its a tough one. Youve just got to wait it out. Right now is possibly one of the worst times to be dating anyway. Good luck!
Thanks that's nice of you to say so. It's a weird time, but I think slowly and surely by next year we'll be seeing a near normal which will also mean more dating, hookups, etc. I'll keep my chin up and see what else I can do, thanks again!
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Anonymous #1
#43
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#43
Would be good to hear from people in a similar situation too
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2jz_kyle
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#44
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#44
Mate. I'm finished in my first year of uni and got rejected by a girl I really liked but I used that to bounce back. Btw , not tryna brag or anything but I've focused hard on my academics and at end of first year , I'm at the top of my class. I'm a virgin also but what does it matter man ?

Drive or channel all that sexual energy you have into excelling at other things. Your academics for example and to gain lots of money ( people can't resist someone who is independent and success). You already seem like a very intelligent guy.

Life ain't about having relationships and ****ing man. Just let that thought go and learn to enjoy other things. Go to the gym. Get ripped, meditate and find inner peace with yourself and ensure that YOU CAN MAKE YOURSELF HAPPY. I really think it's a lack of self esteem that is causing this issue. Get new clothes and go to he gym to build self esteem.

I know it will seem hard because believe me, I'm west Indian ( from the Caribbean) so I don't exactly fit in well it have much luck with white girls ( who I like) but don't use that as a reason to feel sorry for yourself. Get up, make a change and focus on your purpose and mission as a man. And that's when pussy will come to you naturally mate.
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Anonymous #7
#45
Report 4 days ago
#45
Awe well from a girl’s perspective maybe try going out more with your friends to clubs, or just adding friends of friends through social media. A lot of hookups or friends with benefits does lead to relationships. I could only think of doing new activities to meet people or keep trying with the online dating.
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Anonymous #1
#46
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#46
(Original post by Anonymous)
Awe well from a girl’s perspective maybe try going out more with your friends to clubs, or just adding friends of friends through social media. A lot of hookups or friends with benefits does lead to relationships. I could only think of doing new activities to meet people or keep trying with the online dating.
See I tried that throughout uni, but found I had the wrong friends that also didn't appreciate my hobbies or music taste. My friends' previous girlfriends have all been acquaintances and seemed uninterested in setting me up with their girl friends.

I've added people through instagram but it would look a bit strange if I were to message them out of the blue when they barely know me. Also fine with having a hookup but again the virginity thing is a big obstacle to overcome first and many girls won't really want to get involved in a situation like mine.

Online dating I find sucks for average looking guys, especially brown or asian guys. New activities would be good if lockdown wasn't currently on aha
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blackugo
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#47
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#47
(Original post by Anonymous)
Like if I found someone who I clicked with personality wise from my race, I would but hasn't been the case in the past. Just think I get along better with white girls, but I know dating on those preferences will be a tough one
Have the girls you been going for been with Asian men of your type before? They might say they are open or "don't discriminate" but this tends to be a lie. And if you are a "5/10 for an Asian" and not their preference the odds are stacked against you.

I have an Indian friend who likes white girls but they tend to just not like Indians in that sense. It's annoying that its a thing but its a thing.
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Anonymous #1
#48
Report Thread starter 4 days ago
#48
(Original post by blackugo)
Have the girls you been going for been with Asian men of your type before? They might say they are open or "don't discriminate" but this tends to be a lie. And if you are a "5/10 for an Asian" and not their preference the odds are stacked against you.

I have an Indian friend who likes white girls but they tend to just not like Indians in that sense. It's annoying that its a thing but its a thing.
Well I don't know because I haven't asked about their dating history, but get the sense that most of those girls in uni hadn't because they were from more isolated parts of the UK. The 'don't discriminate' thing tends to be the case to either avoid guilt or rings true if you are actually very attractive for someone of your race.

Yeah a lot of white girls have preconceived ideas about Indians without actually getting to know them and certainly don't see them in a romantic/sexual way. Black guys seem to do a bit better here..
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Anonymous #1
#49
Report Thread starter 4 days ago
#49
(Original post by 2jz_kyle)
Mate. I'm finished in my first year of uni and got rejected by a girl I really liked but I used that to bounce back. Btw , not tryna brag or anything but I've focused hard on my academics and at end of first year , I'm at the top of my class. I'm a virgin also but what does it matter man ?

Drive or channel all that sexual energy you have into excelling at other things. Your academics for example and to gain lots of money ( people can't resist someone who is independent and success). You already seem like a very intelligent guy.

Life ain't about having relationships and ****ing man. Just let that thought go and learn to enjoy other things. Go to the gym. Get ripped, meditate and find inner peace with yourself and ensure that YOU CAN MAKE YOURSELF HAPPY. I really think it's a lack of self esteem that is causing this issue. Get new clothes and go to he gym to build self esteem.

I know it will seem hard because believe me, I'm west Indian ( from the Caribbean) so I don't exactly fit in well it have much luck with white girls ( who I like) but don't use that as a reason to feel sorry for yourself. Get up, make a change and focus on your purpose and mission as a man. And that's when pussy will come to you naturally mate.
You seem to have a head on your shoulders mate, so you if anything should be proud of yourself. I had a friend in uni like you who was constantly doing internship applications and studying but although he went out a few times and got with some girls, he graduated with a well deserved First. Virginity isn't a massive deal, but the uni culture has you believe that it's the be all or end all unfortunately because everything seems to revolve around sex from the age of say 16 to 21/22.

Well I got a 2:1 so pretty pleased with that and now trying to see the possible avenues I can reach after the masters to get a stable job. Might be moving to the city (London) whilst the masters is going on, so hopefully I get a better feel of independence which can help drive me towards getting/saving for my own place in a few years time. The gym will take some time, but hopefully it all pays off and heightens my self-confidence; you might be right about a lack of self esteem. Just spent a few hundred on clothes so that's pretty much taken care of.

That makes a lot of sense as white girls generally at uni seem to stick in their own circles, especially the ones from smaller towns or rural villages (it annoyed me when people like that complained about international students not integrating when they themselves didn't). Will continue re-evaluating my position, my goals and where I need to be so hopefully the woman front won't be as hard someday!
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blackugo
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#50
Report 4 days ago
#50
(Original post by Anonymous)
Well I don't know because I haven't asked about their dating history, but get the sense that most of those girls in uni hadn't because they were from more isolated parts of the UK. The 'don't discriminate' thing tends to be the case to either avoid guilt or rings true if you are actually very attractive for someone of your race.

Yeah a lot of white girls have preconceived ideas about Indians without actually getting to know them and certainly don't see them in a romantic/sexual way. Black guys seem to do a bit better here..
Even for black people face the same issue although not to the same extent and there's a huge amount of colourism. There's also the race fetish thing and the "I want light skin" thing babies which is just disturbing. It's also shocking to hear about all the racism that happens within relationships.
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Anonymous #8
#51
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#51
I’m not an expert by any means, but don’t put to much pressure on yourself to find someone. Your still young, and you may meat many more people either through your masters program or through what you choose to do after.

Don’t underestimate yourself, your doing a masters, so you must be intelligent (which many people find an attractive trait). Also physical attractiveness cannot be quantified, there’s no such thing as a 1/10 or 10/10, different people find different things attractive.

Best of luck with your masters
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Anonymous #1
#52
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#52
(Original post by blackugo)
Even for black people face the same issue although not to the same extent and there's a huge amount of colourism. There's also the race fetish thing and the "I want light skin" thing babies which is just disturbing. It's also shocking to hear about all the racism that happens within relationships.
Yeah I totally agree, there's a lot of discrimination going on even in this day and age. Never got the race fetish thing, such as a lot of white men specifically liking East Asian girls, etc.
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Anonymous #1
#53
Report Thread starter 4 days ago
#53
(Original post by Anonymous)
I’m not an expert by any means, but don’t put to much pressure on yourself to find someone. Your still young, and you may meat many more people either through your masters program or through what you choose to do after.

Don’t underestimate yourself, your doing a masters, so you must be intelligent (which many people find an attractive trait). Also physical attractiveness cannot be quantified, there’s no such thing as a 1/10 or 10/10, different people find different things attractive.

Best of luck with your masters
Yeah I hope I'm just not stuck with the same issues at 25 or 30, that's all but I'm sure you're right and the upcoming opportunities will be very, very helpful.

Well it wasn't my original plan and I'm not even confirmed on the course yet, but looking at the job market currently it looks like the best option to go for where I can put myself to some good use. Attractiveness is subjective agreed, but I don't think anyone has seen me in a sexual way so that maybe quantified it wrongly in my mind.

Thanks, that's much appreciated!
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Anonymous #8
#54
Report 4 days ago
#54
(Original post by Anonymous)
Yeah I hope I'm just not stuck with the same issues at 25 or 30, that's all but I'm sure you're right and the upcoming opportunities will be very, very helpful.

Well it wasn't my original plan and I'm not even confirmed on the course yet, but looking at the job market currently it looks like the best option to go for where I can put myself to some good use. Attractiveness is subjective agreed, but I don't think anyone has seen me in a sexual way so that maybe quantified it wrongly in my mind.

Thanks, that's much appreciated!
Glad I could help.


One of my best friends found her partner at 32 years old and she is very happy, but I understand where your coming from that your worried about getting older.

Also people may have found you attractive before, and you’ve just missed it. From my own experience I’ve found that some people are just to shy to say anything, but have tried to say in such subtle ways that I’ve missed it entirely. I later found out that they liked me, far too much later :lol:

Also don’t worry about being inexperienced in relationships. I’m at university and have no experience at all. It’s more normal than you think, and many people actually lie about previous experiences so don’t compare yourself to others in that respect.
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Zarek
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#55
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#55
Try some hobbies that bring you in to contact with like minded women
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Anonymous #1
#56
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#56
(Original post by Zarek)
Try some hobbies that bring you in to contact with like minded women
Yeah I'm looking at joining some meet-ups, etc and hopefully the masters will help, but a little difficult in these times
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Tayaa8
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#57
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#57
(Original post by Anonymous)
I'm sure you're right, but I've seen way too many people wait, get to 35 and enter a loveless marriage. I think the 'rush' is trying to get experience with dating, girls, etc before an age where it becomes a turn off
but i think trying too much to find someone or forcing things also takes the fun out of it. i mean I'm not telling you what to do at all, but it's just my opinion
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Anonymous #1
#58
Report Thread starter 3 days ago
#58
(Original post by Tayaa8)
but i think trying too much to find someone or forcing things also takes the fun out of it. i mean I'm not telling you what to do at all, but it's just my opinion
Yeah I think you might be right. Sometimes you worry about if it won't work out for you, that's all
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Tayaa8
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#59
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#59
(Original post by Anonymous)
Yeah I think you might be right. Sometimes you worry about if it won't work out for you, that's all
i'm sure it will work out though, all in God's timing. things work out better when we worry less and trust God more
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Anonymous #9
#60
Report 2 days ago
#60
How tall are you lot? Probably has something to do with it
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