How to move on from a crush

Anonymous #1
Report Thread starter 1 week ago
I developed feelings for a girl but she never ever talks to me except about school work... I dont think she has even the slightest bit of interest in me and am just saddened by it. However I heard she talks to another guy alot, even going out with him for sports regularly.

I have also seen them talking online on Whatsapp regularly.... This just saddens me to no end.... and for the past year I have only know sadness. To top it off another classmate who rejected me a year ago has recently started dating another guy.

I realised that even at the age of 26 no one wants me or loves or even wants to have anything to do with me, and that just breaks me every day... I cant even cry anymore as I feel numb to the catharsis it used to bring. Loneliness is truly hell...

How do I move on from my current crush? How do I stop having feelings for anybody? Any advice?
Badges: 19
Report 1 week ago
Looking at things another way, you have your story so I won’t interfere there.

From pure very modern biology it is claimed that potential mates (I know we are talking crush & dates, but..) the human genome does allegedly like to reproduce itself.

It requires, for best survivability of the species that the DNA strands and biomic immune system of the potential pair are as orthogonal as possible. As diverse as possible. The brain chemistry and neuroscience has to match, even by synchronised.

When one first meets a potential mate, a lot of natural responses gather data, a lot of aroma chemistry goes on. You could meet a perfect person, all of your innate “date” systems kick-in, analyse and say “yes” (hence a crush, and more when you like the personality) but it is quite possible, in fact normal for the other person’s innate spectroscopy skills to be saying “no”, based purely on this first analysis.

One way round this, the best way, is to meet thousands of people, (often just hundreds is enough) and allow the biology sampling to carry on, at some point you will be a match. Your immune system will be sufficiently different from someone, and your eye telegraphy will have sufficiently matched the subtle autonomous signals being sent-out, that you will match that next step. There are further chemical probing steps to complete, but you can read books about this. Notice how so much of this is autonomous, happens automagically, without most of us being aware.

You also need to meet the profile of being, neat, trim, not-especially-smelly (so your innate body chem & hence blood group etc can be profiled) and to further slightly complicate things, this is not a static system. Potential partners can have completely different responses on different days, going from a mismatch to a match, though you were previously ‘unmatched’ if anyone is taking some prescription meds, synthetic hormones etc, this can invert the subtle senses - body chem is fascinating and complicated. Meet more people is one way out, smarten-up (if needed) and re-try ‘crushes’ is also a possibility, but sometimes a person’s innate senses just say “no”, perhaps even without them knowing why....

(Also, my explaining the above as an engineer, you might do better by tracking down some serious and very modern books on neuroscience, biochemistry and partnering)

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