Hi, I'm really sorry you feel this way about yourself, you've tried so hard. I can relate to your struggles with body dysphoria and troubles with weight loss.
sometimes it often takes a lot of time to see the results, and i end up giving up on a lot of diets.
So i began exercising and building a little more muscle instead of counting calories. not lifting weights and body building, i just stuck to running and jogging sometimes yoga and pilates. walking to places when possible instead of using public transport. sweatcoin (an app that tracks steps and gives rewards) was helpful and encouraged me. maybe dance tutorials can help, like on youtube and stuff
I felt like diets weren't working out for me. i don't know if this is helpful advice, i'm sorry if it isn't. i didn't control my diet so rigidly and just made sure to eat filling meals with lots of fibre from grains , and protein instead of refined carbs like a lot of starchy foods. I ended up feeling a lot healthier, I wouldn't recommend overexercising though, that can eat away at your muscles instead of fat which is unhelpful.
i make sure to consume a lot of fluids and stay away from juice and smoothies.
I also took supplements that help the gut microbiome, the one i take contain live bacteria strands that a healthy person normally has, but i'm not a healthy person so i needed to take them, a lot of research has gone into it so i thought i'd try it.
Only drinking water has a really bad effect on your health so please don't do that to yourself, starving yourself means the body retains more fat because it goes into survival mode, i feel like you're quite impatient to lose the weight i was too, don't worry i'm not criticising you, i am similar. but quick fixes don't last long term, focus on the journey not the end goal which is the weight you lost on the scale. take it one day at a time, you'll be okay.
I'm really sorry you're experiencing trouble, I hope you do what is best for you. please love and be kind to yourself and feel free to message me!!
i forgot to mention: try not to skip meals, it might lead to a binge and unhealthy snacking
best wishes <3