Scared of relationships and I've messed up Watch

Anonymous #1
#1
Report Thread starter 10 years ago
#1
I don't really know what I'm getting at here but I realise it's a problem and I need advice.

Basically I seem to be scared of getting into relationships. I lead guys on and I just see to be generally stupid about this whole thing. My best guy friend has always made it known that he likes me as more than a friend, and quite often we act more than friends (hugging, snuggling, sometimes kissing) and I definitely like him as more (he knows) but I'm just so scared to let it go further. I've never had a proper relationship and I wouldn't know how to act. Recently I just seem to be having one night stands which I ALWAYS regret. The other night I was cuddling on the bed with my best guy friend and he went in to kiss me and I rejected him, yet two days later I went and had a one night stand with a guy I'd known for about three hours. My best guy friend was clearly annoyed, saying along the lines of "you won't even kiss someone who really really likes you, yet you'll give your body up for a guy you've known a few hours" and we ended up arguing with the general jist him saying I don't realise how much he cares about me. I feel horrible now, although it really isn't my fault he feels the need to look out for me. I do want him as more than a friend, but I just never seem to be able to let it happen comfortably... I don't even know?

Advice for getting into your first relationship really? How was it?
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Anonymous #1
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Oh and he actually gave me an ultimatum a few days ago, saying I need to tell him whether we're just friends or more because the cuddling stuff and that just confuses him too much. Which I understand. I told him I'd think about it and get back to him but I haven't yet.

Probably another reason why he's p'd off.
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SofinaaBabess
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#3
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I think you need to just give the guy a "chance" as well as giving yourself one too..That way, it will be possible for you to be able to connect and maybe even save sex till after a couple of dates?
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SuperStaah
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#4
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Why don't you explain him that you're scared about getting into relationships?
Tell him that you do care about him as well, and want to be with him. He'll then understand better and see whats wrong.
Also, just give him a chance, everyone is always scared when they get into their first relationship, but once you're with him, nothing will really change that much. Just act like you normally do when you're with him, since you both already hug/cuddle/kiss etc.
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Anonymous #1
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It isn't just the sex thing. It's more the pure relationship side. Our friendship is quote jokey and silly and I'd feel silly acting all romantic and lovey dovey with him. :| Even though I want it more than anything.
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SuperStaah
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#6
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(Original post by Anonymous)
It isn't just the sex thing. It's more the pure relationship side. Our friendship is quote jokey and silly and I'd feel silly acting all romantic and lovey dovey with him. :| Even though I want it more than anything.
My relationship is quite jokey and silly as well, where me and my boyfriend just insult each other half the time.
If you think you'll feel silly being romantic and lovey dovey, don't until you feel comfortable, but you can't really say until you give the relationship a try.
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Son of Makuta
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(Original post by Anonymous)
It isn't just the sex thing. It's more the pure relationship side. Our friendship is quote jokey and silly and I'd feel silly acting all romantic and lovey dovey with him. :| Even though I want it more than anything.
Then be jokey. The romantic can drift in when you feel like it.

(Original post by SuperStaah)
My relationship is quite jokey and silly as well, where me and my boyfriend just insult each other half the time.
I've got friends like this; they're perfectly happy with it.
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FrustratedHistorian
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#8
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you need to get a grip honestly. you know your bestfriend very well...you know what you're going to expect. Don't let your fear of relationships get in the way...just see how it goes as it happens.
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Saphfire
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#9
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Tell him to come on here, and read your posts. That'll let him know how you feel without you actually telling him :P.
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