having really bad relationship anxiety :(

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Anonymous #1
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Some people will know about this as I’ve posted about this girl before. I got back with my ex (we were together for two months last year) in June. I’ve just come back from a two week holiday in France and when I got back to England, she was so excited!!! However, I can’t stop overthinking that she is leading me on but that I also may be insanely wrong.

She sent me texts about how strong her feelings are for me. She loves to FaceTime me. She even messaged me today just to remind me of how beautiful my eyes are. The thing is I asked her yesterday if we can meet this week, the answer was “I will let you know.” Today I asked for any updates and again “I will let you know”. This just made me nervous as I felt this was her of saying NO and that I have wasted all this time on her. It’s constantly on my mind and I think it’s because the last relationship I was in with another girl ended really badly. Am I overthinking?
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pepsimaxcherry
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hi!

as an anxiety sufferer, I know how you feel.

i think you might be overthinking things a little! maybe she has a busy week and doesn’t know if she will be free yet? if it really is worrying you, talk to her! she should understand.

and even if this relationship doesn’t work out, you haven’t wasted time. it’s given you experience and makes you the person you are now, it shouldn’t be seen as a waste of time!

maybe have a conversation with her and tell her how you feel? she’s clearly shown an interest in you so i think you’ll be fine!

hope you’re okay
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Anonymous #1
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(Original post by pepsimaxcherry)
hi!

as an anxiety sufferer, I know how you feel.

i think you might be overthinking things a little! maybe she has a busy week and doesn’t know if she will be free yet? if it really is worrying you, talk to her! she should understand.

and even if this relationship doesn’t work out, you haven’t wasted time. it’s given you experience and makes you the person you are now, it shouldn’t be seen as a waste of time!

maybe have a conversation with her and tell her how you feel? she’s clearly shown an interest in you so i think you’ll be fine!

hope you’re okay
I appreciate your honesty but I feel that would put pressure on her if I spoke up about me overthinking of her not wanting to see me. I’ve opened up about my anxiety to her a couple of weeks ago and how I overthink so I just wouldn’t what to say.
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Anonymous #1
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(Original post by Anonymous)
I appreciate your honesty but I feel that would put pressure on her if I spoke up about me overthinking of her not wanting to see me. I’ve opened up about my anxiety to her a couple of weeks ago and how I overthink so I just wouldn’t what to say.
*wouldn't know what to say
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pepsimaxcherry
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(Original post by Anonymous)
I appreciate your honesty but I feel that would put pressure on her if I spoke up about me overthinking of her not wanting to see me. I’ve opened up about my anxiety to her a couple of weeks ago and how I overthink so I just wouldn’t what to say.
I get that!

I’d just sort of bring it up like “hey do you know if you can meet me yet?” Sort of phrase it like you’re just wondering. If she says she doesn’t know again, sort of say “when will you know? just so i know in advance as it worries me a little when things aren’t planned haha” Play it as a light hearted joke and it won’t seem as daunting!
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Anonymous #1
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(Original post by pepsimaxcherry)
I get that!

I’d just sort of bring it up like “hey do you know if you can meet me yet?” Sort of phrase it like you’re just wondering. If she says she doesn’t know again, sort of say “when will you know? just so i know in advance as it worries me a little when things aren’t planned haha” Play it as a light hearted joke and it won’t seem as daunting!
Yeah but I said that I asked today for any updates and she said the same thing; “I’ll let you know” but I will use the “when will you know?” thingy tbf
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pepsimaxcherry
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(Original post by Anonymous)
Yeah but I said that I asked today for any updates and she said the same thing; “I’ll let you know” but I will use the “when will you know?” thingy tbf
Yeah, give it a go! If she keeps saying she doesn’t know then explain that it stresses you out. At least then she will know how you feel
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Anonymous #1
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Any other advice would be appreciated?
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kekedoyouloveme?
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(Original post by Anonymous)
Some people will know about this as I’ve posted about this girl before. I got back with my ex (we were together for two months last year) in June. I’ve just come back from a two week holiday in France and when I got back to England, she was so excited!!! However, I can’t stop overthinking that she is leading me on but that I also may be insanely wrong.

She sent me texts about how strong her feelings are for me. She loves to FaceTime me. She even messaged me today just to remind me of how beautiful my eyes are. The thing is I asked her yesterday if we can meet this week, the answer was “I will let you know.” Today I asked for any updates and again “I will let you know”. This just made me nervous as I felt this was her of saying NO and that I have wasted all this time on her. It’s constantly on my mind and I think it’s because the last relationship I was in with another girl ended really badly. Am I overthinking?
Awe, I get how you might be feeling ps my boyfriends in France for hols! so similarrr.

Anywho, if she's so proactive, and she initiates things it could be she's really in to you, I'm guessing you're overthinking and I'm sure you want to go with that conclusion too. I think it could just be that she's extremely busy, has she given any hints, about stuff she may be doing such as work stress, or holiday prep, or anything which may indicate to you that she's busy. My best advice would be ask her, I mean you're together with her, so it's perfectly acceptable if you ask her if she's busy, maybe get an insight as to why she can't meet up with you. My boyfriend, used to ask me tons of time too, and I couldn't always meet up due to strict parents of course I was also the type to say I'd see because I didn't want to let him down, but, I told him the truth and caved in, when he asked. So if you do want to know there's no harm in asking, I'm sure she's just extremely busy with life or has got some issues you may not even know about, you wouldn't know unless you asked her
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Anonymous #1
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(Original post by kekedoyouloveme?)
Awe, I get how you might be feeling ps my boyfriends in France for hols! so similarrr.

Anywho, if she's so proactive, and she initiates things it could be she's really in to you, I'm guessing you're overthinking and I'm sure you want to go with that conclusion too. I think it could just be that she's extremely busy, has she given any hints, about stuff she may be doing such as work stress, or holiday prep, or anything which may indicate to you that she's busy. My best advice would be ask her, I mean you're together with her, so it's perfectly acceptable if you ask her if she's busy, maybe get an insight as to why she can't meet up with you. My boyfriend, used to ask me tons of time too, and I couldn't always meet up due to strict parents of course I was also the type to say I'd see because I didn't want to let him down, but, I told him the truth and caved in, when he asked. So if you do want to know there's no harm in asking, I'm sure she's just extremely busy with life or has got some issues you may not even know about, you wouldn't know unless you asked her
Oh okay. This makes me worry a little less. How do you think I should pop the question then or start the conversation about it? Like how did your boyfriend ask? Plus she hasn’t dropped any hints, which is why it left me in this paranoid state. Do I leave it for a couple more days to see if she does update me know and if not, then ask?
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Anonymous #1
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UPDATE: She has just messaged me directly with something rather “freaky” (I don’t need to explain furthermore 😂). I kind of just want to air as right now until she finally lets me know as the sex or sexting isn’t on my mind, it’s spending time with her that matters AND I WANT A DATE.
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mgi
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(Original post by Anonymous)
Some people will know about this as I’ve posted about this girl before. I got back with my ex (we were together for two months last year) in June. I’ve just come back from a two week holiday in France and when I got back to England, she was so excited!!! However, I can’t stop overthinking that she is leading me on but that I also may be insanely wrong.

She sent me texts about how strong her feelings are for me. She loves to FaceTime me. She even messaged me today just to remind me of how beautiful my eyes are. The thing is I asked her yesterday if we can meet this week, the answer was “I will let you know.” Today I asked for any updates and again “I will let you know”. This just made me nervous as I felt this was her of saying NO and that I have wasted all this time on her. It’s constantly on my mind and I think it’s because the last relationship I was in with another girl ended really badly. Am I overthinking?
Yes you are! What has she done wrong? Nothing! If she keeps making excuses then just tell her thst yiu are not sure she is interested. If she still stays the same then you put her in the friend zone! And then date someone else. Easy!
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Anonymous #1
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(Original post by mgi)
Yes you are! What has she done wrong? Nothing! If she keeps making excuses then just tell her thst yiu are not sure she is interested. If she still stays the same then you put her in the friend zone! And then date someone else. Easy!
I know she’s done nothing wrong. It’s just I was reading as if she wasn’t keen and from past experiences when someone says “I’ll let you know” to a question like that, they will never let you know.
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mgi
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(Original post by Anonymous)
I know she’s done nothing wrong. It’s just I was reading as if she wasn’t keen and from past experiences when someone says “I’ll let you know” to a question like that, they will never let you know.
Ok. if so then you let them go!
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Anonymous #2
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Considering u were only together for two months, it clearly wasn’t that serious before so I would say to her when she FaceTimes you, what her intentions are tbh. I don’t think it’s being too forward or too fast because u were previously together. Put effort in but if she doesn’t put the same effort in as u drop her because she will do the same again, people don’t change for others always remember that.
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kekedoyouloveme?
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(Original post by Anonymous)
Oh okay. This makes me worry a little less. How do you think I should pop the question then or start the conversation about it? Like how did your boyfriend ask? Plus she hasn’t dropped any hints, which is why it left me in this paranoid state. Do I leave it for a couple more days to see if she does update me know and if not, then ask?
Yeah, leave it for a couple of days, then casually just mention her plans for the week, that way you'd get an insight as to if she is busy, if it doesn't seem like she's busy then bring that up saying "oh would you like to meet another time, if you're not ready or something I don't mind, Honestly." That way she may be say it's not because she's not ready it's because of so and so or she might say yeah that would be great another time indicating that she wasn't indeed ready, if you get what I mean?
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kekedoyouloveme?
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(Original post by Anonymous)
UPDATE: She has just messaged me directly with something rather “freaky” (I don’t need to explain furthermore 😂). I kind of just want to air as right now until she finally lets me know as the sex or sexting isn’t on my mind, it’s spending time with her that matters AND I WANT A DATE.
Bro, don't leave a girl hanging when she wants to sext.....

we can turn into massive attacking squirrels the next day, unless she's the type to not hold grudges or get angry over these things but imo, best tip is not to leave a girl hanging builds frustration.
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xoxAngel_Kxox
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I have anxiety too, and I know how difficult it can make relationships sometimes.
These are weird times anyway unfortunately, and meeting up isn't just as simple as deciding you want to and going for it. Perhaps she feels uneasy due to covid regulations.
You need to talk to her properly about it. There's no point in just overthinking about it. If you're going to have a long term relationship you need to be able to talk about pretty much everything.
So just say you're worried that she doesn't want to meet up.
She might even just be nervous!
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