gee321
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THIS IS THE EXTRACT AND QUESTION. I HAVE ALSO ATTACHED MARK SCHEME.
This was an uncharacteristically gloomy train of thought, and Mr Fisher pushed it away.Not all his boys lacked imagination. Alistair Tibbet, for instance, even though he had obviously done part of his homework on the bus. An amiable boy, this Tibbet. Not a brilliant scholar by any means, but there was a spark in him which deserved attention.Mr Fisher took a deep breath and looked down at Tibbet’s exercise book, trying not to think of the snow outside and the five o’clock bus he was now almost certain to miss. Four books to go, he told himself; and then home; dinner; bed; the comforting small routine of a winter weekend. But, gradually sitting there in the warm classroom with the smell of chalk and floor polish in his nostrils, Mr Fisher began to experience a very strange sensation. It began as a tightening in his diaphragm, as if a long unused muscle had been brought into action. His breathing quickened, stopped, quickened again. He began to sweat. And when he reached the end of the story, Mr Fisher put down his red pen and went back to the beginning, re-reading every word very slowly and with meticulous care. This must be what a prospector feels when, discouraged and bankrupt and ready to go home, he takes off his boot and shakes out a nugget of gold the size of his fist. He read it again, critically this time, marking off the paragraphs with notes in red. A hope, which at first Mr Fisher had hardly dared to formulate, swelled in him and grew strong. He found himself beginning to smile.
If anyone had asked him what Tibbet’s story was about, Mr Fisher might have been hard put to reply. There were themes he recognised, elements of plot which were vaguely familiar: an adventure – a quest, a child, a man. But to explain Tibbet’s story in these terms was as meaningless as trying to describe a loved one’s face in terms of nose, eyes, mouth.This was something new. Something entirely original.

A student said, ‘This part of the story, where Mr Fisher is marking homework,
shows Tibbet’s story is better than Mr Fisher expected, and his reaction is
extreme.’
To what extent do you agree?
In your response, you could:
• consider your own impressions of what Mr Fisher expected Tibbet’s
homework to be like
• evaluate how the writer conveys Mr Fisher’s reaction to what he discovers
• support your response with references to the text

I absolutely agree with the statement. The writer effectively shows that Tibet’s story is ironic through Mr.Fisher’s extreme emotions.
The writer had introduced a new character, Alistair Tibbet in the middle of the extract. Though most of the boys in class lacked interest, Mr.Fisher had mentioned Tibbet as an average student but someone who had a hidden talent in him. This is evident when he says, “there was a spark in him which deserved attention.” The writer uses the noun ‘spark’ to highlight the potential talent of Tibbet which had not yet been revealed. The writer has managed to foreshadow which makes the readers feel curious about how Tibbet’s ‘spark’ gets noticed by Mr.Fisher.

Another way the writer expresses Mr.Fisher’s reaction is by highlighting the huge physical emotion of Mr.Fisher. This can be supported by his feeling of a ‘strange sensation’ and ‘his breathing quickened, stopped, quickened again.” The adjective ‘strange’ has connotations of something unusual and this can be linked to Mr.Fisher’s burst of emotion. The writer cleverly uses repetition ‘quickened’ to create a special effect of tension for the readers. Furthermore, the use of short sentences can make the sentences seem fast-paced leading to a build-up of anxiety for the reader.

Additionally, at the end of the extract, Mr.Fisher cannot believe what Tibbet has written so he carefully re-reads it. This can be seen in the quote, “ He read it again, critically this time.” The writer uses a the verb ‘critically’ perhaps to manifest Mr.Fisher’s reiteration. ‘Critically’ also has connotations of disapproval which builds up Mr.Fisher’s disbelief in Tibbet’s story. The reader is encouraged to make comments on how powerful Tibbet’s story is, that it brings out a meticulous worry in Mr.Fisher.

Finally, the writer successfully ends the extract with Mr.Fisher’s immense joy and disbelief for Tibbet’s story. For example, “This was something new. Something entirely original.” The adjective ‘original’ perhaps suggests to the readers that Tibbet used his imagination and creativity to build a wonderful story Mr.Fisher hasn’t read since his generation. The writer puts in the repetition of the word ‘something’ to express the happiness of Mr.Fisher. Furthermore, the writer reveals the hidden talent Tibbet has which he foreshadowed in the middle. Leading to an atmosphere of hope for the readers.
Overall, the writer has given sufficient evidence to back up the student's point of Mr.Fisher's reaction to Tibbet's story.
https://filestore.aqa.org.uk/sample-...W-MS-JUN18.PDF
Last edited by gee321; 2 months ago
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belle.c
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A good rule of thumb in English is to mostly agree with the statement, but having one paragraph which disagrees with the statement. I would also suggest that you should aim to write slightly more within the time constraints, but I understand that it is a short amount of time.
However, the use of embedded quotations is good, but I would develop your interpretations further. However, the range of quotations is good as well as the clustering of them.
This is a great answer to the question, and I think it would get about a band three mark, which could be pushed up to band four if the analysis was extended, and you perhaps wrote another paragraph which contrasted with the student's opinion.
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gee321
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(Original post by belle.c)
A good rule of thumb in English is to mostly agree with the statement, but having one paragraph which disagrees with the statement. I would also suggest that you should aim to write slightly more within the time constraints, but I understand that it is a short amount of time.
However, the use of embedded quotations is good, but I would develop your interpretations further. However, the range of quotations is good as well as the clustering of them.
This is a great answer to the question, and I think it would get about a band three mark, which could be pushed up to band four if the analysis was extended, and you perhaps wrote another paragraph which contrasted with the student's opinion.
hey i was actually confused whether i should write a counter paragraph or no. Guess ill write 4 agree paragraphs and 1 disagree paragraph. Also I'm actually in year 9 and I feel like I've done pretty okay for a gcse paper that I learned independently. Thanks for you comment x
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belle.c
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(Original post by gee321)
hey i was actually confused whether i should write a counter paragraph or no. Guess ill write 4 agree paragraphs and 1 disagree paragraph. Also I'm actually in year 9 and I feel like I've done pretty okay for a gcse paper that I learned independently. Thanks for you comment x
For a year nine that is a great answer! I remember doing that past paper in school as a mock and it was absolutely horrific. Also, my teachers always said a counter, but at the same time if you can't think of anything, it is better to just have four agree paragraphs that are good, rather than adding a less good fifth. Good luck, and I hope I helped a bit, I feel like I was a bit harsh earlier- especially as you have been teaching it to yourself!
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gee321
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(Original post by belle.c)
For a year nine that is a great answer! I remember doing that past paper in school as a mock and it was absolutely horrific. Also, my teachers always said a counter, but at the same time if you can't think of anything, it is better to just have four agree paragraphs that are good, rather than adding a less good fifth. Good luck, and I hope I helped a bit, I feel like I was a bit harsh earlier- especially as you have been teaching it to yourself!
no not at all. Next time I'm going to add in a counter so thank you for that. I've moved on to q5 paper 1 and I'm crying and I want to kill myself no ****. cuz idek how to start and ive watched a 1000 videos but I still don't know
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