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chloeebrown09
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hello! :hello: my name is chloee. i will try to be on everyday and make weekly updates. WELCOME TO MY BLOG!!! i hope you enjoy!
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LovelyMrFox
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:hugs:
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chloeebrown09
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i am 16 years old and i live in the U.S.
some of my hobbies include binging netflix, TSR currently, being with animals, reading, and rollerskating.


Trigger warning - post contains a mention of harm and previous suicidal thoughts

background on me:
Spoiler:
Show
about two years ago my mom stopped seeing a longtime boyfriend n everything went downhill from there. she started to mentally/verbally abuse me n my younger brother, trenton. which at the time i didnt realize what was going on i just thought she was being mean. then it started getting worse n she started to physically abuse me, go out to parties n bring me n my little brother. make me watch him as her n a bunch of men drank, smoked, did drugs, had s*x right in the room. it was awful. then it got really bad n she started harming me so bad (hitting, punching, throwing stuff at me) i became depressed. i tried to kill myself. then i started talking to a random boy who i thought cared for me n were being so nice, it felt good to have someone who said they cared about me. then after about a week he was asking me for nudes, n sexy pictures. i denied n told them no. but then they stopped talking to me n i felt useless again so i agreed. i sent him pictures in my underwear. i thought he'd like me n still 'be there for me' if i did that. then my mom took my phone n found all the messages back n forth n called me a slut, hoe, exc. n grabbed my hair n threw me against the wall (at the time we lived with my grandparents) my grandma came upstairs n stopped my mom n asked what she was doing. i tried to jump out of my window (was on the 2nd floor) n kept yelling "i dont wanna die". then my mom showed my grandma everything n the texts. they both said stay here (in my bedroom) n went downstairs to show my grandpa. i quietly creeped down the stairs n ran out the back door. i ran away n didnt come back for 4 n a half days. there were cop cars n police looking for me for days. it was winter n i was wearing capri pj pants, a tee shirt, n no shoes. i had no food, water, blanket, anything. eventually i was starving, i was far from my house n i found tree trunks built into a pile n hid under them/slept there the whole time. i had found my way back home in the middle of the night, n the back door was unlocked. i quietly grabbed a box of welch's gummies, found a small blanket in the laundry room, n went to my grandparents room n hid under the bed. i was under the bed for 3 days. i would mainly sleep all day, n use the bathroom only at night. there was people i hadnt seen for ages at the house, trying to help find me, figure out where i was, n asking what happened. my mom told everyone she found me "sexting" guys n i ran away because i knew i was in trouble. my grandma said there was fear in my eyes when kassie (my mom) was hitting me. my grandma was talking to my grandpa one night n i could hear her saying, i could tell chloee was depressed. do you think kassie has anything to do with this? i ran away because i was scared of my mom, what she'd do to me because of the messages. i thought she was gonna kill me because she had to deal with it when she was supposed to be going to a party. then one morning my grandma's dogs (chuiawas, sorry if i spelt that wrong) crawled under the bed barking at me, n licking my face. n my grandma kept calling them n they wouldnt leave, n then she got a flashlight n shined it under the bed to see what they were doing. i covered up under my blanket. n my grandma said, "whats the pink log?" she started crying n said "chloee? is that you?" n i stayed still, then my grandpa looked under the bed n touched my leg. he said, "GET OUT HERE". i rolled out from under the bed n started crying, saying i was sorry. my grandma started hugging me n holding me. but, my granpa was yelling at me (i later found out he was mad because i scarred him like that, n thought i had gotten kidnapped or taken. the same night i ran away they released a sex trafficer from jail). my grandpa went to get my mom n told her what had happened. they had to call the police because i was a missing child, to say they had found me, i was back. i was on the news, my friends n a bunch of kids from my schoold posted pictures of me all over social media, saying i was missing. the police had interviewed all my friends n teachers. n i had talked to a couple of my friends prior saying i might run away because of my moms abuse, but i was never actually gonna do it. i had talked to one of my teachers breifly about what had been happening (she caught me crying in the bathroom). it was insane, i hadnt realized how big it was. a police officer showed up to our house n asked if he could talk to me (n i asked to talk in private) he kept asking me questions regarding why i ran away, n the messages. he explained to me to not feel guilty , i was a victim. i didnt really talk to him beause i was nervous n crying. he told me they investigated n found out that 'boy' i was talking to was actually an adult man who was praying on young girls who were vaulnerable. going through rough times. he was actually 25 years old. n was posing as his younger cousin, used his pictures, acted as if he was a teen. im not entirely sure what happened to him but i think he might have got sent to jail. then a week later i got sent to a mental institute. were i had to stay in-patient for a month. the food was the worst part. i threw up several times while i was there. it was seperated into childrens, adolescense, n adults. i felt so out of place there. i thought my i was bad, there was kids there who were insane. i met this kid who raped two girls, a boy who blew up a cop car, a girl who had several personalities, it was crazy. i had to stay in a room with this girl who was a lesbian (which i had no problem whatsoever with, i support lgbtq) n she kept saying dirty stuff to me, n said i looked beautiful when i slept. it was very creepy. but there were also some people there to who were in a similair situation like me. who ran away, been abused, was sucidal. there was actually some good people there, who just went through some bad stuff. i ended up dating this guy who was so sweet, n funny. i know, i know a boyfriend in a mental institue!? but he had just went through some pretty rough stuff n was put in the institue to learn to cope with his expreriences. i started having family sessions where my mom n grandma would come in, n we'd all talk with a social worker about my progress. before i left we had a final session, n i had to decide if i wanted to live with my mom or grandparents. i picked my grandparents. my mom had a mental breakdown, n called me a bunch of names i wont even say. n say we (me n my grandma) deserved each other. then i started going to out-patient which is where i would get picked up in the morning n dropped off in the afternoon, i'd only be there from 8 am- 4 pm. thats when/where i got my first kiss. woo woo. in the van to a mental institue, gosh im sick. lol. i was in out-patient for about a month n a half. then my grandma was allowed to release me, n i went home with her. while i was in the mental institute a lot happened my grandparents found out about everything: the abuse. n kicked my mom out, social services was involved n investiagating my mom. n also met with me while i was there. then when i got out my grandma already had a court date for a protective order (which is where my mom cant contact me for a year, n my grandparents were my gaurdians). we won. i was with my grandparents for a year. as soon as the year ended my mom forced me to come back to live with her. which we were supposed to go back to court to see what to do, but at the time we couldnt because of the coronavirus outbreak. n my mom became abusive again, but this time worse. i became depressed once again, n became suicidal. ( i hadnt had a phone since all that happened, so for about a year). my mom had gotten a small townhouse in a bad neighborhood, n my grandparents got a new house. my mom let me visit my grandparents. and when i'd visit my grandma seen i was depressed again and was asking wha was going on. i told her my mom was doing it again. n she said, "oh no im not doing this again." my doctor started my on antidepressants, (my grandma also found out while i was living with her i have a heart condition) n my heart doctor tripled my meds, which had been working great for 8 monthes. because my heart was going crazy again, just since i'd been staying with my mom. n he said it can most definitly be from stress, depression. so my mom n grandma decided it'd be better if i stayed at my grandma's house since im starting my new meds. because my moms house is chaotic, n she constintly has loads of random people there, n drinking, smoking parties. which i told me grandma about. n on top of that, my mom had a new boyfriend who's a druggie, so now she's doing drugs. n i couldnt deal. then when i went to visit at my moms house (mainly to check on my little brother) she'd be worse. eventually it got so bad. n in the pass week me n my grandma have went to court yet again, n they gave her temporary custody/protective order until August 10 which will be our final court date/trial where my mom n grandparents fight for custody of me. i also have to be there, n make a statement. this has been pretty much what my life has evolved around the past 2 years. the point of this is not to get attention or pity. i want others to know who are going through something similair that you are not alone, god makes everything happen for a reason, believe me its going to get better, hold on. i believe in you. i was so blessed to have gotten the opportunity to live with my grandparents n get away from my abuser. you can get through it, you are strong.

anywho... lets forget about all that negativity. WELCOME TO MY BLOG! :woo:
Last edited by chloeebrown09; 1 week ago
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chloeebrown09
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(Original post by LovelyMrFox)
Subbing
thank you!!
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ChubbyWhubby
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Woah that was long asf. I stopped reading at I am from the US.
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chloeebrown09
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(Original post by ChubbyWhubby)
Woah that was long asf. I stopped reading at I am from the US.
haha i get it. but you should readi it, its background about me. it might help to know.
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TiktoknChemistry
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Hey
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chloeebrown09
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(Original post by TiktoknChemistry)
Hey
hi!!!! :hi: thanks for coming!
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TiktoknChemistry
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(Original post by chloeebrown09)
hi!!!! :hi: thanks for coming!
No worries I like engaging in other peoples blogs

Hyd?
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ChubbyWhubby
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(Original post by chloeebrown09)
haha i get it. but you should readi it, its background about me. it might help to know.
Okay I read it. Well halfway. I would highly recommend paragraphs, makes it easier for my brain to digest the information.

And I am truly sorry that you went through all that, I can't imagine what you must have gone through.:jumphug:

I hope you get the help you deserve.
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chloeebrown09
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(Original post by TiktoknChemistry)
No worries I like engaging in other peoples blogs

Hyd?
im good, thanks! also thank you for the follow, i appreciate it!
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2_versions
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Not the happiest introduction to a blog but a very detailed and rapport building one I suppose... nice to meet you though :hello:
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chloeebrown09
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(Original post by ChubbyWhubby)
Okay I read it. Well halfway. I would highly recommend paragraphs, makes it easier for my brain to digest the information.

And I am truly sorry that you went through all that, I can't imagine what you must have gone through.:jumphug:

I hope you get the help you deserve.
haha i'll remember that for next time. and thank you. if you read the rest (:eyeball:) you'll figure out i sorta do.
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chloeebrown09
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more people who may be interested in joining the blog: @megan_e, @thatgirlhanna, Hellohsjakodsmka.
not really sure why the other people didnt come up, does that mean they arent using there account anymore ??
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chloeebrown09
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(Original post by 2_versions)
Not the happiest introduction to a blog but a very detailed and rapport building one I suppose... nice to meet you though :hello:
yeah i just wanted everyone to kinda now my background. and its nice to meet you too! will you be joining the blog ?
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chloeebrown09
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thagirlhanna
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2_versions
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(Original post by chloeebrown09)
yeah i just wanted everyone to kinda now my background. and its nice to meet you too! will you be joining the blog ?
yeah sure
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chloeebrown09
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(Original post by 2_versions)
yeah sure
cool! the more the merrier.
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chloeebrown09
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lol sorry i didnt realize i didnt finish.

this week:

- had a tornado watch today
- started eating healthier
- i ordered the instanity workout dvd's n they just came in today, so im gonna start excersizing everyday for 60 days. apparently if you continusly follow the dvd's for 60 days you lose approximitly 35 pounds, n get muscle! i know ive gained like 10 pounds (at least) during corona. :lolwut: my grandpa went to war in iraq a couple years ago, n he said he'd do the insanity workout everyday n when he finished it, he had 9% body fat. which is insane. he was so buff. im not tryna get buff or anything. but some abs would be nice!!
- (if you read the long begining you know this) i went to court on monday, n my grandparents were given temporary custody of me until August 10th which is our 'trial'
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TiktoknChemistry
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(Original post by chloeebrown09)
im good, thanks! also thank you for the follow, i appreciate it!
Good luck with the insanity workout #workoutflex

Thanks you can also follow my blog at TiktoknChemistrys blog where you can follow my life journey which includes my merchandise, a level journey and fulltime warehouse employment
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