Does this make me a bad person?

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Anonymous #1
#1
Report Thread starter 11 months ago
#1
So me and my boyfriend are newly living together and things are going okay.
But because he has chronic pain from a lower back condition, he is unable to sexually perform.
It's been about a year of having to deal with no sex, and usually I could handle it but recently I've been wanting sex with other guys (im a guy btw) I constantly keep imagining it since I'm very sexually active anyway, and its killing me.
I feel awful because I love my bf and don't want to feel so strongly toward other guys.
I don't wanna hurt him I don't know what to do either. Is it wrong for me to feel this way?
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JustOneMoreThing
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#2
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I don't think you can control how you feel, as long as you don't act on it which I'm sure you won't then there's nothing wrong here.

I don't know how serious his condition is but maybe you could discuss other means to perform sexually if that would help.
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Anonymous #1
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(Original post by JustOneMoreThing)
I don't think you can control how you feel, as long as you don't act on it which I'm sure you won't then there's nothing wrong here.

I don't know how serious his condition is but maybe you could discuss other means to perform sexually if that would help.
I would never act on it.
In short, there's pretty much nothing we can do together. And that's likely to be the case forever.
It's ruining my already destroyed mental health state.
But thank you !
Ah well, I should get over it, right ? ):
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Grizwuld
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"Ah well, I should get over it, right ? ):"

Er no. Nature will not be denied.

He's not your b/f - he's your companion. It's also rather selfish of him to be able to offer nothing but expect everything from you.
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claireestelle
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(Original post by Anonymous)
So me and my boyfriend are newly living together and things are going okay.
But because he has chronic pain from a lower back condition, he is unable to sexually perform.
It's been about a year of having to deal with no sex, and usually I could handle it but recently I've been wanting sex with other guys (im a guy btw) I constantly keep imagining it since I'm very sexually active anyway, and its killing me.
I feel awful because I love my bf and don't want to feel so strongly toward other guys.
I don't wanna hurt him I don't know what to do either. Is it wrong for me to feel this way?
i think you need to talk it over with him, if you're happy not to be able to do anything then that's great but if you're not then you have to consider whether you want to stay in the relationship, it's perfectly valid to feel this way.
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Qxi.xli
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i think u shoud talk to him abt
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PhoenixRose338
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As long as you don't act on it, I think it's fine. But maybe you should talk to him about it if it really affects you
And I'm sure you are not a bad person just for thinking about it.
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JustOneMoreThing
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(Original post by Anonymous)
I would never act on it.
In short, there's pretty much nothing we can do together. And that's likely to be the case forever.
It's ruining my already destroyed mental health state.
But thank you !
Ah well, I should get over it, right ? ):
No, I don't think you should stay in the relationship if you aren't content, don't feel obligated.

There would be nothing wrong with leaving because your boyfriend can't perform sexually, that's part of a relationship, neither physical nor emotional aspects of a relationship are less important than the other.

It's not a nice situation and it can't be easy for either of you, I hope it works out.
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