17M I don't know what's going on with my crush and desperately need advice 18F

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BuddyMurphy7
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Hi! I'm 17, most girls call me handsome and flirt with me but I've never had a proper relationship, because I'm shy and it is very Hard for me to catch feelings. I've had my first kiss and I have some experience with girls but I don't have a clue about things at all

So there is this girl, stunning looks, stunning body, great smile.. I met her around a year and a half ago, she was and still is an ultra close friend of my best friend (a dude) and when we met she was already in a long relationship with one of our friends . Time passed and we hung out a few times, but while still dating the dude, the girl had such wild wild chemistry with me that goddamn and I'm not talking about just friends but it was evident she liked me. She literally laughed her ass of at my jokes, she gave me big hugs and huge smiles, now she has a LOT of guy friends and almost no girl friends but I know the difference.

So, she dumped the dude, but I didn't do anything out of respect, for a few months we were not close, just regularly hanging out in company. On the New Year, I went totally Rock bottom because a girl i was pursuing went on rejecting me and acting like a *****, that's when this girl came and gave me a long hug and we danced for a while. After this, I realized she's not a random acquaintance in my life. I was in love with her, got touchy and I felt the same vibrations with her, but she outta nowhere got back with him. It totally crushed me, but I knew she was with him just because he had a car and she was toying with him and his feelings. While with him she still showed affection for me and acted like she isn't in a relationship but I didn't wanna do anything because I didn't wanna be a jackass. The way she talked to me, the manners she made, I knew she wished I just turned into an alpha and got her. But I didn't, she waited and waited, she dumped him, we went on a vacation with our squad and the first days she got all touchy and danced with me, maybe hoping I'm finally doing it all for her, complimenting me and flirting with me, she waited and waited before starting to act awkward with me, ignoring me and seemingly liking some other guy, she was hard to talk to the Last few days and we seemingly ignored each other. Now that I look back, I realize that she was captivated by me and while she might not want a relationship with me, maybe she wanted it to be out little secret, maybe she saw something in me, but I know for sure she loved me and that I disappointed her, I should have talked more with her, I should have grabbed her by the hands, I should have kissed her, but I didn't and now someone else is going to do that. We haven't talked in a few days but she is seemingly 24/7 texting with that new guy. I ****ed up big time but I still have a lot to prove and I don't want to lose this person from my life.. Things are really awkward now but I think that if she cared that much, this one hurdle could end as well. She loved my energetic, cool, happy vibe and not the recent sad / anxious dude who doesn't treat her like she should be treated. Do I still have a chance or is it too late, should I wait 1 - 2 months before going all in or should I tell her Everything? What do you think, is all hope by now lost if we went on a vacation and I not only did nothing, but screwed up things even more? Is it that I shouldn't have pulled away when she started acting weird and interested in other guys (something she never does) I don't care she is still the most beautiful girl and the best person I've ever known. I know we're not meant to be just friends but I'm afraid she has by now changed her opinion about me. It all happened because I was in denjal of liking her, afraid of ****ing up things. My mistake is I didn't initiate things with her and that caused her to think I have no interest in her (there are hundreds of guys who would love to be in my place) How should I approach her now? I wanna rebound, even if it take time.
Thank you for any advice cuz I'm in a *****y place right now.
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Surnia
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Move on. Neither of you made a move to get together and now she's in a relationship. However, take off the rose-tinted glasses and realise she's not much of a catch if she'll play with people's feeling and flirt with other guys when she's involved with someone. If she can do that to them, she can do that to you, and don't kid yourself otherwise that everything would be different and wonderful if she was with you.
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REDDINGZ
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She seems a bit emotionally manipulative ngl, if you think she only got with someone because of their car and was "toying with him"
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REDDINGZ
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(Original post by Surnia)
Move on. Neither of you made a move to get together and now she's in a relationship. However, take off the rose-tinted glasses and realise she's not much of a catch if she'll play with people's feeling and flirt with other guys when she's involved with someone. If she can do that to them, she can do that to you, and don't kid yourself otherwise that everything would be different and wonderful if she was with you.
I agree. If she toyed with the other dudes emotions while she was in a relationship with him, whos to say she wont do the same thing to you?
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wastedcuriosity
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(Original post by REDDINGZ)
She seems a bit emotionally manipulative ngl, if you think she only got with someone because of their car and was "toying with him"
Totally agree - do you really want to be w someone like that?
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BuddyMurphy7
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(Original post by wastedcuriosity)
Totally agree - do you really want to be w someone like that?
Friends with benefits or not worth it???
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Surnia
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(Original post by BuddyMurphy7)
Friends with benefits or not worth it???
FWB; who with????
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REDDINGZ
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(Original post by Surnia)
FWB; who with????
Him and the girl i presume
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Surnia
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(Original post by REDDINGZ)
Him and the girl i presume
The girl is in a relationship. That's why I asked, because I didn't know if the OP just meant some random hook-up to get over his crush.
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sulliz
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Hit me up.
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REDDINGZ
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(Original post by Surnia)
The girl is in a relationship. That's why I asked, because I didn't know if the OP just meant some random hook-up to get over his crush.
Whoops. I forgot he wanted a rebound.
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wastedcuriosity
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(Original post by BuddyMurphy7)
Friends with benefits or not worth it???
Is she not in a relationship?
Also, if you have feelings for her a FWB arrangement will only cause you a lot of hurt.
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Surnia
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(Original post by BuddyMurphy7)
Friends with benefits or not worth it???
Do you mean with just anyone to get over this girl? No, because the whole point is no strings and keep emotions out of it, which I don't think you could do and you're likely to get in too deep and transfer your feelings on to the FWB.

And if you mean you want a rebound with this girl, don't wait around for her because she's not worth it and as above, it would be too much for you to cope with.
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BuddyMurphy7
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(Original post by Surnia)
The girl is in a relationship. That's why I asked, because I didn't know if the OP just meant some random hook-up to get over his crush.
She's not in a relationship, I know she has no serious intentions about him. But I know that I'm not in the friendzone + she is not indifferent with me, thinks I'm good looking and likes my company, that's why I think if I should try friends with benefits? 🤔🤔😒
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BuddyMurphy7
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Because she's extremely good looking and we have something and it's not pure friendship, maybe the key is to have fun 🤔 And I'm just the overreacting anxiety master
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Pharmaboy97
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(Original post by BuddyMurphy7)
She's not in a relationship, I know she has no serious intentions about him. But I know that I'm not in the friendzone + she is not indifferent with me, thinks I'm good looking and likes my company, that's why I think if I should try friends with benefits? 🤔🤔😒
Make the move when you're with her next time and both of you are getting touchy and you can feel the tension, otherwise you can carry on watching other guys take her through your glass window and think 'what if...' etc.
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wastedcuriosity
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(Original post by BuddyMurphy7)
Because she's extremely good looking and we have something and it's not pure friendship, maybe the key is to have fun 🤔 And I'm just the overreacting anxiety master
No because you obviously have feelings for her
Very very bad idea
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BuddyMurphy7
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Screw fear, right? She is attracted by confidence and I may or May not be boy friend material but I have proven to be something, right?
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cloud_9_
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I'd say try to move on cos if she only has guy friends and flirts with every guy then it's just gonna eventually make u jealous and its not worth it. Save yourself from even more pain in the future by moving on, and when an opportunity like this comes in the future, dont wait around for the perfect moment just ask them out on a date when it feels right
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mgi
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(Original post by BuddyMurphy7)
Hi! I'm 17, most girls call me handsome and flirt with me but I've never had a proper relationship, because I'm shy and it is very Hard for me to catch feelings. I've had my first kiss and I have some experience with girls but I don't have a clue about things at all

So there is this girl, stunning looks, stunning body, great smile.. I met her around a year and a half ago, she was and still is an ultra close friend of my best friend (a dude) and when we met she was already in a long relationship with one of our friends . Time passed and we hung out a few times, but while still dating the dude, the girl had such wild wild chemistry with me that goddamn and I'm not talking about just friends but it was evident she liked me. She literally laughed her ass of at my jokes, she gave me big hugs and huge smiles, now she has a LOT of guy friends and almost no girl friends but I know the difference.

So, she dumped the dude, but I didn't do anything out of respect, for a few months we were not close, just regularly hanging out in company. On the New Year, I went totally Rock bottom because a girl i was pursuing went on rejecting me and acting like a *****, that's when this girl came and gave me a long hug and we danced for a while. After this, I realized she's not a random acquaintance in my life. I was in love with her, got touchy and I felt the same vibrations with her, but she outta nowhere got back with him. It totally crushed me, but I knew she was with him just because he had a car and she was toying with him and his feelings. While with him she still showed affection for me and acted like she isn't in a relationship but I didn't wanna do anything because I didn't wanna be a jackass. The way she talked to me, the manners she made, I knew she wished I just turned into an alpha and got her. But I didn't, she waited and waited, she dumped him, we went on a vacation with our squad and the first days she got all touchy and danced with me, maybe hoping I'm finally doing it all for her, complimenting me and flirting with me, she waited and waited before starting to act awkward with me, ignoring me and seemingly liking some other guy, she was hard to talk to the Last few days and we seemingly ignored each other. Now that I look back, I realize that she was captivated by me and while she might not want a relationship with me, maybe she wanted it to be out little secret, maybe she saw something in me, but I know for sure she loved me and that I disappointed her, I should have talked more with her, I should have grabbed her by the hands, I should have kissed her, but I didn't and now someone else is going to do that. We haven't talked in a few days but she is seemingly 24/7 texting with that new guy. I ****ed up big time but I still have a lot to prove and I don't want to lose this person from my life.. Things are really awkward now but I think that if she cared that much, this one hurdle could end as well. She loved my energetic, cool, happy vibe and not the recent sad / anxious dude who doesn't treat her like she should be treated. Do I still have a chance or is it too late, should I wait 1 - 2 months before going all in or should I tell her Everything? What do you think, is all hope by now lost if we went on a vacation and I not only did nothing, but screwed up things even more? Is it that I shouldn't have pulled away when she started acting weird and interested in other guys (something she never does) I don't care she is still the most beautiful girl and the best person I've ever known. I know we're not meant to be just friends but I'm afraid she has by now changed her opinion about me. It all happened because I was in denjal of liking her, afraid of ****ing up things. My mistake is I didn't initiate things with her and that caused her to think I have no interest in her (there are hundreds of guys who would love to be in my place) How should I approach her now? I wanna rebound, even if it take time.
Thank you for any advice cuz I'm in a *****y place right now.
Yes,.not surprised you have been put in the friend zone. You are too busy tiptoeing round issues and not being very clear about your actual feelings. It is slight fakery on your part which caused her to put you to one side.
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