Could I have some advice?

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Anonymous #1
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Hi. So I’m new to this, and it’s the first time I’ve spoken out about this so was wondering if I could have some advice. So basically I’ve had a lot of anxiety from someone I knew coming out. I randomly got a rush of a random thought that was what if I’m gay and I don’t know? I’ve always been straight, I’ve got no desire or sexual attraction to be with the same sex, I’ve got a lot of friends but I couldn’t imagine being sexual with them. These thoughts consume me, and upset me, sometimes they tell me I am gay. I’ve got nothing wrong with people who are gay/bi at all so don’t think I’m being homophobic I just can’t understand what’s happening. Any advice would be very appreciated.
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Anonymous #2
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Hang on - you're not gay or bi, and you have no attraction to the same sex, but you're anxious that you might not be straight? To me, this sounds like someone who's desperate to be anxious about something. If there's no source for the anxiety, why create one?

I'm not belittling what you say, it's just that there are a lot of people out there with genuine anxiety about their sexuality because of some event or a passing attraction.
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Gayvenclaw :D
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(Original post by Anonymous)
Hang on - you're not gay or bi, and you have no attraction to the same sex, but you're anxious that you might not be straight? To me, this sounds like someone who's desperate to be anxious about something. If there's no source for the anxiety, why create one?

I'm not belittling what you say, it's just that there are a lot of people out there with genuine anxiety about their sexuality because of some event or a passing attraction.
That's an ******* answer, dude. No one chooses to be anxious about something. That's kinda the whole thing with anxiety.
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DiddyDec
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(Original post by Gayvenclaw :D)
That's an ******* answer, dude. No one chooses to be anxious about something. That's kinda the whole thing with anxiety.
Being anxious and having anxiety as a medical diagnosis are two very different things.
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Anonymous #1
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(Original post by Gayvenclaw :D)
That's an ******* answer, dude. No one chooses to be anxious about something. That's kinda the whole thing with anxiety.
Thank you, I’ve not chosen to be anxious about this. It’s just something that’s made me anxious!
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Gayvenclaw :D
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(Original post by Anonymous)
Hi. So I’m new to this, and it’s the first time I’ve spoken out about this so was wondering if I could have some advice. So basically I’ve had a lot of anxiety from someone I knew coming out. I randomly got a rush of a random thought that was what if I’m gay and I don’t know? I’ve always been straight, I’ve got no desire or sexual attraction to be with the same sex, I’ve got a lot of friends but I couldn’t imagine being sexual with them. These thoughts consume me, and upset me, sometimes they tell me I am gay. I’ve got nothing wrong with people who are gay/bi at all so don’t think I’m being homophobic I just can’t understand what’s happening. Any advice would be very appreciated.
Hi, whatever it becomes, it'll be alright.
In regards to that last bit, I'm gay and freaked out for 2-3 years over it (from 12-15 yo) because society's heteronormative and so you have to figure out any sexuality that differs from that with no background info or experience, so it's hard no matter what your sexuality ends up being. I also freaked out a lot because I had a lot of internalised homophobia that I wasn't aware of because I was scared about what being gay meant for me as I had no personal experience with anyone who wasn't straight to relate to myself.

Going from what you've said in the post, I would suggest sitting down and thinking about / writing about your anxiety surrounding it to see if you can figure out what element of it is causing the anxiety. For example, does it come from you questioning your sexuality (or gender, etc); does it stem from a fear for your friend's safety now they've come out; and so on, see if you can figure out the specific root cause for the anxiety because then it will become a lot easier to address, whatever it ends up being.

I would also suggest looking at the queer side of Tumblr, there's a lot of information there, and a community that will give you any information you need to know, whether you end up realising that you're queer or that you're straight.

Feel free to send me a private message if you wanna ask anything, or just want someone outside of your everyday circle to talk to (whether about this or about anything completely separate)
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Anonymous #1
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(Original post by Gayvenclaw :D)
Hi, whatever it becomes, it'll be alright.
In regards to that last bit, I'm gay and freaked out for 2-3 years over it (from 12-15 yo) because society's heteronormative and so you have to figure out any sexuality that differs from that with no background info or experience, so it's hard no matter what your sexuality ends up being. I also freaked out a lot because I had a lot of internalised homophobia that I wasn't aware of because I was scared about what being gay meant for me as I had no personal experience with anyone who wasn't straight to relate to myself.

Going from what you've said in the post, I would suggest sitting down and thinking about / writing about your anxiety surrounding it to see if you can figure out what element of it is causing the anxiety. For example, does it come from you questioning your sexuality (or gender, etc); does it stem from a fear for your friend's safety now they've come out; and so on, see if you can figure out the specific root cause for the anxiety because then it will become a lot easier to address, whatever it ends up being.

I would also suggest looking at the queer side of Tumblr, there's a lot of information there, and a community that will give you any information you need to know, whether you end up realising that you're queer or that you're straight.

Feel free to send me a private message if you wanna ask anything, or just want someone outside of your everyday circle to talk to (whether about this or about anything completely separate)
I’ve pm you
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