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Is my best friend gay?

Hey, I am really curious at the minute. He denies that he is gay when I asked him last week but 2 of my other friends (when I lived in another area of the country turned out gay and the signals are clear).

So, of course he dresses immaculately and his appearance is always immaculate too. He goes to the gym everyday and is your typical vain metrosexual. He is fun, really confident and charming to all the ladies, he is natural at this.

However, he is a bit too touchy towards me. At the start of our friendship he always tried to seek my validation for me to be his friend because to me he was an annoying and embarassing guy. He would always (like all through the lesson) make silly looks towards me and etc to make me be his friend. I later found out that he was actually a normal guy.

But, he would always try and hug me and make physical contact with me and his girlfriend even accused him of being in love with me. Maybe I am paranoid. However, he was distraught apparently when I fell ill and went into hospital, like over the top distraught. Also, he kissed me (he claims he was hyper) at a concert (a proper kiss, like he tried tongues but I punched him when I realised he just kissed me, it was embarassing all our friends were there and I think he just used it against me because he was too embarassed to admit the truth). After that i had a cooling off period, but his texts were like 'at least text back' and he seemed quite hurt. Then there was the fact that he visited me everyday at hospital when all my other friends didn't, its worrying. Oh and I sneakily asked him what I should do with a girl I got a date with and he just said 'well you're a attractive guy and your hair is perfect, you'll be fine'. Tell me I'm paranoid.

100% Gay

does it really matter if he is or not?
he obviously knows how you feel...
x

Gay as a rainbow.

Send him my way.

OP

Oh and I forgot to mention that he grabbed my butt a week before he tried to kiss me, I shoved him off but no straight guy does these things right? And his choice of clothing is sometimes really macho but sometimes quite colourful.

Reply 6

ormaybeitsjustnarcissism

14

You mean he kissed you like that at the concert after you asked him if he was gay?

Reply 7

Anonymous #1

OP

ormaybeitsjustnarcissism

You mean he kissed you like that at the concert after you asked him if he was gay?

No he just kissed me spontaneously.

Reply 8

Zerforax

21

You think the choice of colouring of his clothes is the real clue to his sexuality? Honestly? :gasp:

Reply 9

ormaybeitsjustnarcissism

14

Anonymous

No he just kissed me spontaneously.

So you hadn't asked him yet if he was gay?

Reply 10

jabed786

15

probably is gay but shouldn't be a problem and I hope it doesnt affect your relationship.

although he could possibly jsut be really caring of you like he thinks of you as a brother. Are you a metrosexual as well?

Reply 11

xDestinyx

1

Maybe he just likes to take care of his appearance...should it really matter anyway? If he's your best friend it shouldnt really matter, and if he is gay just let him tell you in his own time instead of jumping to conclusions then asking him out right.

Reply 12

trm90

12

Sounds like he's sexually attracted towards guys (as well?) :p:

I don't think you should be worrying about his sexual attraction to you, rather, if he has a crush on you instead. Then again, he sounds like a touchy-feely person anyway.

Reply 13

butterfly_girl_5

8

you havent said anything at all to suggest he is attracted to guys generally-
makes it seem more like at most he has feelings for you and much more likely hes just one of those over-sensitive guys whose sensitivity probably comes from a genuine place but comes across at best open to ridicule and at worst stifling or over-sentimental
Ive felt similar to you when one of those types of guys had feelings for me- I would feel really embarassed if a guy i was friends with kissed me like that in front of all our friends even if I really liked him

having said that, id say its pretty unusual for a straight guy to kiss another guy unless hes really eccentric- but even then.

Id say acting camp and seeming to be scared of girls is more of a likely indicator of someone being gay

in any case, be sensitive to the fact he probably really likes you and cares about you- probably in a completely heterosexual way, and if he is gay or just has feelings for you in that way it will be miles harder for him than for you.

but you should talk to him about it if it makes you uncomfortable-

Reply 14

22198doyle

It seems to me that your friend enjoys bowling from the pavillion end!

Reply 15

philosophy_kid

Yea dude don't worry about it...

I had a straight best friend... and all that time you spend together, and the memories and fun stuff - it's kinda like a crush on you.

But it does go - and as soon as he get's a boyfriend it'll be cool :smile:

You just gotta accept him for him, but make sure you have a talk about you not being interested that way :smile:

Peace x

ps. i know it might be difficult, but like um... try and see how hard this might be for him too.

---
i just read thru all the posts again and they don't rly say much for you.
It's all good accepting him for who he is, but that doesn't make it easier for you if he keeps trying stuff. You just gotta be honest with him - from what you've said he cares about you, and that fact that you started this means you care about him - so you have that friendship. You just gotta talk :smile:

Be open with each other.

Good luck

Reply 16

uthred50

16

The kissing but might have taken it a bit far, but there again it's fine for two girl friends to kiss isn't it? For guys though it is a bit weird (especially paired with the grabbing butt thing)...
As others have said though, it's normal to care for a good mate, and some guys can be quite touchy-feely (but some people get quite paranoid about it/ are uncomfortable with it).

Basically we can't really say whether or not he's gay, and you shouldn't let it affect your friendship even if he is; just make sure he knows you don't want him feeling ur arse :biggrin:

If he is actually straight as a roundabout, you'll find out, but all in good time :wink:

uth =]

Reply 17

Ayla Phoenix

11

He complimented your hair.
Need I say more?

Reply 18

katkit

He could be completely confused and finds being attracted to you easy... it could also be that he is gay, but refuses to admit it for fear of losing his friendship with you.

Could just be that he's very open-minded and sees nothing wrong with over-the-top gestures of affection.

It's a complicated situation; I very much want to suggest how to deal with this, but it's a very different kettle of fish for guys...

Reply 19

-Em-

2

Anonymous

Oh and I forgot to mention that he grabbed my butt a week before he tried to kiss me, I shoved him off but no straight guy does these things right? And his choice of clothing is sometimes really macho but sometimes quite colourful.

Yes. Yes they do.

Sorry.

Is my best friend gay?

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