Anonymous #1
#1
Report Thread starter 11 months ago
#1
Hi
I am a Muslim girl and have been struggling to get married as I don’t want to date. I am 23 and looking to settle down soon. I am feeling hopeless at the moment and don’t know if I can ever get married to a decent, practising Muslim man. As the number of genuine men that are serious and haven’t had a past, are very limited!

What do I do?
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Abzzz57
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#2
Report 11 months ago
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(Original post by Anonymous)
Hi
I am a Muslim girl and have been struggling to get married as I don’t want to date. I am 23 and looking to settle down soon. I am feeling hopeless at the moment and don’t know if I can ever get married to a decent, practising Muslim man. As the number of genuine men that are serious and haven’t had a past, are very limited!

What do I do?
Hi, have you asked your family and friends if they have anybody they could set you up with? Maybe try and go to a social place that includes other Muslims and try getting to know more people there! I'm sure it will happen sooner or later, try not to rush into it! Good luck!
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Anonymous #1
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(Original post by Abzzz57)
Hi, have you asked your family and friends if they have anybody they could set you up with? Maybe try and go to a social place that includes other Muslims and try getting to know more people there! I'm sure it will happen sooner or later, try not to rush into it! Good luck!
Hi, my family aren’t well known in the community and the people that they know aren’t the practicing type that I would consider nor are they that religious. That makes it a whole lot harder... I was active in social groups and joined the isoc at uni... but didn’t come across anyone . I hope to join a sisters circle soon and want to teach part time in the mosque so I can widen my social circle.
Thank you!
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londonmyst
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Refine your marriage dealbreakers so that you have a very clear picture of the type of husband, family and marriage that you want.
Then consider registering with an experienced marriage introductions agency that provides you with the opportunity to discuss your preferences face to face inside their business premises and meet with shortlisted potential spouses.
Quite a few religious friends & those from traditionalist families chose this route with no regrets 5+ years later.

But be brutally honest with yourself in your list of marriage dealbreakers; even if it is something that you wouldn't be comfortable discussing with a sibling or parent.
The personal qualities & lifestyle features that you want in a marriage partner and those you consider so offputting to the extent that you will never tolerate.
Personality type, professional background, physical features, health issues, income, nationality, caste, sect, divorced/widower, number of children that you hope to have.
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Anonymous #2
#5
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Muzmatch or similar apps
Friends of friends
I know someone who got married to their friends wife's friend

Also maybe lower your expectations - just because someone's had a past doesn't mean they can't change, they could be more religious than you
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Anonymous #1
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(Original post by Anonymous)
Muzmatch or similar apps
Friends of friends
I know someone who got married to their friends wife's friend

Also maybe lower your expectations - just because someone's had a past doesn't mean they can't change, they could be more religious than you
I haven’t heard great things from Muzmatch tbh

As for expectations, I hardly have high expectations. Not looking for anyone with a 6 figure salary or anything materialistic. Just want the basics of having strong faith and morals. Don’t think that’s too much to ask.
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Abzzz57
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(Original post by Anonymous)
Hi, my family aren’t well known in the community and the people that they know aren’t the practicing type that I would consider nor are they that religious. That makes it a whole lot harder... I was active in social groups and joined the isoc at uni... but didn’t come across anyone . I hope to join a sisters circle soon and want to teach part time in the mosque so I can widen my social circle.
Thank you!
Ah okay, yes that does make it harder! However, joining the sisters circle and the teaching will hopefully open up new opportunities for you! Hopefully your future husband will be there!
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Anonymous #3
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I’m 17 but I’m scared that I’ll never find anyone. Most Muslims ‘date’ nowadays but I don’t think it’s right or a lot of people find eachother through social media but I don’t post on social media. Just remember that everything we go through is the will of Allah so maybe the fact that you haven’t found a husband yet is a good thing. It gives you time to truly find the right person for you and when you do, inshAllah, you’ll he glad you found someone through struggle than with ease.
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Anonymous #1
#9
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(Original post by Anonymous)
I’m 17 but I’m scared that I’ll never find anyone. Most Muslims ‘date’ nowadays but I don’t think it’s right or a lot of people find eachother through social media but I don’t post on social media. Just remember that everything we go through is the will of Allah so maybe the fact that you haven’t found a husband yet is a good thing. It gives you time to truly find the right person for you and when you do, inshAllah, you’ll he glad you found someone through struggle than with ease.
17 is still young! You’ve got plenty of time in Sha Allah.

Yes I definitely agree with you that dating and chatting via social media is the not the way to go. The halal way is full of blessings, and I wouldn’t compromise on that.

Hope you find a good pious spouse soon too!
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mgi
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(Original post by Anonymous)
I haven’t heard great things from Muzmatch tbh

As for expectations, I hardly have high expectations. Not looking for anyone with a 6 figure salary or anything materialistic. Just want the basics of having strong faith and morals. Don’t think that’s too much to ask.
Yes, i hear you but i don't think this enough for a good marriage. I would seriously suggest to you that you reach out to a well qualified married muslim counsellor for advice regarding marriage and choosing a potential life partner. It is a very big deal- much more thsn just faith snd morals.
If you don't date it is very hard to know much about the person's faith or morals apart from what they tell you! And, by the way, everyone has a past, virgin or not!
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