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Should I tell my boyfriend?

I’m 19 and about to head back to school for my sophomore year. I want to know if I should tell my boyfriend that I went out with an old high school friend.

I’m going to be a sophomore in college. I’m leaving to go back 800 miles next week. I met my boyfriend last fall and we fell in love pretty quickly. I lived with him a bit during the spring semester till we had to went home in March. We have talked with each other everyday and I’m sooo excited to see him!!!


My problem is that about 3 weeks ago, I went to a pool party with old high school friends and a guy I used to crush on my senior year was there. He could be a model and was prom king. He’s also a smooth operator and took a lot of interest in me. I blew him off and told him a had a boyfriend so...too bad for you! Well, he backed off and everyone was having a good time.


After a few beers, it became chicken fight time and he picked me to get on his shoulders. That was a lot of fun, but when we were through, he got me in a quiet corner and started to kiss me. We had a few beers by then and I let him for a bit.


After a minute I got my towel and got changed. He changed too and was waiting for me when I came out. We chatted for a minute and he asked if I wanted him to drive me back to my brothers apartment where I was living for the summer. I told my other friends and I left with him. We parked outside the apartment building and we chatted until he made another move. I had too many beers and I kissed him back. I stopped after a few minutes and pulled away telling him that that was too far and I needed to go in. He was good with that and walked me to the door. He tried to kiss me again, but I stopped him and reminded him i had a boyfriend.


So that’s it! I feel so awful! I wish I hadn’t done that to my boyfriend!! I love him so much!!!
My friends tell me to drop it and move on! He will never know. That sounds easy, but I can’t sleep or eat the last couple of days. When he calls, I feel like crying!! I want to just forget like my friends say, but I can’t!!
What should I do?

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cheating is cheating, he has the right to know what you have done and whos to say you wont do it again
not very encouraging....
tell your boyfriend.

you broke his trust and he deserves to know.
Reply 4
I didn’t plan it and I wish it didn’t happen. I can’t sleep or eat, so I need to know how to tell him.
Reply 5
Original post by Anonymous
cheating is cheating, he has the right to know what you have done and whos to say you wont do it again

Me! I’ve never done that before and never ever will again! I learned my lesson!
Original post by Jill Mead18
Me! I’ve never done that before and never ever will again! I learned my lesson!

Just be honest with him, seriously its the only thing you can do to clear your conscious, if he wants to carry the relationship forward he will have to decide for himself...
Original post by Jill Mead18
Me! I’ve never done that before and never ever will again! I learned my lesson!


so if you’ve learnt your lesson, you should come clean. you broke his trust and that is not ok. he deserves to know what happened. yes, you may never do it again but he deserves to know. if you don’t tell him, that’s just as bad as cheating on him again.
Original post by Jill Mead18
I’m 19 and about to head back to school for my sophomore year. I want to know if I should tell my boyfriend that I went out with an old high school friend.

I’m going to be a sophomore in college. I’m leaving to go back 800 miles next week. I met my boyfriend last fall and we fell in love pretty quickly. I lived with him a bit during the spring semester till we had to went home in March. We have talked with each other everyday and I’m sooo excited to see him!!!


My problem is that about 3 weeks ago, I went to a pool party with old high school friends and a guy I used to crush on my senior year was there. He could be a model and was prom king. He’s also a smooth operator and took a lot of interest in me. I blew him off and told him a had a boyfriend so...too bad for you! Well, he backed off and everyone was having a good time.


After a few beers, it became chicken fight time and he picked me to get on his shoulders. That was a lot of fun, but when we were through, he got me in a quiet corner and started to kiss me. We had a few beers by then and I let him for a bit.


After a minute I got my towel and got changed. He changed too and was waiting for me when I came out. We chatted for a minute and he asked if I wanted him to drive me back to my brothers apartment where I was living for the summer. I told my other friends and I left with him. We parked outside the apartment building and we chatted until he made another move. I had too many beers and I kissed him back. I stopped after a few minutes and pulled away telling him that that was too far and I needed to go in. He was good with that and walked me to the door. He tried to kiss me again, but I stopped him and reminded him i had a boyfriend.


So that’s it! I feel so awful! I wish I hadn’t done that to my boyfriend!! I love him so much!!!
My friends tell me to drop it and move on! He will never know. That sounds easy, but I can’t sleep or eat the last couple of days. When he calls, I feel like crying!! I want to just forget like my friends say, but I can’t!!
What should I do?

It's not like you slept with him, is it? Keep quiet about it. Next time don't get drunk, this is what happens when you lose control.

If it gets out, at least you could say you were drunk and can't recall it.
Original post by Jill Mead18
I didn’t plan it and I wish it didn’t happen. I can’t sleep or eat, so I need to know how to tell him.

sit him down, face to face and tell him, no beating around the bush or attempting to make it seem lighter than it is, you dont get to be sad this was a decision you made and you need to own up to it, theres two results from this and that is that he will be heartbroken and forgive you or be heartbroken and end the relationship, you obviously feel immensely guilty for what you have done but that doesnt make you the victim in this, own up to it because if you dont your relationship will just continue to grow through more lies
Original post by Oxford Mum
It's not like you slept with him, is it? Keep quiet about it. Next time don't get drunk, this is what happens when you lose control.

If it gets out, at least you could say you were drunk and can't recall it.


Cheating is cheating. She broke his trust and lying about it is just as bad. If my partner kissed someone else, I would want to know about it. Better to come clean now then it pop up in a few months time.
I’m going to see him Tuesday when I get back to school. Going tell him face to face. I’m going to tell him I love him and that I feel awful and can’t sleep or eat. I’m afraid he’ll think things were worse!
Original post by pepsimaxcherry
tell your boyfriend.

you broke his trust and he deserves to know.

I am when I get back to school Tuesday.
Original post by Jill Mead18
I’m going to see him Tuesday when I get back to school. Going tell him face to face. I’m going to tell him I love him and that I feel awful and can’t sleep or eat. I’m afraid he’ll think things were worse!


at the end of the day, actions have consequences. yes, you made a mistake but lying about it will only make it worse. you’re doing the right thing by telling him.
Original post by Anonymous
Just be honest with him, seriously its the only thing you can do to clear your conscious, if he wants to carry the relationship forward he will have to decide for himself...

Yes. You’re right!
Original post by Jill Mead18
I’m going to see him Tuesday when I get back to school. Going tell him face to face. I’m going to tell him I love him and that I feel awful and can’t sleep or eat. I’m afraid he’ll think things were worse!

not to make you feel even worse but telling him things such as you "cant sleep or eat" can just be turned around and make him seem like the bad guy for not forgiving you, express that you're sorry but dont try to play the victim :/
Original post by Anonymous
not to make you feel even worse but telling him things such as you "cant sleep or eat" can just be turned around and make him seem like the bad guy for not forgiving you, express that you're sorry but dont try to play the victim :/


Yes yes yes!

Don’t play victim or try to manipulate!!!
Original post by Jill Mead18
I’m 19 and about to head back to school for my sophomore year. I want to know if I should tell my boyfriend that I went out with an old high school friend.

I’m going to be a sophomore in college. I’m leaving to go back 800 miles next week. I met my boyfriend last fall and we fell in love pretty quickly. I lived with him a bit during the spring semester till we had to went home in March. We have talked with each other everyday and I’m sooo excited to see him!!!


My problem is that about 3 weeks ago, I went to a pool party with old high school friends and a guy I used to crush on my senior year was there. He could be a model and was prom king. He’s also a smooth operator and took a lot of interest in me. I blew him off and told him a had a boyfriend so...too bad for you! Well, he backed off and everyone was having a good time.


After a few beers, it became chicken fight time and he picked me to get on his shoulders. That was a lot of fun, but when we were through, he got me in a quiet corner and started to kiss me. We had a few beers by then and I let him for a bit.


After a minute I got my towel and got changed. He changed too and was waiting for me when I came out. We chatted for a minute and he asked if I wanted him to drive me back to my brothers apartment where I was living for the summer. I told my other friends and I left with him. We parked outside the apartment building and we chatted until he made another move. I had too many beers and I kissed him back. I stopped after a few minutes and pulled away telling him that that was too far and I needed to go in. He was good with that and walked me to the door. He tried to kiss me again, but I stopped him and reminded him i had a boyfriend.


So that’s it! I feel so awful! I wish I hadn’t done that to my boyfriend!! I love him so much!!!
My friends tell me to drop it and move on! He will never know. That sounds easy, but I can’t sleep or eat the last couple of days. When he calls, I feel like crying!! I want to just forget like my friends say, but I can’t!!
What should I do?


Ladies and Gents, a prime example of if you cannot handle your drinks, don't drink it's as simple as that, I'm fed up of hearing alochol or beer, or a form of intoxication, it's not a valid excuse. If you knew you're someone lightweight easily intoxicated, then why bother. Alcohol, pool party and a mix of hormones, what did you expect to happen, people just singing kumbaya with a ukelele? I'm sorry to sound harsh, for advice I suggest you just tell him, you want to forget? don't listen to your friends the whole point of making a mistake is so you learn from it not forget it! that's such an ignorant way to go about it.

Tell your boyfriend, whatever happens it's on him, and up to him and him only, least you would then have done all you could to try rectify your mistake which you oh so desperately "want to forget" :smile:
(edited 3 years ago)
Nah, ignorance is bliss.
There's nothing worse than people using alcohol as an excuse for cheating. "I wouldn't have done it, I was just so drunk" don't drink then?? If you can't control yourself whilst drinking then don't consume alcohol, it's that simple.

You clearly knew what you were doing as well - you kissed on multiple occasions so you can't even pretend it was just a heat of the moment, one time thing. Once is a mistake, twice is taking the piss.

I hope you tell your boyfriend so he can find someone better.

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