If you used Clearing in 2024, how did you find it?

If you used Clearing in 2024, how did you find it?

If you used Clearing in 2024, how did you find it?

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Boyfriend subscribes to porn websites

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OK, I've just tidied a whole load of crap out of this thread. Yes, we have established that there is a lot of free porn out there. Please stop mentioning names of sites. And yes, there is an amusingly-titled song from Avenue Q which has several animated versions on youtube. Now let's address the problem.

OP, every time you post about your boyfriend I think more and more that your relationship has no future. Every time he's done something new that's bad and you can't bring yourself to break up. If this were a one off, I'd talk to him and say it's not very fair for him to say you have no money when he's spending all that on porn (and to whoever said it wasn't, £30 when you're a poor student is a fair amount, I wish I had that much extra a month!) But it's not a one off, is it? I think you really need to have some proper discussions with him about where your relationship is going. Don't think about the future, houses, engagement and kids etc when you've got these problems staring you in the face right now.

Anonymous

I am in my 20s and we have been together a few years so of course we are thinking to the future.

then why are you reading his emails and worrying about porn?

What sites does he pay for? ahhaha

I don't see why you can't sort your own life out, tbh. This message applies to most threads in H&R, but yours especially. I don't mean to sound harsh, but if you're bright enough to type then you're bright enough to sort your own life out and do what you want to do and say what you want to say to your boyfriend. Why would random TSR posters offer any advice that you couldn't have thought of for yourself?

Its his money so you can't really so you aren't allowed to spend it on x,y,z in general. However I really would question why he wants to look at porn when he's in a relationship and why the hell he's paying for it? If he cannot realise that what he is doing and how its affecting your relationship with him, then is he really the right guy to settle down with? In your 20s I don't think you should worry about settling down anyway, at least not until you've left university. I know sometimes you have to say things to people to make them realise but if you are really are getting stressed about this porn issue and aren't able to tell him this, then I think this says something about your relationship. I know this sounds very judgemental but good luck.

OP

Helenia

I think you really need to have some proper discussions with him about where your relationship is going. Don't think about the future, houses, engagement and kids etc when you've got these problems staring you in the face right now.

I know you are right, I think there is no point posting here when I need to talk to him to be able to make a decision. Talking is the key and we have talked a lot lately and things are finally sorting themselves. Thanks for making me realise that. :smile:

:smile:

Anonymous

My boyfriend has subscribed to a number of porn websites which is costing over £30 a month, I have seen this from his emails and am not happy about this as I think it is a waste of money. What do I do?

IMHO you should stop being so judgemental.
If your BF wants to spend £30 a month on porn, that is totally up to him. You said that you are happy for him to watch free porn, so the only issue here is that he chooses to spend money on it to rather than getting it for free. He could very easily make the argument that paying for it means he doesn't have to mess around looking for it, and is consequently much less likely to get trojans and viruses on his computer.
You say that him spending the money in this way is 'reckless'. I don't think it is fair for you to dictate what your BF spends on personal purchases. You probably wouldn't be very happy if he turned round and told you to stop spending so much money on nice clothes when cheaper substitutes (e.g. shop at primark) are available.

If you think your BF is reckless with money and consequently have concerns about moving in with him, that is a completely different issue. But I think that telling him to stop paying for porn, on the basis that you think it is not worth the money, is totally unreasonable. Why you were reading his personal e-mails is another matter.

He pays!

Tell him about streaming.

you're bothered about the waste of money? i would be more bothered that my boyfriend is addicted to internet porn?
cause if you're paying for that stuff you've really got to be quite hardcore.

Jpig: internet porn addict.

Internet porn = apparantly good clean fun .... but only if it's free. The promise of filling your hard drive with porn is infinetly more appealing than a contract with Orange, though.

I pay for it, and it's worth every penny.

Free porn is absolutely rubbish.

viz phrase of the day:
porn vortex - a whirling fifth dimension where time has no meaning, encountered when looking for left handed sites on the internet. One could fall into a porn vortex and emerge ten minutes later to discover that three days have elapsed.

thats the real problem with porn

Helenia

OP, every time you post about your boyfriend I think more and more that your relationship has no future.

You shouldn't say things like that..

Respect to the kid!

Give him a pat on the back from me OP.

Bateman

You shouldn't say things like that..

I, for one, agree.

Arka

What exactly do you mean by kinky?
Could you be more specific? It's important that we know what we're dealing with here. If it's extreme pornography,I'd be concerned about your own personal safety.He might want to reenact his porn fantasies in real life.

I doubt it, I'd say that most people look at 'kinky' porn to get it out of their system, it's like a release so that they don't have to act it out themselves.

dump him

anyone who doesnt know how to get free porn really isnt exactly an einstien

Bateman

You shouldn't say things like that..

Why not? One of the few advantages of modding this place is that I can see who posts regularly on similar topics and offer some kind of continuity of care to them. This situation as an isolated incident is very different from the way it looks when viewed as part of a whole - and I think I can help more by talking about the whole picture. The OP knows what I'm talking about, and I've been sufficiently vague that nobody else will.

And for the last time, will people PLEASE stop saying "But there's so much free porn out there!" or telling him what to google? Thank you.

cherryhouse1508

good on the lad, he is clearly a legend

To be honest, if it's his money (I'm sorry, I haven't read through the entire thread so I'm not sure about that), then you can't exactly stop him, can you? If he chooses to pay for it, and feels that it's better than free stuff, then why not let him have his fun? It's not really affecting you in any way, and it shouldn't really bother you too much- lots of guys watch porn, it's not a reflection on how attractive he finds you etc.

Helenia

Why not? One of the few advantages of modding this place is that I can see who posts regularly on similar topics and offer some kind of continuity of care to them. This situation as an isolated incident is very different from the way it looks when viewed as part of a whole - and I think I can help more by talking about the whole picture. The OP knows what I'm talking about, and I've been sufficiently vague that nobody else will.

And for the last time, will people PLEASE stop saying "But there's so much free porn out there!" or telling him what to google? Thank you.

but you still can't say things like that, you don't know them, and she might just take our advice.

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