Friends relationship concern

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Anonymous #1
#1
Report Thread starter 1 month ago
#1
So my friend recently got into a "long distance" relationship with a girl from another country (where he's originally from but moved to the UK but plans on going back over there etc) and he seems happy but i just feel like he's being played.

She will reply to her friends first and makes up excuses about being busy and not on social media (clearly forgot Instagram has activity status lol) and earlier she told him he can go out and have sex with other people to apparently build confidence? i'm just confused...if you (girls) was dating long distance would you be giving your "bf" permission to have sex with other girls? to me it just defeats the point and surely isn't normal? personally i think she doesn't really like him and just hopes he will fall in love with someone else (who he sleeps with lol) but he tells me i'm being silly and there is nothing wrong with it....i think all lads would be saying hell yeah if your gf was giving you permission to sleep with others until meeting them? to me it just seems wrong and like she doesn't actually care. If you claimed to love and care about someone and got into long distance thats based purely on trust why would you give your bf/gf permission to sleep with others? and if you flip it and guys you told your gf they can sleep with another dude before meeting this doesn't seem like something someone would say?

Whats your thoughts on this? i'm just concerned for him as a friend as he's planning on spending thousands on her to get her into the UK and stuff and i know his last relationship sent him into a dark zone for a month or two.
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Mickykay
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Report 1 month ago
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Hi I agree it kinda defeats the purpose of trusting each other and all the sleeping with other people also makes it just meaningless telling me she doesn’t really care much about ur friend although she could just be a super chill girl
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Anonymous #2
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Put it this way if you were dating a girl would you say hey honey go **** some guy until we meet? I think if she liked him and cared she wouldn’t be letting him sleep with whoever he wants and not to mention the risk of STDS and as a girl you don’t want to get with someone who you know has been sleeping with others leading up to meeting and possibly sleeping with you? So in my opinion you’re right and your friend is being taken for a fool and she’s hoping he moves on to someone else because nobody in their right mind would come out and say that if they loved and cared.

You also said to build confidence so is the boy a virgin? If that’s the case then it’s even worse because surely you would want to lose your virginity to the girl you love and are dating long distance not some random person? Explain your concerns to him and if he doesn’t listen then atleast you tried some people have to go through something to admit they were wrong and learn from it.
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Anonymous #1
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Report Thread starter 1 month ago
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(Original post by Mickykay)
Hi I agree it kinda defeats the purpose of trusting each other and all the sleeping with other people also makes it just meaningless telling me she doesn’t really care much about ur friend although she could just be a super chill girl
Thank you for your thoughts.

(Original post by Anonymous)
Put it this way if you were dating a girl would you say hey honey go **** some guy until we meet? I think if she liked him and cared she wouldn’t be letting him sleep with whoever he wants and not to mention the risk of STDS and as a girl you don’t want to get with someone who you know has been sleeping with others leading up to meeting and possibly sleeping with you? So in my opinion you’re right and your friend is being taken for a fool and she’s hoping he moves on to someone else because nobody in their right mind would come out and say that if they loved and cared.

You also said to build confidence so is the boy a virgin? If that’s the case then it’s even worse because surely you would want to lose your virginity to the girl you love and are dating long distance not some random person? Explain your concerns to him and if he doesn’t listen then atleast you tried some people have to go through something to admit they were wrong and learn from it.
They're both virgins yeah which to me makes it even worse, i have tried explaining the logic behind it to him and he doesn't see it as weird..maybe he's just taking advantage of being able to do it but to me it still seems wrong.
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Anonymous #2
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Report 1 month ago
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(Original post by Anonymous)
They're both virgins yeah which to me makes it even worse, i have tried explaining the logic behind it to him and he doesn't see it as weird..maybe he's just taking advantage of being able to do it but to me it still seems wrong.
I don’t understand why the girl would want him to sleep with others when they’re both virgin so obviously clean from stds and stuff and if it’s for experience does that mean he’s allowing her to sleep with someone before meeting too? They are both virgin so it would be equally a learning experience so why would she want him to sleep with others first as it does not benefit anything and all it does is increase the risk for when she sleeps with him😂 I’m in agreement with the guy above that she doesn’t love or care for him she is just hoping he moves onto someone else and if your friend finds her saying that a normal thing to say then that tells me straight away he’s new to dating and doesn’t know how to look for signs. Wish you luck.
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