tell my boyfriend about medical history?

Watch
pepsimaxcherry
Badges: 20
Rep:
?
#1
Report Thread starter 1 month ago
#1
hi!

so this is really random but it’s been playing on my mind haha!

as some of you know, i was diagnosed with anxiety at 13 along with a few other things. i was told there was a chance i couldnt have children, but being 13 at the time, i didn’t think much of it.

it’s been 4 years and multiple doctors visits later, I’ve been told that it’s only between a 5-10% chance that I can’t have children.

should I tell my boyfriend this? we are only 17 and not even thinking about children or anything. idk. it feels wrong not to tell him but at the same time, it’s unlikely that I can’t have children.

i would tell him now, but he already worries quite a lot and is an over thinker.

should I tell him or is it better to just leave it? or should I tell him way down the line if we are still together and trying for a baby?

thanks guys
0
reply
Mesopotamian.
Badges: 20
Rep:
?
#2
Report 1 month ago
#2
I would personally go for the second option you’ve listed: waiting until later if you’re both still together
2
reply
pepsimaxcherry
Badges: 20
Rep:
?
#3
Report Thread starter 1 month ago
#3
(Original post by Mesopotamian.)
I would personally go for the second option you’ve listed: waiting until later if you’re both still together
hi! thank you!

i agree, that was my original plan haha! i mean we are really young and only just starting a relationship, who knows how long we will last! thank you for the advice
0
reply
Torigracex
Badges: 17
Rep:
?
#4
Report 1 month ago
#4
It’s entirely up to you, and of course only you know the actual situation and relationship between you two. I don’t think you necessarily need to tell him now since you are so young and it’s not a really high chance of you not being able to get pregnant, so maybe later on down the line, if you’re still together and at the point where you might be looking at kids, that may be a good time to tell him. However if you start feeling like you’re keeping a secret from him you shouldn’t be, it’s probably better to get it off your chest whenever you’re ready to. Hope this helps!
0
reply
X.243llie
Badges: 16
Rep:
?
#5
Report 1 month ago
#5
how long hv u been together cos ur only 17 if u hvnt been together long id wait to u get to 19 or 20 that way ull know if he rlly does want u and ur meant for eachother then id tell him
0
reply
pepsimaxcherry
Badges: 20
Rep:
?
#6
Report Thread starter 1 month ago
#6
(Original post by Torigracex)
It’s entirely up to you, and of course only you know the actual situation and relationship between you two. I don’t think you necessarily need to tell him now since you are so young and it’s not a really high chance of you not being able to get pregnant, so maybe later on down the line, if you’re still together and at the point where you might be looking at kids, that may be a good time to tell him. However if you start feeling like you’re keeping a secret from him you shouldn’t be, it’s probably better to get it off your chest whenever you’re ready to. Hope this helps!
hey! thanks!

yes, totally agree! i mean we are very young and who knows how long we will be together! right now i feel that it’s okay for me not to tell him as it’s unlikely and sort of irrelevant. if the time comes in the future when we want a baby, I would absolutely tell him!
1
reply
vix.xvi
Badges: 20
Rep:
?
#7
Report 1 month ago
#7
up to you
whatever makes u feel more comfortable
1
reply
pepsimaxcherry
Badges: 20
Rep:
?
#8
Report Thread starter 1 month ago
#8
(Original post by X.243llie)
how long hv u been together cos ur only 17 if u hvnt been together long id wait to u get to 19 or 20 that way ull know if he rlly does want u and ur meant for eachother then id tell him
been together for over a year, but who knows how long we will last. i think I’m going to wait until it’s relevant. once we (or whoever I’m with) try for a baby, I think I’d tell them then!
0
reply
vix.xvi
Badges: 20
Rep:
?
#9
Report 1 month ago
#9
(Original post by pepsimaxcherry)
been together for over a year, but who knows how long we will last. i think I’m going to wait until it’s relevant. once we (or whoever I’m with) try for a baby, I think I’d tell them then!
good luck
0
reply
pepsimaxcherry
Badges: 20
Rep:
?
#10
Report Thread starter 1 month ago
#10
(Original post by vix.xvi)
good luck
thank you!
0
reply
999tigger
Badges: 19
#11
Report 1 month ago
#11
(Original post by pepsimaxcherry)
hi!

so this is really random but it’s been playing on my mind haha!

as some of you know, i was diagnosed with anxiety at 13 along with a few other things. i was told there was a chance i couldnt have children, but being 13 at the time, i didn’t think much of it.

it’s been 4 years and multiple doctors visits later, I’ve been told that it’s only between a 5-10% chance that I can’t have children.

should I tell my boyfriend this? we are only 17 and not even thinking about children or anything. idk. it feels wrong not to tell him but at the same time, it’s unlikely that I can’t have children.

i would tell him now, but he already worries quite a lot and is an over thinker.

should I tell him or is it better to just leave it? or should I tell him way down the line if we are still together and trying for a baby?

thanks guys
Not now and if its only a 5-10% impediment I would question whether ypou need to tell him at all , unless you started trying for one. Not worth talking about or relevant. I thought it was going to be soemthing much more serious/ controversial. Dont worry.
0
reply
pepsimaxcherry
Badges: 20
Rep:
?
#12
Report Thread starter 1 month ago
#12
(Original post by 999tigger)
Not now and if its only a 5-10% impediment I would question whether ypou need to tell him at all , unless you started trying for one. Not worth talking about or relevant. I thought it was going to be soemthing much more serious/ controversial. Dont worry.
I know you don’t mean to come across as rude, but personally I do find the issue “serious”. It’s affecting me, my health and my future and I feel as though that is quite serious.

But yes, I agree with you. I am going to hold out until when I’m trying for a baby, and I will then tell my partner.
0
reply
Kerzen
Badges: 16
Rep:
?
#13
Report 1 month ago
#13
One thing it might be worth bearing in mind is that you may at some point need to discuss contraception. That might be the right time to mention what you know about your fertility so that you can both make the right choice for the two of you. It's possible that the full range of contraception ie a choice which includes the pill might not be suitable for you and you may need to explain to him why taking the pill isn't an option for you.

I wouldn't bring up the question of your fertility just yet, though.

Something else to bear in mind is that medical help with infertility is advancing very quickly. Although it might take a lot of help from specialists, there may be a possibility of having children later on.
Last edited by Kerzen; 1 month ago
0
reply
pepsimaxcherry
Badges: 20
Rep:
?
#14
Report Thread starter 1 month ago
#14
(Original post by Kerzen)
One thing it might be worth bearing in mind is that you may at some point need to discuss contraception. That might be the right time to mention what you know about your fertility so that you can both make the right choice for the two of you. It's possible that the full range of contraception ie a choice which includes the pill might not be suitable for you and you may need to explain to him why taking the pill isn't an option for you.

I wouldn't bring up the question of your fertility just yet, though.

Something else to bear in mind is that medical help with infertility is advancing very quickly. Although it might take a lot of help from specialists, there may be a possibility of having children later on.
Hi! Thanks for the reply!

We are already using contraception, not the pill. As far as my boyfriend knows, I am not going on the pill as I don’t like the side effects.

But thank you!
0
reply
999tigger
Badges: 19
#15
Report 1 month ago
#15
(Original post by pepsimaxcherry)
I know you don’t mean to come across as rude, but personally I do find the issue “serious”. It’s affecting me, my health and my future and I feel as though that is quite serious.

But yes, I agree with you. I am going to hold out until when I’m trying for a baby, and I will then tell my partner.
You are 17.
How is a 5-10% impediment serious?
You need some perspective.
Its not relevant now.
There are other things in life that can affect your chances far more , but you arent worrying about those.

Deal with it when its more relevant to your situation. i.e when it looks likely you will be trying for a child and even then, its such a low number that other factors are goinng to be more influential. You should keep a diary and then read the entry over this about what your 17 year old self though in 20 years and see if you agree.
0
reply
pepsimaxcherry
Badges: 20
Rep:
?
#16
Report Thread starter 1 month ago
#16
(Original post by 999tigger)
You are 17.
How is a 5-10% impediment serious?
You need some perspective.
Its not relevant now.
There are other things in life that can affect your chances far more , but you arent worrying about those.

Deal with it when its more relevant to your situation. i.e when it looks likely you will be trying for a child and even then, its such a low number that other factors are goinng to be more influential. You should keep a diary and then read the entry over this about what your 17 year old self though in 20 years and see if you agree.
My age is irrelevant. Yes, the original question I asked would need my age taken into account but I’ve decided to wait to tell my partner until we would be trying for a baby.

Something like being told you can’t have children is serious. No matter the statistics. Being told this is extremely disheartening and upsetting, even if it is just a tiny chance.
0
reply
Pathway
Badges: 20
Rep:
?
#17
Report 1 month ago
#17
(Original post by pepsimaxcherry)
My age is irrelevant. Yes, the original question I asked would need my age taken into account but I’ve decided to wait to tell my partner until we would be trying for a baby.

Something like being told you can’t have children is serious. No matter the statistics. Being told this is extremely disheartening and upsetting, even if it is just a tiny chance.
Wait, so there's a 90+% chance you CAN have kids?

RE: the original question, tell him if/when you feel comfortable or if you guys start talking about kids. If you're under the care of a specialist it might be worth asking if they have attached health psychologists to help you process the news though. I hope things look up for you soon. Health news sucks.
0
reply
pepsimaxcherry
Badges: 20
Rep:
?
#18
Report Thread starter 1 month ago
#18
(Original post by Pathway)
Wait, so there's a 90+% chance you CAN have kids?

RE: the original question, tell him if/when you feel comfortable or if you guys start talking about kids. If you're under the care of a specialist it might be worth asking if they have attached health psychologists to help you process the news though. I hope things look up for you soon. Health news sucks.
Yes. But even so, the news is upsetting. That’s all I’m trying to say. Whether anyone reading this views it as “serious” or not is irrelevant. It’s serious to me and I was simply asking for an outsiders input which I got from some lovely responses!

Thank you for your kind words! Even though the statistics look good, it’s more the thought at the back of my mind!
0
reply
Zarek
Badges: 21
Rep:
?
#19
Report 1 month ago
#19
I don’t think this is relevant at the start of a relationship. Cross that bridge when the time comes, if the time comes.
0
reply
pepsimaxcherry
Badges: 20
Rep:
?
#20
Report Thread starter 1 month ago
#20
(Original post by Zarek)
I don’t think this is relevant at the start of a relationship. Cross that bridge when the time comes, if the time comes.
Agreed. Thanks!
1
reply
X

Quick Reply

Attached files
Write a reply...
Reply
new posts
Back
to top
Latest
My Feed

See more of what you like on
The Student Room

You can personalise what you see on TSR. Tell us a little about yourself to get started.

Personalise

How are you feeling ahead of starting University?

I am excited and looking forward to starting (47)
14.11%
I am excited but have some apprehension around Covid-19 measures (46)
13.81%
I am concerned I will miss out on aspects of the uni experience due to new measures (121)
36.34%
I am concerned the Covid-19 measures at uni are not strong enough (33)
9.91%
I am nervous and feel I don't have enough information (68)
20.42%
Something else (let us know in the thread!) (18)
5.41%

Watched Threads

View All